The Boy With The Sad Smile
by thelordsnow
Summary: It's Blaine's junior year. Finding himself in a brand new school surrounded brand new people hits him like a tonne of bricks before he comes across one Kurt Hummel. Things would be great, if only everyone knew just how deep Blaine was. It seemed some days just weren't destined to be great. V. angsty, self harm and eating disorder content.
1. Chapter 1

The boy with the sad smile sat in the same place for the same amount of time everyday for…what…seven days straight now. It was Tuesday, and the boy sat nibbling on a salad that, to Kurt's eyes, looked completely lush.

He took another bite of his own salad, spearing a piece of chicken on the end of his fork while maintaining his inconspicuous observation of the boy from across the cafeteria. The boy paused and looked up; scanning the room before taking a sip of the coke can he had sat in front of him. Seven days was enough of a wait right? He would totally walk over there and say hi and make friends with him and they would totally hit it off and the wedding would be autumn themed…

_Whoa, Kurt, chill out. You don't even know if he's gay_

**_He's totally gay._**

_How do you know?_

**_I can just tell_**

_And you're such an expert?_

He froze the internal soliloquy in its tracks when he noticed the guy making a move to stand. No, he had this.

Thing was, this school didn't have much of an appreciation for anything out of the ordinary, and that boundary was most definitely crossed by Kurt on a daily basis. It seemed in modern society, being fabulous was outlawed; a concept Kurt chose freely to ignore. His life was glitter and Broadway and romance. His life was what life used to be, what in his eyes it should be. Not the shambles society had allowed it to become. Honestly, what had happened to dating? Did people even date anymore? Or was straight to…you know…the dirty stuff? Not that he would know. He was a single as pringle, and proud to be. If nobody around him could understand how marvellous he was then why would they be worthy of him. Kurt may be single, but he did have standards. Standards that it was likely nobody would reach in these premises. Well, until seven days ago when this darling showed up.

So Kurt wasn't a forward guy, yeah, maybe when he was up on stage belting it out he was confident but he was sick and tired of taking a back seat. He had thrown enough notes to make himself invisible, he wasn't going to let this opportunity slip the net. He swallowed and stood, taking his own tray in hand as he snaked his way with difficulty, over to the boy with the sad smile.

"Hey!" he grinned down before placing his tray down neatly and sliding onto the bench opposite. The guy froze in the act of ruffling through his bag (not faux leather, to Kurt's satisfaction) "Kurt Hummel" he shot out a hand for the stranger to shake. He took it wearily. Kurt felt the softness of his skin, the warmth, but it was obvious this guy was stronger than he looked.

"Blaine Anderson" he replied. He took his hand back and closed his bag, seemingly finished with whatever he was doing.

"You're new right? I haven't seen you around before " he tried to sound offhand but the way Blaine was looking up at him through his eyelashes, eyes boring into his own had his heart melting in his chest.

"Yeah, I'm a junior, just transferred from Dolton." He smiled and took a sip of coke.

"Ah the Warblers" Kurt rested his elbows on the table and set his head atop his clasped hands.

"yeah, how'd you…" the boy looked confused

"I'm part of the New Directions, I've seen you perform. I was sent to spy last year" he admitted

"Oh right okay." He looked a little uncomfortable but Kurt was determined to keep this conversation going. And it had nothing whatsoever to do with the way his companions head tilted to the side with shyness or the way his hands were clasped in his lap.

"So you're finding your way around alright? Classes are okay?"

"Yeah, it's a lot bigger than Dalton" he gestured to the room "but I'm sure I'll get used to it. anyway I erm, I should go, I have an ap class I need to catch up with" he made to stand up and Kurt mirrored him. "It was nice to meet you Kurt. Maybe I'll see you around?"

"Sure" Kurt agreed, smiling warmly and waving a hand as Blaine made towards the doors. He sank back into seat as soon as he was out of sight. _Holy Streisand he is freaking gorgeous._

* * *

Okay, relax Blaine, you can do this.

Dalton had been smaller, this was just…bigger. A lot bigger. And a lot scarier. And just a lot of things really.

He tugged the collar of his shirt down a little and walked timidly into the parking lot. He observed carefully as he walked, taking in the jocks here, the cheerleaders there. He made note of where best to avoid any attention and made his way to his first class of the day.

Mostly he spent his time in between classes avoiding notice and trying not to make friends. Friends were not fun things to have and he wanted to avoid any kind of kinship in that area.

But then there had been Kurt. Sweet smiling Kurt.

He had been so warm, so welcoming, it made him question his choices. It was also nice to find someone else with some dress sense. No, Blaine was not going to make friends. He was not going to go down that road.

He pulled open his locker at midday and placed his math books carefully inside before inspecting his timetable to see where he was going to go next. Then came a light tap on his shoulder.

"Kurt" he exclaimed, spinning on the spot. The boy smiled slightly at the mention of his name.

"Hey. You looked a little lost" oh now he was being helpful.

"Yeah I was just trying to figure out how to get to the caf while avoiding the locker room."

"Why do you want to-"

"I'm just trying to avoid trouble" he indicated his outfit, today light green Capri pants and a black polo shirt. "not exactly typical for around here" he laughed softly and turned back to his locker, hitching his bag higher on his shoulder.

"I can show you if you'd like?" Kurt asked hopefully, dipping his head slightly. It had Blaine on the brink – fight or flight. That adorable smile though, he gave in after only a moment's hesitation.

"Sure, why not" he sighed, snapping his locker shut. "Lead the way"

"Great!" Kurt replied, bouncing a little on the spot "this way." He began to walk back the way they had come, pointing every time they needed to turn a corner. They fell into step and conversation.

"I like the outfit by the way it's very…ete." Blaine swallowed a smile

"I like to dress brightly when the sun's out. You don't get that chance in the winter"

"Oh my god exactly. Grey is so overrated."

"You said it"

Silence fell as they continued to walk

"So was there a reason you transferred over here or..." Blaine cleared his throat

"I'd kind of rather not talk about it" he shrugged apologetically "I'm sorry it just…"

"No, no don't worry honestly! I was just being my usual over curious self. It's a problem. I go to therapy for it"

"Now that I doubt"

"hey! It's too early for you to be doubting me Blaine Anderson." Kurt swatted his arm. Blaine Smiled.

"I'm sorry" he held his hands up in mock surrender "forthwith I give you permission to, erm…" he trailed off.

"Give me permission to…sit with you at lunch? Yes there. Your punishment – though not much of a punishment – is to sit with me at lunch for the rest of the week" Kurt smiled smugly, apparently pleased with his quick thinking. Blaine's heart dropped. Sure he would love too sit with Kurt at lunch - for the rest of his life to be honest - but the thought of having to keep up conversation was more than a little bit daunting. He wasn't a talker, but it seemed he wasn't escaping this one. He sighed.

"If you insist! Although I must warn you, I'm pretty terrible company."

"Oh whatever. With style like that, I'm sure your head is full to the brim with interesting things."

Blaine had nothing to say to that. Okay so maybe he did have a head full of interesting things. Like how right now the fact that Kurt had just complimented his style had his stomach doing somersaults.

"Here we are" Kurt stopped, gripping the strap of his bag with both hands. "And you my friend, are coming with me to meet the rest of Glee" he was about to protest when Kurt grabbed his wrist and began to pull him over to a table on the far side of the caf. They stopped abruptly as the reached the group, each of them looking up and shooting a variety of confused and warm smiles over at them. "Everyone, this is Blaine. Blaine this is everyone." They all raised hands to give him short waves and nods which he returned. Kurt slid into a chair and patted the one next to him, motioning Blaine to sit down. He did so, slinging his bag onto the table in front of him.

"You new Blaine?" said the girl with the jewish nose and dark hair. He opened his mouth to speak but Kurt spoke first.

"He's a junior" he said, leaning forward slightly and lowering his voice "from Dalton" the group laughed. Blaine wasn't entirely sure what was so funny. Catching the confused look on his face Kurt shrugged and began to explain. "Since we beat you at sectionals last year nobody seems to be able to take the Warblers seriously. I mean hell they're brilliant, you were brilliant" he added, nudging him with his shoulder "but the fact that we managed to pull it out of the bag seemed to confirm that we had no need to fear you guys." The laughter died out and Kurt turned to him again, spearing a piece of lettuce with his fork "I for one am pretty sure it was a close call, with someone like you at the helm I have no idea how we managed it" he chuckled and turned back to his salad. Blaine was a little taken aback.

He wasn't entirely sure, as he took out his own lunch, whether he was offended by the group's apparent lack of respect for his old peers, or amused. Or whether the fact that Kurt had once again complimented him…well things were a lot harder to sort out when your head was buzzing with delight. He cleared his throat and took a small bite of his sandwich, looking around the room absentmindedly. The rest of the table were deep in a debate as to whether multimedia was the way to go with this weeks Glee assignment. The jocks were laughing at one table, the cheerleaders at another. People laced between tables on their way from one place to another. The place was buzzing, and it was bizarre to Blaine's eyes. Having come from a school where practically everyone knew everyone, the concept of going your entire high school career only actually knowing about a fifth of the school's population blew his mind a little bit. And that's knowing people on the surface. There were the people you knew well, the people you knew, and the people you knew of. That made up a third of the fifth. Then there were the people that hated your guts. You knew about them, but you wouldn't want to be friends were them. The last fifth of the fifth was those people you wished you knew, or at least wished would acknowledge you. It seemed however, that Blaine had struck lucky in the fact that he had found Kurt so quickly. After a week, he was sure that this boy would have been one of the latter portion; being admired by Blaine from a distance and being the subject of his thoughts every time he had a free moment of time that wasn't taken up with work, or school or memories. And he had plenty of all three.

Blaine scratched at his forearm as he placed the crust of his sandwich back in the foil wrapping and made to enclose it again.

"er what are you doing?" came Kurt's voice. He paused

"what?"

"Leaving your crusts!"

"I don't know, I never eat the crusts…" he felt a flush creeping up his neck and he dipped his head in embarrassment.

"They're the best bits! And supposedly make your hair curlier, although that fact I never really believed" he waved his hand in dismissal

"I actually already have pretty curly hair" he saw Kurt Blink a couple of times in surprise and avoided his gaze. "It's the Italian in me" at that Kurt's eyebrow began to creep up his forehead. After a moment he seemed to realise that he was staring openly agape at Blaine and shook it off before turning back to his food, cheeks slightly pink. Blaine smiled to himself.

"Why do you err" Kurt cleared his throat "why do you gel it?"

"I guess I never really liked it" Blaine hated talking about himself like this. He didn't mind talking about his clothes, because they were his choice but he'd never really been happy with the way he looked so talking about that just made him cringe.

"Well I'm sure it looks fine" he popped the box containing his lunch closed and slipped it back into his bag, standing. "Where are you headed after lunch Blaine Warbler?" Blaine had to stretch his neck to look up at him. Like, okay he was tall.

"I have the afternoon off actually, I take an extra curricular Italian class outside of school so it replaces what I could be doing here"

"Lucky. I have French" he didn't seem too pleased.

"You not a language person?" Blaine understood – some people just weren't linguistic.

"Oh no! I can practically speak it fluently but that's the problem." He jerked his head in the direction of the door and Blaine stood to follow him out. Before they left the group the dark haired girl spoke up again

"Blaine!" she came skipping round the table – and that was literally the motion she made. Blaine froze. "Were you thinking of joining Glee? We could always do with more dark haired, vaguely Italian looking guys with gorgeous voices to back me up." She grinned up at him expectantly. He narrowed his eyebrows.

"erm, well isn't the point of glee that it's a group effort?" he heard gasps from the group behind him. The girl looked as if she had been slapped in the face. "What? I'm just stating a fact. It seems kind of pointless for one person to sing with backup right?" he looked up at Kurt innocently just to see that his lips were almost bursting in an effort to hold his laughter in. he nodded vigorously. "Yeah. But anyway, I don't think so. But thanks for the offer." He smiled at everyone and raised a hand in farewell before following Kurt out. As soon as they were in the corridor Kurt let out a cry of Mirth. He was practically bouncing too Blaine's confusion.

"Oh my God, Blaine, Oh my God I can't believe…Blaine you are wonderful" he turned in awe, shaking his head slightly.

"What did I do?" he was confused. Surely he had just been telling her what everyone else was thinking? He may not be the best communicator but he sure as hell wasn't going to go bullshitting people.

"That was _Rachel Berry._" Blaine felt his face burn and he groaned

"awr crap that was…oh my god what an idiot what chance with Glee do I have now" Kurt paused in his bouncing

"Wait…you were thinking about trying out for Glee?" he had his hands stuck out at his sides like a Disney princess.

"Well no I…maybe…" Kurt squeed and looked as if he was going to throw his arms around Blaine's neck but thankfully held himself back.

"Oh you have to let me help you choose a song" he clasped his hands in front of him with that puppy dog look on his face. As much as that face took Blaine places, his confidence was quickly receding at the idea of joining a group of people he hardly knew.

Friends weren't something he did. Not anymore. He swallowed and took hold of his bag strap before taking a half step away from Kurt and tuning his body.

"On second thoughts maybe…maybe I'll give it a miss. See you around Kurt" he smiled and turned to walk away.

"oh-okay. Yeah I guess so" he didn't turn to see if Kurt looked as crestfallen as he sounded. Blaine hated letting people down. But was also used to people having expectations he couldn't fill.

With a sigh he hitched his bag up his shoulder and made his way to the library.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**: so howdy folks! i realised a bit too late that i hadn't actually left an authors note on that previous chapter and so here is a slightly extended one with a bit more info as to where this story is going. first off, if anyone fancies regular updates as to where i am in writing you can fnd it at .com although i'm pretty sure the majority of readers are already coming from that direction anyway.

in terms of warnings, this fic is going to contain some Self harm, and just to pre warn you it may get graphic and i don't want anyone being triggered by it. i'll try and be as truthful as i can (i'm drawing from my own experiences with telling my friends about it etc) and i've rated it M for future Smut. i have a general idea where i'm going but you'll be helping me out as much as anyone with shoting ideas my way if you fancy!

anyway, thank you for reading and (hopefully) reviewing, and i hope you enjoy!

* * *

Shuffling along his bed, Blaine leant over and pulled out the shoebox he kept hidden under it. Rain pattered lightly on his windows which were covered in a set of pale blue curtains, keeping out the pale light sifting through the glass. For a Saturday afternoon he was fairly inactive. Normally a run would be the first thing on his list of things to do but for some reason he'd felt odd this morning, disjointed somehow. And for that very reason he had simply showered and gotten back into bed with his guitar.

The box sat in front of him was tattered and torn and covered in photographs. Some of musical geniuses and some of memories that made him ache somewhere in the heart region. He sighed and removed the lid, sifting through the paper inside and slipping out a couple of sheets from near the bottom of the pile. Placing them aside he slid the box back underneath his bed and slung his guitar across one knee; scrutinising the sheets in front of him. Slowly, he familiarised himself with the plucking pattern and began playing softly.

One of the joys of that short time between summer and when the weather began to deteriorate dramatically was the fact that his parents were out of the house on a pretty much daily basis, leaving him alone for days at time. Blaine didn't used to like this arrangement but as he grew, and things changed, life in the Anderson household became…tense. It was as if his father was constantly wound up like a spring ready to pounce on him every time the opportunity presented itself. "Your grades are dropping Blaine" "you spend too much time playing music than you should be" "is it a guy" that last one was normally the one to set Blaine off but what his parents saw was only the tip of the iceberg. Thing was, Blaine was quiet, kept to himself, gained most of his confidence on stage. When it came to being social…well he wasn't exactly a pro. Far from it - but when he was at Dalton, where he knew everyone and where he was accepted, things had been a lot easier. It was like being in a bubble, with that small group of friends that knew him so well, knew his quirks and his irritations. But one day somebody would come along and it was as if by them entering the bubble there wasn't enough room for him and so he was pushed right out. He would try, honestly try, but he just couldn't do it, couldn't summon the courage to dive in, to get to know someone. The eye contact thing didn't help either, as his father was always saying whenever Blaine spent one of his yelling sessions staring at his feet.

Another joy of being home alone of course: the short sleeves.

He heard the rain begin to pick up and paused in his ad lib, turning his head towards the window. The shadows of the raindrops skittered across the curtains, making varying patterns that changed every time the water hit the window. If only Blaine could be as changeable as the rain, maybe he'd be able to sort himself out. He turned back to his guitar but couldn't bring himself to touch the strings. He sighed, feeling a heavy weight on his chest. He placed his guitar against his nightstand and slipped off the bed towards the door. His socks made no sound as he slunk towards the stairs, sliding down the varnished banister to save the effort of walking. He relished in the cool air that hit him as he opened the fridge, crouching slightly with his hands on his thighs while he searched for something half decent to eat. And by half decent he meant something that didn't cost about fifty dollars. His family were very a la carte in their dining. He was about to reach in and remove some cheese when two hands grasping his waist had him standing bolt upright and walloping his head in the process. The resulting yelp of pain had the intruder bent double, wheezing

"what the-Cooper WHAT THE HELL?" he rubbed the sore spot on his head and threw the block of cheese he was holding at his wheezing brother to no effect as it landed a good foot to the right of him.

"That was classic little bro, classic…" Blaine froze. Shit, short sleeves. He turned back to fridge in a panic, heart racing as his hands ran over his arms. It seemed Cooper hadn't noticed anything thus far however but how the fuck was he going to get out of this one? His head snapped left to right until he spotted a hand towel on the bench to the side of him. he turned his head slightly to see that Cooper was busy untying his shoes before making a grab for the towel, shielding his forearms from view as he made his way past his brother and into the sitting room, spotting (luckily) a sweater he had left there the night before, slipping it around his shoulders quickly before his brother entered the room behind him.

"Hey where's my hug bro?" he held out his arms and Blaine rolled his eyes, stepping forward to embrace the taller guy. "the rents away again?" he asked as they pulled away, both falling into an armchair each, Blaine maybe sitting a bit more stiffly than he would normally have done. It wasn't his fault he was so tense, that was a fucking close call. Fucking Cooper.

"Yeah, Dad's in DC and Mom's got a dinner in Philly with some old work colleague" he waved his hand dismissively. "What are you doing here? No big break yeah huh?" he teased

"Hey! I'm the hottest commercial guy in the business, it's just taking a while for people to notice, and it's not my fault people are blinded by the ugliness and atrocities around them."

"So that's what it is. I personally don't understand it, your pointing is always so intense!" he mimicked his brother's latest commercial, sitting straight and pointing sternly across the room. His brother shot him a glare in response to his smirk.

"You all alone Blainers? No warblers about?"

"I'm not…wait" his eyebrows knitted together "did Mom and Dad not tell you I transferred?" from the look of confusion and shock on Cooper's face apparently not "I go to school in Lima now Coop." he spoke slowly, feeling a little uneasy

"What the fuck?" Cooper stood angrily, striding over to the window with his hands clasped behind his head. "I'm so tired of this shit. Did something happen at Dalton?" he turned, looking suddenly concerned. Blaine sighed, rubbing his arms and wishing he was anywhere but here having to explain this.

"No…well not really. You know what Mom and Dad are like about me being, y'know…" he jerked his head to emphasise his point "maybe they think public school will straighten me up." He shrugged.

"That's bullshit Blaine and you know it. What was their reason?"

"They didn't actually…" he trailed off, the realization hitting him that they hadn't actually given him a valid reason for his transfer. When faced with the threat of his father's wrath he hadn't dared argue when he had announced it. He frowned "they didn't give one" he stated softly, looking down at the floor, suddenly angry.

"Oh I knew they were bad; or that Dad was bad, I can't believe Mom would agree to this"

"She does whatever Dad says, you know that."

"But to stoop that low?" Cooper sank into the armchair again, looking ten years older as the weight of Blaine's suffering settled around him. He wiped a hand over his eyes as Blaine reached out and placed a hand comfortingly on his brother's knee.

"Don't stress. What's done is done. And it isn't that bad" he blushed slightly, dropping his chin as thoughts of one Kurt Hummel crossed his mind.

"Yeah well I'm still angry. When are they back?"

"Tuesday I think? I don't know I'll check the calendar." He stood and made his way to the kitchen "want something to eat?" he threw over his shoulder

"You making pasta?" he asked hopefully

"Of course" Blaine replied, grinning at the whoop from the lounge as he trailed his finger down the September page on the hanging wall calendar. The star drawn neatly into one of the boxes indicated that Blaine was in fact correct in his prediction. Cooper entered the room just as Blaine slid a pan off the wrack and filled it with water before chucking a few handfuls of pasta in and sticking it on the stove.

"Pesto Pasta a la Blaine?" asked cooper, slipping onto a chair at the breakfast bar.

"Would it be anything else?" he said, leaning against the work top as he let the water boil.

"soooooooooooo" his brother began "how is this new school of yours?"

"It's okay." He replied quietly "lot bigger than Dalton. Pretty scary. But there are fair few friendly people" he tried to hold back a smile as he remembered Kurt's soft hand in his when they first met, and Kurt trying to hold in his laughter when Blaine had blatantly insulted Rachel without even realising, and Kurt…just Kurt…

"Hellooooo?" his brothers voice brought him back from his Hummel induced reverie.

"Huh?"

"Blainers, you're blushing like a twelve year old. Hang on…" he began to smile, sitting back on his stool. "Has Blainers found a guy?" he looked as if all his dreams had come true. All Blaine could do in response was open his mouth and try to articulate a reply that would have gone a lot like _"no, I don't make friends Coop you know that"_ but all that really came out was some guttural sounds along with a few twitches of his shoulders and head. Cooper clapped his hands and leapt towards him, grabbing him in a bear hug before pulling back and slinging an arm around the younger boy's shoulders. "Ah, young love, tell me all about him."

Blaine was as red as a beet by now, his arms wrapped around his torso and head dipped in an attempt to hide his embarrassment. He mumbled something unintelligible and tried to turn back to his Pasta.

"What was that?" his brother asked. Blaine threw his arm from around his shoulders and turned to the pasta, watching the water boil for a moment before moving towards the cupboards to collect what he needed for his legendary sauce. "Come on little bro you ain't getting out of it that easily" he sidled back over to his seat, clasping his hands in front of him on the counter. "I wanna know who's getting my baby brother so flustered. Wait…he's not straight is he?" Blaine looked over to see his brow furrowed in worry. He rolled his eyes.

"No it's nothing like that" he took a breath and turned to chop up the fresh green beans before chucking them in with the pasta. "I don't know…his name is Kurt. He's a year above me."

"Keep going" Cooper prompted

"weeeeeell, he's tall and has the most amazing eyes, and he speaks fluent French. And he sings Coop, _Sings_"

"awr Blainers you got it bad."

"come on, I've known him for what, four days?" he arched his eyebrow, shaking his head and opening the fridge to remove the parmesan to grate "now stop being so nosy and come help me" his brother slipped off the chair and came to join him, pulling down the cheese grater from the cupboard and beginning to grate into a bowl.

"So you gonna make a move?" Blaine blushed again, watching the water boil away.

"Are you kidding me? He's way out of my league. To be fair I don't even know if he is gay." The fact hit him as the words slipped out of his mouth. He was pretty sure Kurt was but who was he to judge. Doubt clouded his mind for a moment before the timer he had set pinged telling him the pasta was ready. He speared a piece with a knife and blew on it before taking a bit to make sure it was soft. Humming softly he placed the knife down and drained the pasta into the sink before pouring in the contents of a tub of pesto and stirring gently. After a few minutes of comfortable silence, with the Pasta thoroughly Blainified with various spices they made their way back into the sitting room and sat with bowls sat in their laps on the window seat.

"mmmmmm" his brother crooned, closing his eyes after his first bite.

"Good?" Blaine asked

"Divine. Honestly I don't know how you do it" he sprinkled some more parmesan across the top of his meal.

They ate in silence until both bowls were empty and then moved back to the kitchen to clean up. Blaine could sense Cooper watching him as he placed the bowls and pan in the dishwasher and set it to rinse. When he looked up he saw that his brother was staring at him with a look akin to curiosity on his face.

"What?" he was suddenly nervous, tugging the sleeves of his sweater down over his hands.

"Are you sure you're okay with this Blaine? This transfer?"

"Yeah. I mean it's a bit difficult and I have to work around having Italian outside of school but it's no harder than Dalton."

"Yeah but Blaine I know what you are like around you know, new people and all. You'd tell someone if you were struggling right?" Blaine was touched at his brother's genuine concern. It was times like this that he really appreciated that he had a brother like Cooper. Yeah they had there fair share of arguments but Coop had been there when the rest of his family hadn't been. Blaine had spent three weeks living with him after he came out to his parents. His father had always had violent tendencies but what had gone down that night was nothing like Blaine had ever seen. And it scared him. He winced at the memory but then smiled weakly up at his brother.

"Of course" he said, resigned "you'll be the first to know."

"And if Dad tries anything again-"

"You'll be the first to know" Blaine interrupted "I promise"

"C'mere little bro" he folded Blaine into a hug, rubbing his back "I've missed you."

"I missed you too Coop"

"Now" he said, pulling back "how about we stick a box set on and sit up all night?"

"Now that may be the best thing to leave your mouth all afternoon"

* * *

Blaine woke to the sound of Cooper snoring loudly from across the room. He rubbed his eyes in an attempt to clear his sleep hazed vision, judging it to be near dawn from the silence surrounding the house. _The darkest hour comes just before the dawn._ He sat up; pushing the blanket he didn't remember draping himself in, off and sliding to his feet. He glanced over at his brother before he left the room, smiling at the way he was sprawled across the larger couch. He snaked his way through the house, stopping at the patio behind the kitchen, sliding the door open and stepping out into the morning air. It was still, almost humid. There was no noise, no distraction; just a slight hint of powder blue at the edge of the horizon. Blaine took a seat on the top step leading down onto the lawn, wrapping his arms around himself to keep the chill off. He took a deep breath, looking out over the garden and houses that lay beyond. Closing his eyes, he sat in thought.

Cooper was right, what his parents were doing was completely and utterly wrong. Dalton had been his home, his family. More of a family than his parents had ever been. Yes he had Cooper and yes he would go to his big brother if ever there was trouble but there were some things even his brother was un aware of. For years Blaine had felt like he was being tossed from place to place, never quite being able to find that niche that fit him snugly. It helped when he sang, when he wrote – that brought him a solace nothing else could but the simplicity of the matter was: Blaine simply didn't have a place he could call home anymore. He opened his eyes and turned back to the house looming behind him, nose wrinkling as he tried to picture it alongside the word. Somehow it just didn't fit. Home was supposed to be a place where he felt secure and warm and safe. His mind took him back to the night he had come out to his parents, the images swirling around his mind, his Mother sitting stiffly at the counter in shock, his father's hands shaking with rage. Blaine was used to his fathers usually alcohol induced rages but this time something was different and it scared the hell out of Blaine. He gasped out loud as the memory hit him full force and his throat tightened, hands balled tightly around the sweater at his waist. He heaved in a stuttered breath, shaking his head and willing the memory to disappear as he sank his fingers deeper into the fabric. After a moment the memory began to fade, taking with it Blaine's last restraint and resulting in a choked sob echoing across the dark grounds. He took deep breaths, loosening the grip on his sweater and instead grasping either side of his head in his hands. Slowly, he began to calm down, the tears coming more insistently than before.

He sensed rather than heard a presence behind him as Cooper slipped down to wrap his arms around Blaine.

"It's alright little Bro. we're going to get this sorted out" Blaine nodded into his brothers shoulder, his stomach sinking at the fact that little did everyone know, Blaine was much deeper than he was letting on.

* * *

"Kurt he was just rude"

"Oh come on Rachel he was just speaking the truth. Leave him alone. He's lovely."

"No, no Kurt he isn't he insulted me in front of the _entire_ Glee club"

"mhmm" he murmured, placing the phone on the bed next to him and moving towards the bathroom to begin his evening facial regime. Rachel would drone on for another fifteen minutes or so without much need for Kurt to say a word and would eventually just ring off without a goodbye from him. _Thank god she's so self centred she doesn't actually stop to see if I'm still listening. _

As he massaged the cream into his skin, he thought back over the last week. Classes were as normal as normal could be, although there was that edge beginning to settle upon everyone's minds. This was it for them, the home stretch. One more year and they would be gone, finished. Even after all the shit he had endured, all the bullying, the slushies…he knew that he only had a year left of that torment before he would be free. Of course his NYADA audition and this years Glee competitions still stood between him and that final goal but what was life without a little challenge. Kurt liked to challenge himself, even if it did mean losing most of the time. He was too ambitious for his own good. With both feet firmly planted on the ground however, he considered himself to be doing okay.

The New Directions were still sulking after their loss as nationals before the summer, pulling everyone's moods down to the lowest degree. The only person who was seemingly happy about it was Mr Shue. Said it gave them drive or something. _C'est typique. _

Saturday had come quicker than he had expected that first week, lessons whizzing by as if every minute lasted a second. The pile of homework sat with his bag on the floor near his bedroom door spoke enough of how much their workload had increased. This year wasn't going to be easy, unfortunately. One bright beacon shining out from the darkness of the last fourteen days however was one bow tie wearing junior sporting that sad smile and charming demeanour.

He paused in his moisturising, chuckling lightly as he remembered the way Blaine dipped his head every time Kurt complimented him, or the way his cheeks flashed red when he was embarrassed. Four days he had known the guy, and he was already getting to know his little quirks.

"Kurt!" his stepmother's voice drifted through the door. "Your Dad wants to speak to you!"

"On my way!" he called back, before splashing his face with water, dabbing it dry with a towel and flicking the headband off his head into the bag set beside the sink. He stood slowly, humming to himself as he dropped the bathrobe from his shoulder to reveal the grey sweats beneath. Kurt wasn't one for wearing sweats in public (fashion disaster) but he had to admit they were the comfiest way to relax. Beauty sleep didn't come easy to him nowadays and so being as chilled as possibly before hand was a secure way to ensure he drifted off nice and easily. Kurt picked up the phone quickly, holding it to his ear to confirm that the line was dead and then dropped it back to the bed. He slipped down the stairs, grimacing slightly. Talks with his father were never the most pleasant of things. He had a great relationship with him, sure, but it had always been tense. What father and son lived in complete harmony anyway?

Burt Hummel was sat in the living room, sipping on a beer and flicking through the channels with the remote. When he heard Kurt approach he turned, blackening the tv screen with the press of a button and placing the beer down gently on the side table. Kurt glared at him

"Dad"

"What?" Burt replied, looking bewildered

"You shouldn't be drinking so much of that stuff. It'll heighten your cholesterol and we all know what that means…" he perched on the couch opposite, clasping his hands in his lap stiffly.

"Oh leave off bud, it's a Saturday night. I wanted to talk to you"

"Well yes, that would obvious"

"haha smartass. I wanted to know how school was. I've hardly had a chance to talk to you this week" he seemed to be trying his hardest to look interested, leaning forward with his forearms resting on his thighs.

"School's…fine Dad. Just like normal. Why the sudden interest?" Kurt narrowed his eyes in suspicion.

"Just checking. What? Am I not allowed to be interested in my son's life?"

"Dad is this about Karofsky?" he wasted no time in getting to the point, if his Dad was intent on acting like this all year, he had another thing coming.

As predicted, his father blanched, stuttering and waving his hand in dismissal. Kurt rolled his eyes and had to hold back a sigh. That would only make things worse, he knew. To be honest, it was touching that his father cared. Before this stuff with Karofsky, Burt wouldn't have turned a second glance in the direction of his report cards, knowing his son would ace whatever was thrown at him. However, when things began to worsen and the school got involved, Burt finally began to realise how much of his son's life he had been missing. Apparently, he wasn't about to allow that to happen again.

"No…no I don't…of course not" he tried to laugh it off but Kurt saw straight through it. He fixed his father with an icy stare.

"Dad. Karofsky left, he's not going to bother me anymore." His gaze softened slightly. "I know you're worried, but I have Finn to look after me now remember? And Glee isn't exactly going to let me almost transfer again are they?" Burt laughed. "Honestly Dad. I'm fine. School's fine. Better than fine actually" his lip twitched at one corner as he remembered Blaine again. A slight blush began to creep up his neck. He cleared his throat, shaking Blaine from his thoughts.

"Alright, if you're sure" Kurt stood and tapped his father on the shoulder.

"I'm sure Dad. Is there any left over Pasta?"

"Yeah, Carol stuck it in the fridge."

"Okay" He stood there awkwardly for a moment, uneasy in the silence

"Well…good talk kiddo" Burt leant forward to pick up the remote.

"Goodnight dad" his father nodded in acknowledgment and turned his eyes to some game he had recorded a few days earlier. _Boys and their sport._


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N**: quick posting right? (i have the first few chapters already written so i'm putting them straight up!) again, any reviews are welcome and i'm free to answer questions whether related to the story or to my own experiences, so shoot me an ask over at tumblr! enjoy!

* * *

Sunday dawned brighter than the previous day, but it was Cooper's knock on the door that woke Blaine first thing. He nuzzled into his pillow, squeezing his eyes shut. He always slept on his stomach, one arms beneath the pillow and occasionally a knee hitched up beside him. this morning was no exception as he grunted and pushed himself onto his elbows to squint at the door. "whaizit?"

"Morning Blainers. Erm, I gotta head out of town for a few hours. You gonna be okay until tonight?" Blaine grunted again and fell back onto his pillow. "sweet, man, I'll catch you later" he listened to Cooper skip down the stairs and waited until the door slammed shut before pushing himself up into a sitting position again and rubbing his eyes. His skin was dry and rough from the crying he had done earlier that morning; lids stiff and slow to open. After a moment of sitting there staring at the floor Blaine slid his legs off the edge of the bed and pushed himself to his feet, only to fall back down onto the bed. He groaned, making it on the second attempt. The bathroom was his first port of call, the steam and hot water relaxing his limbs. How he could be this tense about ten minutes after waking up was anybody's guess. He stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around his waist before making his way downstairs for breakfast.

At the thought of pancakes his stomach grumbled. Blaine shushed it with a rub and then headed straight for the cupboard he knew encased everything he needed. He glanced at the clock while whisking the ingredients, frowning at how late he had stayed in bed. Then he reminded himself that he had been up at five am sobbing his heart out and then BAM. The thoughts hit him like a tonne of bricks. He paused in his whisking, shoulders slumped in resignation. He left the batter half made on the work top and moved towards the living room, grabbing the phone off the side table as he went. His fingers shook slightly as he dialled the all familiar number. It rang. And rang. And rang. He hung up and called again. Still no answer. After a second standing against the wall with his eyes clothes he chucked the phone onto the couch and bounded upstairs to get dressed. His hair was still damp and hanging around his face loosely. He didn't even bother styling it as usual in his hurry to get out of the house. His fingers found a dark blue pullover and dark wash jeans, not his usual style but it would do for what he needed. His feet found a pair of tattered converse poking out from underneath the bed and as soon as they were fit snugly inside, Blaine was off down the stairs again. His bike was propped up just inside the garage and he had no trouble manoeuvring it out and then he was peddling as hard as his legs would manage, trying his hardest to dispel the heaviness that seemed to have landed unexpectedly on his chest.

He rode. And rode. And rode. He rode until his breath was coming out in audible gasps and his legs had been working on anaerobic respiration long enough that he knew the moment he stepped off, he'd be knee down in the dirt. With this in mind he took a glance around, recognising the houses around him in confusion. He'd literally managed to cycle all the way out of town. He made a left, picturing the park he and Cooper used to visit when they were kids. After a minute of being back in reality his limbs began to lag and he found himself drooping as his legs began to slow and arms began to shake. After a hundred more metres the bike began to wobble and he managed to get his leg over just in time to save himself the embarrassment of falling sideways onto the concrete. He balanced himself and staggered over to the grass. Blaine dropped the bike outside the small gate and pushed himself inside, eyes not leaving the floor in front of him. He fell down onto a swing, thankful that the place was empty or he may be facing an interrogation from a six year old as to why he was shaking like an addict in withdrawal and breathing like his lungs would never feel oxygen again. Heat rolled off him in waves as he realized with a sinking heart, the humidity could only point to one thing. A few moments later, a flash and delayed roll of thunder crashed across his senses, confirming his suspicion. He groaned, running a hand through his hair and looking skyward as the first drops of rain began to fall. They fell heavily, and hard, soaking him in a matter of seconds. He didn't care, he let himself be drenched, hands draped loosely around the chains supporting him. He rocked back and forth lightly, basking in the numb feeling the rain brought. He'd come for a distraction right?

Blaine found himself counting. He counted the seconds between lightning and thunder; he counted the drops of rain to hit the toe of his shoe. He counted the flowers beginning to wilt on the grass ahead of him. He looked up and counted the houses surrounding the tiny park. After a time, he'd lost count of how many things he had counted, but the rain began to let up, just as his chest began to relax. He sighed as the sun peeked through the now much brighter looking clouds. He felt lighter than he had when he had left the house although the prospect of having to cycle who knows how far back home wasn't one he welcomed.

He stood, wobbling slightly as the ache began to set in. Maybe he would walk home. It wasn't midday yet, and it would hopefully only take him an hour at most. Or at least that was what he thought until he heard a loud, high laugh and froze in his tracks. He knew that laugh, he would know it anywhere. If he was buried in the depths of hell, that laugh would still bring knots to his stomach. _Awr crap. _He chanced a glance behind him to see the gaggle of teens meandering over, laughing and joking, luckily so far unaware of the presence they were heading towards.

He flicked his head from side to side; worry creeping slowly into his chest like a cold fog. He could no way try to escape on his bike; he'd go a few metres and fall right off, seeing as how his as of yet un-fuelled and weary body was acting now. He spotted a bench just outside the fence and made towards that, hoping the group would enter by the other gate and not notice him. Blaine slumped down gratefully, tuning into the approaching conversation. He could pick out at least three voices from the group, one that rang a bell, another that made him bite his lip in guilt and another that well…he didn't want to say what that voice did to him. They got close enough that Blaine could hear their footsteps and pick out a couple more voices before he heard the whine of a gate as it was pushed open and the shriek of the round about as it was pushed forcefully. Obviously this place wasn't often used. It seemed like a nice enough neighbourhood but telling by the cars parked in the driveways, this was the kind of place that kept kids under guard by nannies and tutors. A lot like Blaine's childhood really.

He sunk slightly in his seat, ears no longer straining to hear the chatter now being projected freely across the place.

"Oh hey, Puck; remember when you tried to get that thing over the bar?" the guy speaking was evidently holding back a laugh.

"One of my less…graceful moment's. You'll forgive my eight year old self. Mini Puck didn't have as much pazzaz as he does now"

"Oh please" came another voice, a girl. The roundabout shrieked again. Then came multiple shouts, a thump and a roar of laughter.

"Honest to god you guys are so immature" Blaine froze. His heart picked up double time, eyes widening as the immaculate voice continued. "One day, one of you will end up in hospital and then who'll be sorry. C'mere Sam" the sound of scuffling followed.

"Thanks man" a new voice, softer, not local. Blaine took a breath, found his mouth dry, choked on nothing and had to cough loudly to clear his throat. The group behind him fell silent. _Shit. _He didn't move, just sat there tensed as if to run, waiting for someone to say something, there was whispering and then, unluckily for him, a voice he did not want speaking to him at this moment in time came drifting over. A lot closer than he thought.

"Hey!" Blaine swallowed nervously; face already reddening as he turned in his seat.

"Kurt" his voice game out rough and wavering. God he looked like an absolute idiot. And his clothes. Oh god his clothes. Kurt's face fell in confusion for a moment and then lit up in a way that made Blaine's heart soar.

"Blaine!" he called, walking over to the fence and resting his hands on it. Blaine looked up at him, smiling faintly.

"Hey. What…what're you doing here?" he looked past Kurt to the rest of the Glee club who were staring curiously over. His eyes set finally upon Rachel who was glaring over with icy intent apparent in her stance.

"Mercedes lives a couple of streets away. We were down for our usual beginning of the year movie marathon. Then it began to rain and everyone wanted to come out into that post storm freshness" he rolled up onto his toes for a moment. "What about you? You here alone?" he asked, peering around.

"err yeah, my brother's out of town so I thought I'd have a run out on my bike." He motioned to the object in question laying dismally on its side a few metres away. He instantly regretted pointing it out. It was a wreck, rust peeling the pain away in areas. Faded and broken, just like him.

"Oh" Kurt looked over at the bike, before biting his lip and turning back to him. "Well we were gonna head out to breadsticks. It's an Italian place in Lima." He said in way of an explanation. "Fancy coming along?" he smiled hopefully but inside, Blaine felt like every organ in his body had sunk to the ground. Maybe if it had been just Kurt, maybe if he wouldn't have had to sit with half a dozen other people and actually try to make conversation he would have said yes. As it was…

He sighed. "Actually…I'd better be headed back. I…I'm sorry" he pushed himself to his feet and avoided Kurt's gaze. He did not need guilt right now.

"O...oh. Okay. No worries" his voice sounded damper and had Blaine groaning internally. Why couldn't he just be social for once? Stupid anxiety. He peeked up at Kurt through his hair, hoping to find him looking else where. Of course, no such luck. He met his piercing blue eyes with a look full of guilt. Attempted a smile. Failed. "But I'll see you tomorrow right?" his heart lifted slightly at the thought. Kurt sighed and nodded.

"Of course" he smiled, sending Blaine's heart hammering again. He pushed his hair out of his eyes as he made his way over to his bike, followed behind the fence by Kurt. He kicked his leg over the seat, flicking his hair out of his eyes again. This wasn't working.

"Hold on" he raised his hands dragged his hair back from his face and tied the top half up with a thin hair band he kept around his wrist at all times. It always came in handy at time like this. He looked back at Kurt who was looking thoroughly dumbstruck, mouth hanging open. Blaine's eyes widened and he touched his face self consciously. "What? Is there something on my face?" Kurt blinked a couple of times before shaking his head vigorously and closing his mouth.

"Err no, no not at all. I just…." He seemed as confused as Blaine was at his apparent loss of words. Blaine rubbed the back of his neck as a flush began to creep its way up towards his face.

"Well I err…better be going. I'll…see you tomorrow?" he placed his hands on the handle bars and made to push off. Kurt nodded and smiled faintly.

"Yeah, sure yeah" Blaine turned away and pushed off, trying not to fall off as pain encroached on his body with the strain from his journey to the park. He was about to turn a corner when a yell came from behind him.

"Blaine!"

He stopped and propped himself up on one leg looking back to see Kurt half out of the gate, clutching the metal bars tightly. He seemed to hesitate for a moment, during which Blaine held his breath. "I like your hair like that. You should wear it without gel more often!" that was it. He had no hope. He grinned, and raised a hand in farewell before pushing off again and trying even harder not to topple.

His legs were shaking, but this time not from the strain. He took a stuttered breath. Like the freshness following a storm. That was what Kurt Hummel was like.

* * *

Kurt stared after Blaine as he skirted round the corner and out of sight. He turned back to his friends, head drooped slightly as he bit his lip bashfully. What had made him say that he had no idea, but it was true. The way his hair fell across his eyes and bounced as he walked…Kurt found it hard trying to distinguish whether it was sexy or just god damned adorable. Either way he had no regret. Maybe he'd be spying a loose haired Blaine tomorrow morning. He made a side note to prepare himself, just so he didn't stand there staring at it in open awe like he had a few moments before. He couldn't help it, he'd just reached up and started scraping it back from his face, biceps flexing as he pulled and twisted at the band. He'd made a fool of himself, and he didn't want that happening again. Apparently Blaine seemed to balk under Kurt's scrutiny and he wanted to make him as comfortable as possibly. He wasn't blind; he could see that Blaine was always on edge. Maybe he could help that.

He looked up as he neared the group, stopping in his tracks at the look of shock and amusement on the faces of his school friends. A few people sniggered but Santana spoke first.

"Well, well, well Hummel." She smirked "what a lovely crush you have there" Kurt flushed instantly, looking back at the ground and fiddling with his fingers.

"I do not" he muttered "he's just a…friend, is all" most laughed at that but Rachel spoke up in a cold tone

"Well I don't think Kurt should be making friends with people who blatantly insult his classmates" he rolled his eyes.

"Oh get over yourself Rachel, you needed telling and Blaine was just doing what none of us have the nerve to do" he shrugged and went to walk past, stopping at the further gate and turning back to the see the group staring in awe after him "what? Are you guys coming or not?" Mercedes and Tina exchanged a glance and then made their way over, soon followed by the rest of the group, leaving Rachel stood there looking absolutely stunned. Kurt sighed again and began to skip across the grass, relishing in this new found confidence.

Today was a good day.

* * *

Blaine made it two streets before he had to stagger off his bike and flop down onto the sidewalk. After a moment of staring thoughtfully at the ground remembering Kurt's words he turned a grin into the crook of his elbow. _"I like your hair like that." _Kurt had actually said that. Those words had actually left his mouth. Blaine smothered a giggle and sucked his lips into this mouth. Trust this near enough stranger to turn a shit day into a marvellous one. He sat for a moment, picturing the way Kurt's eyes had shined as he smiled, the skin by his eyes crinkling adorably. He was quite possibly the cutest thing Blaine had ever set eyes on. And totally out of his league.

After that thought crossed his mind his mood plummeted, taking the smile and light airy feeling he had adopted and chucking them clean out of the window. He pushed himself up, dragging his feet as he grabbed his bike and began to walk it in the direction he had initially come. He tried to summon back the feeling of elation that had fuelled his legs after Kurt's compliment but to no avail. All that was left in its place was that sense of a tonne of lead pressing down on his shoulders. Well it had started off a bad day and god help him if the world wasn't going to make it stay that way. He sighed, eyelids drooping with weariness. He just wanted to get home and get out of clothes that still clung to him with moisture.

It took him little over two hours to reach home, not stopping once. He pushed his way into the house, not bothering to move his bike which he'd left abandoned on the front lawn. "Coop?" no answer. He sighed, dropping his keys in the bowl near the door and jogging up the stairs two at a time. His room was dark as he entered, light failing miserably to penetrate the curtains he'd left pulled over the windows this morning. He yanked the sweater over his head and chucked it towards the hamper before slipping out of his jeans and falling onto his bed on just his boxers. He lay there for a full ten minutes, just staring at the ceiling as his mind went blank.

It was days like this that frustrated him, days that started off terribly but then under unforeseen circumstances picked up. They gave him hope – hope that things were looking up. However, the rug would be pulled from under his feet and a few hours later he'd be back in that dark place again. That was why he had initially found it so hard to actually place a name on what was wrong with him. He was satisfied right? He a lot of things others didn't have; a nice house, a lot of freedom, good friends…it didn't seem like there was anything in the world that would make him feel like this.

But that was just it.

He didn't feel. Yes he had all of these things, but when he was laughing among friends, he wasn't truly enjoying himself. He would try to recall a joke he had laughed at and find that when he had, it had been the group laughing around him that had prompted his reaction. He hadn't found it funny, he hadn't carried on joking like the rest of them. He would just sit there and just…well…_be. _And if nothing else, that scared him. The fact that he felt no motivation any more was what first began to worry him. His entire life he had found something interesting in anything he had to do. It was the only thing that got him into Italian at first. He had been sceptical, but as soon as he listened in on his first conversation, discovering the beauty in the way it was spoken and expressed…it gave him a reason to use it. It was a language to woo.

He would have stayed there for another ten minutes most likely but the sound of the door clicking open alerted him of his brother's return. He blinked a couple of times, turning his head towards his slightly open door with a blank expression. His mind was telling him that he should get up and go say hi but his body refused to cooperate. Instead he turned his head back to the ceiling and resumed his numbness.

It was going to be a long night.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N**: okay this is the last of my pre written chapters so updates will be a bit slowler from now on in. as you can see this chapter is quite a bit longer than the last few and this will be the normal chapter length hopefully, once things get running. go read!

* * *

Kurt almost skipped into school the next morning, ignoring the sniggers surrounding him as he walked as fast as possible to Blaine's corridor as he had named it. He peaked round the corner first, scanning the gaggles of girls here and there. Honestly, why did they all stand grouped together like that, it wasn't exactly making his job any easier. He strained his eyes for where he knew the other boy's locker was located and squealed internally when he spotted him there. He stepped out, face falling a little when he noted the fact that Blaine's hair was yet again slicked back with gel. Or at least until he turned around. Kurt had to stifle a laugh as he sidled over, tapping Blaine on the shoulder again. The boy whipped round in shock, raising a hand as if to defend himself. Kurt was a bit taken aback but Blaine's face softened slightly as he recognised who it was.

"Hi"

"Hey" Blaine slumped forward again, looking defeated.

"I don't want to freak you out or anything, but you're having a bit of a hair situation back there" he rubbed the back of his own head suggestively and Blaine raised a hand to feel the hair that had evidentially escaped the clutches of whatever product he used on it. Cursing softly, he sighed angrily and grabbed his bag from his locker, ruffling through it. Kurt's brow contracted at the obvious flustered look adorning Blaine's entire body and the annoyance he seemed to have drawn from the fact that he made a silly mistake doing his hair this morning.

"Don't worry, we'll sort it out. It's a Monday, I'm sure you'll be forgiven" he reached out to pat the younger boy's arm but had it snatched from reach instantly as Blaine chucked his back into his locker and covered his eyes in exasperation. He dropped his hands and looked up at Kurt, grimacing in regret as he noticed the shocked look he was wearing.

"I'm sorry."

"Bad weekend?" Kurt offered.

"You have no idea." He muttered in response, patting at the hair sticking out behind his head. "This morning has been a disaster." Kurt smiled in understanding, knowing all too much how a bad morning to could affect the rest of the week.

"Come with me. We'll sort it out" Blaine snapped his locker shut, hitched his bag higher on his shoulder and then dropped his head as he made to follow Kurt. They walked a short distance, skirting around a few corners before entering a bathroom "this one is hardly used, too close to the choir room." He locked the door behind them both and dropped his bag near the closest sink, turning to Blaine with a thoughtful look on his face. "Now question is. What are we gonna do about this" Blaine stood awkwardly by the door, looking at the ground and holding himself around the middle self consciously. Kurt was going to get him to open up if it killed him. "Why don't you try and brush the rest of your hair out and we'll see what we can do after that?" the boy looked up, grimacing.

"That can only turn out disastrously."

"Oh come on, help me out" he dropped to one knee, fishing around in his leather messenger bag for something he could do fix Blaine's hair with.

"Hey….is that Calvin Klein?" Kurt's head snapped up

"Err yeah" he blushed "you know designers?"

"Are you kidding" he dropped his own bag and picked out a small notebook. He hesitated for a moment and then handed it over, Kurt took it with a curious expression as he began to flick through the pages. They were full of sketches – of everything. Suits, sportswear, swimwear. He looked up at Blaine in awe.

"Are these all yours?" he whispered. The other boy nodded, dropping his chin as he cheeks began to redden.

"I never…y'know, I don't think I'd ever make anything of it. I just like messing around" he talked quietly, not looking up from the floor.

"Blaine this stuff is awesome. Like, beyond amazing." He flipped over a page to find words in place of drawings. He read over the first few lines before he realised they were lyrics. "You write too?" he looked up, smiling, to see that Blaine was doing the complete opposite. His eyes widened in horror and he grabbed the notebook back and shoved it into his bag, standing quickly.

"Sorry, you weren't supposed to see that" he cleared his throat quickly. "Maybe I'll just head to homeroom" he made to exit but Kurt caught his arm.

"Nu-uh. We're sorting out your hair first" Blaine swallowed at the pressure of Kurt's fingers, trying even harder not to turn the colour of a strawberry. He felt himself being pulled over to the sinks, grimacing as he saw how haggard and drained he looked. Apparently concealer was going to creep back into his life by the look of those dark circles. He looked away from the mirror but found again, fingers forcing his head to face it.

"Hmmm…" Kurt bit his lip into the reflection next to Blaine's, and he really wished he wouldn't because that sound and the way his lips slid from between his teeth were doing things to Blaine. He cleared his throat again and a smile began to light up Kurt's face. "Okay. I have an idea. But you're going to have to trust me okay? Because it's going to look like I'm going crazy" Blaine sucked his lips into his mouth again and nodded warily. To be honest, anything to make his time with Kurt last longer was good in his books. And he really did need to sort his hair our. The older boy squealed. "YES! Okay stay there. How long ago did you do your hair?" he asked, dipping down into his bag and pulling out a small hand towel. "slushies" he added in way of an explanation at the look on the other boy's face. Blaine looked down at his watch.

"Erm, about a half hour ago"

"Oh even better. This should make things easier" with worry niggling in a dark corner of his mind he sighed and let Kurt get started on his hair, losing himself in his fingertips occasionally brushing his scalp and the concentrated look over his shoulder at their reflections. Honestly, if anyone else had pulled him into a bathroom and started rubbing away at his scalp he probably would have been out of there in a flash, but this was _Kurt_. And he was having a bad morning. And apparently Kurt cared that he was having a bad morning. And that made everything better.

"Okay, close your eyes for a sec" Blaine turned to face Kurt, narrowing his eyes in suspicion. This could turn pretty nasty pretty quickly, and as much as he liked the guy, he wasn't quite there with the trust. Kurt rolled his eyes "I'm not going to do anything, I do this with all of my makeovers" he gave Blaine a pointed look until his subject turned back to the mirror, grimacing as he closed his eyes slowly. "No peeking" he reached down into his bag and took out a pot of styling dust. He tipped the smallest amount onto his fingers and set to arraying the free part of Blaine's hair at the front into a jumble of messy spikes and curls. Then as gently as he could, without alerting the boy beneath his finger tips, he slid a light hair pin into place either side of his head. He stepped back then, grinning as he admired his handiwork. "Okay, look" he clapped his hands together, as Blaine opened one eyes and then the other, jaw dropping in shock. "d-do you like it?" the boy shook his head at first, causing the gleeful expression on Kurt's face to drop off instantly.

"No! no I love it! Honestly Kurt…I'm speechless" he turned back to the mirror, admiring the look from both sides. Kurt had somehow managed to keep most of his hair back from his face, but it looked almost…bed-heady. The front of his hair stuck up haphazardly. "Very…Edward Cullen-esque"

"That's what I was going for. Girls will be falling over each other to get at you now"

"Well that would be awkward" Blaine replied, turning and picking up his bag

"Why?" Kurt held his breath as he leant down and mimicked his companion. Okay did this mean what he thought it meant.

"I err…not really my type" Blaine avoided Kurt's gaze and he had to yet again hold in the squeal that threatened to erupt from his lips. He was gay. Actually gay. Like, not straight. Actually gay.

"Oh" he breathed, feeling suddenly elated. They both stood there awkwardly, the announcement hanging between them.

"Well…"

"Yeah"

"We should probably get to class" the younger boy glanced at his watch again.

"Hey" Kurt lifted his hand to point at a patch of skin exposed on his forearm. "What's-"

"oh, nothing erm" he quickly pulled the sleeve over his hand and turned for the door, unlocking it and looking back at Kurt, although not meeting his gaze. "I'll see you later"

"Yeah" he barely got chance to reply before the boy was gone. Well now he was more confused than ever. That bubbly feeling that had inflated inside him before popped suddenly, leaving him empty and confused.

If that had been what he thought it was…Blaine certainly did have a bad weekend.

* * *

Blaine almost ran into about seven people in his rush to get away from Kurt. That thought in itself seemed bizarre, but that had been another close call and he didn't know how many more he could deal with before his heart literally gave up under the stress. He hated hiding it, always had. And yet it had to be done. Blaine was nothing if not determined.

He stopped when he reached his first period class which happened to be English. Brilliant. He slid into a seat at the back of the classroom as usual, taking out a notepad and pen and losing himself in his doodles while their teacher droned on. Usually he would pay attention, but today he felt like doing nothing more but sitting in silence and thinking of nothing. When the bell rang, it shocked him out of his reverie. He reviewed the drawing quickly, sighing at the fact he'd drawn the same outfit he'd been drawing for days. The creativity seemed to have been sapped right out of him. He brushed his belongings off his table into his bag and took note of the assignment written on the board. More homework. Great.

Blaine exited the room as quickly as he could, dodging people in the quickly cramping corridor. He wasn't paying attention to where he was walking, bumping into people in his hurry to reach his next lesson. He made to move in one direction around a gaggle of girls and came into contact with a tall bloke he recognised from the park on Sunday morning. He tried too late to step around him but ended up falling backwards over his feet, sending his bag flying and himself sprawling across the tiled floor. He felt himself redden as pain blossomed across the bottom of his back as he hit the ground. "Fuck" he cursed, slightly bewildered as he looked around for his bag. He blinked a couple of times, hearing voices above him.

"Honestly Finn you're such a klutz" he looked up to a hand. Kurt Hummel's hand in fact. He took it gratefully, brushing himself off and groaning internally at the embarrassment he'd just caused himself. The tall guy who was apparently named Finn went over to retrieve his bag, looking apologetic.

"I'm sorry man. I didn't see you" Blaine grabbed his bag back, a bit more forcefully that he would usually have done. Well the guy _had_ just sent him flying.

"You okay?" Kurt asked, smiling slightly

"Fine" he replied, rubbing his back. He made a face as he rubbed his hand over a tender spot. Could this day get any worse? He looked up Kurt who was scrutinising him, looking worried.

"Come with me" much to his chagrin, Kurt grabbed his arm lightly and began to pull him along in the direction of the bathroom they had been in earlier that morning. He tried to protest, but it fell upon deaf ears. They passed the toilets and continued on a little further down the hall until they reached an empty room containing a piano and variety of other instruments. Kurt let go of his arm, turning and crossing his own. "Okay, what's going on?" Blaine stared around, dithering slightly.

"What do you mean" he shoved his hands into his pockets

"I mean you look miserable and have since Sunday" as touched as he was that Kurt seemed to care, he couldn't help but feel slightly taken aback. He had known the guy for a matter of days and he was already prying into his business? If anything, it irritated him.

"I don't know what you're talking about. It's been two days" he breathed

"Please don't make me be blatantly obvious" Kurt groaned.

"Nothing's wrong Kurt. Like I said, I just had a bad weekend." He was starting to get angry.

"Well yes that's obvious." He hesitated for a moment and then stepped closer. Blaine slid a foot back, turning himself halfway towards the door. "Give me your hand" Kurt sighed, holding out his own, palm up.

"wh-what?" the floor felt like it had been pulled from beneath his feet. He looked around, peering out into the corridors to see if anyone was around.

"Oh" Blaine turned back to Kurt to see his arms crossed back across his chest. "It's like that" he huffed out a sound of annoyance and moved past Blaine.

"Kurt what-" he started, thoroughly confused.

"You so scared of holding my hand innocently in public?" he scoffed and made to exit. Blaine warred with himself for a moment and then threw himself forward, coming in front of Kurt just before he left the room.

"Kurt that's not why I looked"

"Then why?" he stepped backward, towards the bench at the piano. Blaine struggled with himself, raising his hand to run it over his hair before remembering how it wasn't stuck to his head like usual.

So Kurt was here. He was here, caring about Blaine. He had helped him out when he was flustered earlier, been the first one to help him out when he fell. He seemed to be everywhere Blaine was. Ever since he had set eyes on the older boy that first day in the caf he had felt warm. And that feeling only grew the moment Kurt decided to come and say hello. Kurt had come and said hi to him. Kurt wanted to know him. Could he risk throwing that away?

Blaine was petrified. He'd known the guys for a week for heaven's sake, and here he was, tempted to spill his deepest secret. He thought back to his brother's words, feeling guilt twist in his stomach at the fact that Kurt may be the first person to know this, and not Cooper. His body moved of its own accord as he approached Kurt again, stoping about a metre away and pressing his hands together in front of him. Kurt looked worried and vaguely scared. They stood there for a minute in silence, while Blaine chewed over his words. He opened his mouth numerous times, closing it seconds later as he decided against it. His heart hammered in his chest and he fiddled with his fingers.

"Blaine…" he looked up to see Kurt looking worriedly into his face. "If you don't want to tell me I won't…"

"No. I want to I just…" he gazed around, eyes sweeping across various objects before landing on the acoustic guitar leaning on the stand in a corner of the room. He looked between it and Kurt; gesturing towards it "could I…sing? I mean, of course if you don't want me to I'll just…" he trailed off, looking uncomfortable.

"Blaine, do what you need to." He nodded and sat down on the bench. Blaine moved back and forth across the room and closed the two doors, before picking up the guitar and dragging a chair into the middle of the room. He set the guitar down against it, looking at the ground before he spoke.

"I…when I came out to my parents, my Dad didn't take it very well. And things were getting tough at school. Things had always been bad but…just…" he looked up, pleading with Kurt "d-don't freak out" his throat blocked up on the last word, making him swallow hard. Slowly, hands shaking, he reached down and pulled the cream sweater over his head, revealing the short sleeved green shirt he was wearing beneath. He kept his eyes closed as he balled it up over his hands. He heard a gasp, the sound jolting through his body like a bullet. He opened his eyes, not looking up at first but keeping his eyes trained firmly on the ground. He followed the floor with his gaze, finally stopping as they reached Kurt's shoes. Then ever so slowly, breath rate increasing, his eyes crept up Kurt's body to rest on his face.

The boy's hand was covering his mouth, the other clinging to the piano bench, knuckles white. Kurt's eyes were shining as his eyes roved over the scarring and scabbed skin covering his arms. He took in the shock and almost disgust on his face and all of a sudden something snapped inside him, he took a step backwards, knocking the guitar over in the process which clanged loudly as it hit the floor. He shoved his sweater bacl over his head, feeling for his bag.

"No Blaine, please don't go…"

"Just leave me alone. This was a mistake" he charged past Kurt, tears already threatening in his eyes as he felt him trying to grasp at his arms. He hissed in pain as Kurt grasped his forearm tightly. The older boy relinquished his grip instantly, stopping in his tracks. Blaine reached the door and yanked it open, turning back before he stepped out of sight

"Don't tell anyone." He shot in Kurt's direction before walking as fast as he could towards the school's entrance, holding back a sob as he hit the parking lot and throwing himself at full speed towards his chained up bike which he struggled to unlock with his vision hazed by tears.

* * *

_Cuts, those were cuts_. It was the only thing running through his mind as he followed Blaine out of the choir room, not bothering to try and catch up. If he had been expecting anything in the dark corners of his mind, it wasn't this. He was baffled, overwhelmed. Even after only knowing the guy for a week, he felt…pity. Kurt guessed that was the last thing Blaine would want and added it to the reasons he thought the boy had run out on him for. He scolded himself for reacting how he had; he must have looked completely disgusted. _I am a complete and utter idiot._

His legs moved as if they were being controlled by someone else, bringing him to his locker which he opened with trembling fingers. He looked over the books inside for a moment before slamming the door shut and making his way to the library instead of his next class. He certainly wasn't in the mood to concentrate and he knew he'd catch up. The room was almost empty, a few students here and there. Kurt took a seat at the back of the room, the bookcases in front of him blocking the door from view. Not that any teacher would come looking for him, but his friends might. Methodically, he pulled out his phone and lit up the screen, finding a text from Tina asking if he'd had any ideas on costumes for their next glee assignment (which, he noted with annoyance, hadn't even been given them yet) he was saved the trouble of relpying however, when the real thing came round the corner and dumped her back on his foot.

"OUCH!" he cried, gaining a few glares from students scattered around. He raised his hands in apology and turned to Tina, who looked as grumpy as Blaine had that morning. That thought yanked a heartstring, but he tried to push it from his mind as he turned to his friend. "What's up with you?" he muttered, taking out his notebook and opening up to where his English essay sat, half finished.

"Mike" she sighed, crossing her arms and leaning a little further back on the chair. Kurt rolled his eyes "I mean, his parents are being really awkward lately, I can't even go round there anymore."

He took out a pen and began writing away; pretty sure he wasn't even making any sense. Well he could correct it later. "jeez this chemistry is freaking killing me" Tina mimicked him, flipping between pages of notes. Kurt looked up, hit by a sudden thought.

"hey, you don't happen to be in class with Blaine Anderson do you?"

"erm yeah actually, we're lab partners. I was supposed to be meeting him this afternoon" she sounded bitter. Kurt dismissed the tone.

"Do you erm…have his number by any chance?" he tried to sound offhand, but the look Tina gave him said nothing but oh-hummel-i-see-right-through-you.

"Are you into him?" she asked, eyebrow arched.

"It's nothing like that" he said, a little angrily. She blinked a couple of times and then handed over the phone with his number displayed brightly upon it. He typed it into his own, pushing his things into his bag and passing Tina her phone back.

"Hey where you going?"

"I have something I need to do" he left her sat there bewildered, as he headed out towards the front of the school, hitting the call button as he did so. It rang seven times before going to voicemail _"hi, you've reached Blaine, I'm err probably busy but feel free to leave a message. Thanks!" _Kurt hung up before he heard the tone, dialling again and holding the phone to his ear. No answer. After a minute's frustrated calling he gave up, plonking down on the wall at the edge of the parking lot and resolving to text instead. He typed quickly, finger hovering over the send button for a moment before he steeled himself and hit it. He let out a shaky breath, checking his watch. It wasn't even lunch yet. Had shit seriously gone south in less than three hours?

* * *

Cooper had left the house in a hurry it seemed, as Blaine entered the kitchen. The washing up was sat out on the draining board (which was pretty useless Blaine thought, considering they had a dishwasher) unwashed, the worktop glistening with water where his brother had blatantly tried to wipe up after himself. Half of him wanted to scold the boy when he came home, and the other half wanted to thank him for leaving a distraction.

His phone buzzed in his back pocket, and confusion flitted across his face as he lit up the screen. Two missed calls and a message sat waiting for him. He mustn't have felt the calls in his hurry to get home. They were from a number he didn't recognise, he opened the message warily.

"_Hey, Blaine I'm sorry about before. Can we meet up? Kurt. _Blaine sighed. What had he gotten himself into now? He dropped onto a stool and typed out a reply.

"Kurt, it was mistake. I don't think we should talk about it. Blaine" after a moment panic hit him and he sent out another

"And please, don't tell anyone. B"

He waited a moment for a reply and sure enough the vibrations came a minute later

_"I feel bad; I just want to let you know you don't have to worry"_

_"And I won't tell anyone, I promise."_

"Can we just leave it at that?"

_"Blaine, you need to talk to someone about it. I don't mind if it's me."_

"Okay Kurt, I really don't think it's any of your business. Just drop it. I didn't ask you to care"

_"You don't have to ask me to care Blaine, I just…do okay? Please say we can meet up. It doesn't have to be soon. Just…sometime"_

Blaine sat there breathing heavily for a moment. Through the back and forth of their argument he had felt his heartbeat increasing. He really did want to be friends with Kurt, let him in but…_but what?_ He sat with his head bowed over his phone, reading the last message over and over. Another message came through, shocking him out of his reverie,

_"but if you really do want me to back off I will. But I won't stop caring about you Blaine"_

Blaine worried his bottom lip between hiss teeth before throwing caution to the wind and typing out a reply, sending it quickly

"Okay, we can talk. But not in school. You know the Lima Bean? it's a coffee shop. Could you meet me there this afternoon?" he thought It may be a bit forward to ask for a meeting so soon but he knew if he didn't have something to take him mind off things, he'd do something even more stupid than what he was planning. There was two minutes strained silence, then intermittent buzzing.

_"Sounds good. Take care of yourself Blaine"_

He left it at that, not really knowing what to reply. So now he had a coffee date _no not a date Blaine_ with Kurt Hummel where he was supposed to spill his deepest darkest secrets. _Brilliant._

* * *

Kurt of course, was very familiar with the location suggested by Blaine, having spent quite a bit of time there trying to escape his life the years before. This time however, walking through the sliding glass doors, it was with a sense of unease rather than a sigh of relief that he walked up to the counter to order his coffee. He glanced around as he waited, looking for any signs of the black haired youth. Nothing. The barista handed him his coffee with a smile (which Kurt did not return out of nerves) and made his way to a table in the middle of the room, hoping to make it look a little less hostile if he was sat in the middle of a room full of chattering people rather than a secluded corner.

He took a sip of the bitter liquid, relishing in the sting as it burnt a route to his stomach. The pain kept him grounded. It seemed so surreal, sitting here amidst gossiping people, getting on with their lives as if nothing was wrong. Well, of course nothing was wrong for them but Kurt often felt like when there was something bothering him it somehow radiated around him in a sort of haze. That was most likely due to the fact that when he was sad it just so happened that everyone around him was sad. Things just always worked out that way, but he had learned to brush it off. So sitting there at that moment, feeling completely isolated in his anxiety had his heart hurting like a bitch and mind whirring like a tornado. It was bewildering.

Kurt regarded the tables in front of him, picking up on the skitter of stray sugar as one lady tipped the sachet into her mug. It bugged the hell out of him. His foot began to tap involuntarily against the floor. He took another sip of coffee. The barista had taken out her phone, tapping out a message of some kind, looking thoroughly bored at the lack of customers demanding her attention. Kurt mimicked her, scrolling through his facebook feed. Finding nothing of interest that could be used as good gossip on his phone date with Rachel later, he slid it back into his pocket, patting his hair self consciously. He felt like he'd been stripped bare in the last hour or so. Neither of the boys had set a time for them to meet other than the vague "afternoon" so he could be sat here for an unmeasured length of time and that prospect prompted a deep sigh as he settled further into the seat, running a finger around the top of his mug.

After a full fifteen minutes of Kurt scrutinising every terrible fashion choice that walked through the door, a familiar face popped his head into the coffee shop. He sat a little straighter, watching Blaine make his way over to order his coffee and scan the room as he handed his money over. Kurt raised a hand and tried a smile, hoping he looked at least a tad optimistic. Blaine nodded in reply, smiling a little. What Kurt would do to be inside that boys head right now.

He watched the same barista that served him hand over Blaine's coffee, before he snaked his way over and slipped into the seat opposite.

"Hey!" Kurt smiled warmly, perking up. Even if this was going to be a hellish meeting, it was made a little better by the fact tat he was spending it with Blaine. Nothing could be bad with Blaine. _Wait, what? Focus hummel! _

"hi. Thanks for meeting me" he got in reply

"If I remember correctly it was me that wanted to meet you"

"Oh yeah, I guess so…" Blaine looked awkwardly down at his hands which he had covered in the sleeves of the sweater he was wearing. It was warm out, for that time of year anyway, and a pang of pity hit Kurt as he realised how often Blaine must have to suffer the heat in the name of keeping his secret hidden. He wasn't one for shorts and t shirts himself but the thought of not having that choice…needless to say the pity in his chest only grew although he figured that was the last thing the younger boy wanted. His mission right now was to make him feel as comfortable as possible.

"So…" he wasn't sure how to begin. How do you deal with situations like this? It was obvious that neither of them were fully comfortable discussing it, but that was why there were here. To discuss it. problematic. "I just want you to know Blaine, that if you want to leave at any time, you're free to" he studied the boys bowed face as he continued "you don't have to talk about this. I assumed that you wanted to seeing as you're here but if you feel uncomfortable talking about it then-"

"I'm not uncomfortable about it" Blaine spoke to the table "you're just the first one to know. Kinda has me a bit messed up. It's been a secret for so long"

"And if you want it to stay that way then you don't have to ask me twice. I know what it's like trying to…trying to hide pain" he took a deep breath and lifted the coffee to his lips, waiting for a response.

Blaine seemed to hesitate for a moment, fiddling with the spoon on the cups saucer.

"I don't really know what to say" he let out a humourless laugh, tipping his head to the side, eyes not leaving the cup in front of him. Kurt regarded him softly.

"start at the beginning. Just talk. Tell me how it all began."

"It's kind of a long story"

"Well we have all afternoon. Come on, spill"

"Alright…well I told you about my dad coming down on me hard when I came out. And that things had been tough for a while." Kurt nodded "well I sort of lied." He looked up to meet Kurt's eyes, caving at the confusion there and looking back at his hands. "Things had been a bad a long time before I came out. I mean" Blaine brought one arm up to rest on the table in front of him, waving his fingers around haphazardly "you think that everything's fine before you can't find a cause to feel so down. And then you think of why you shouldn't be so down all the time, and all the good things seem to outweigh the bad things but the problem is you see the good things as these huge bright shining lights that look a lot bigger than the bad things but that's because you're just trying to push the bad things out of your mind and then before you know it" he paused for breath, chewing his lip "everything just get's on top of you and you can't cope "he finished quietly, stilling his now shaking hand by picking up the mug in front of him and taking a large gulp.

Kurt had stayed still during his outburst, taking in everything Blaine was telling him like a sponge. A silence settled between them while Blaine tried to calm his breath and Kurt tried to gather his thoughts. He reached out a hand warily, touching his fingers to Blaine's sleeve. The other boy retracted his hand swiftly, eyes snapping up to his own. Kurt took a moment to admire the colour, honey with that slight hint of sage that was almost unnoticeable. In fact Kurt probably wouldn't have noticed it if it weren't for the intensity of the stare Blaine was giving him right now. Kurt's own narrowed slightly, in an expression of sympathy rather than suspicion. His fingers slid forward slowly to rest on Blaine's arm again, this time not prompting any movement. The moment passed when the younger boy took a stuttered breath, breaking his gaze to look back down at his hand, the one still resting in his lap. Kurt took his hand away slowly.

"And then…you know the rest" Blaine looked around. Determined to look anywhere but at the sympathetic expression on Kurt's face.

With than minor explanation Kurt could put the rest together. So it had been nothing big, no massive traumatic event that had somehow sent him spinning off the rails. It wasn't a phase or something he did for attention like so many people were so easy to assume. Not that Kurt hadn't been on the fence about his opinion, but then again he'd never been in this position before. It was easy to judge from the outside but when you're shoved into that spotlight it's hard not to sympathise. In the situation right now, it was easy to get why Blaine was doing what he was doing, even if he didn't fully understand the idea in general. He realised that the silence had stretched awkwardly as he had been thinking and that Blaine was probably readying himself for some kind of self scolding speech. He took another breath, sighing in resignation this time. He tried to talk carefully.

"Blaine, why did you never go to anyone before things got that bad?"

"It's not as simple as that" he murmured in a quiet voice, still avoiding his gaze. "it all seemed to happen so quickly, things went from okay to bad to terrible before I really had time to think about it"

"You had friends at Dalton right?"

"Yeah, I guess…"

"And you didn't think to talk to any of them?"

"God damn it Kurt I said it's not that simple" he slammed a hand down on the table hard enough to make both of their spoons rattle in their respective saucers. Kurt pulled back slightly, shocked. Blaine stared down at his hand for a moment, seemingly taken aback by his own behaviour. His shoulders visibly slumped and his hand slid limply back into his lap, the other rubbing over his eyes "so…sorry. It's just been a long day"

"We can stop if you want…" Kurt started

"No, it's…its fine. This has all just been…overwhelming" he rested an elbow on the table, fingers releasing the edge of his sweater. Kurt watched the sleeve slip down his arm a couple of inches and was struck by a sudden idea.

"Blaine? Could I…could I see them?" the younger boy looked up in confusion before his eyes followed Kurt's line of sight to the inch of skin exposed at his wrist. He pulled it back quickly, before looking around.

"Here?"

"No, we can get out of her if you want. I have an idea I want to try out. Finish your coffee." Kurt picked his own up and downed the remains.

"It's actually hot chocolate" Blaine laughed as he finished his own

"Hot chocolate kind of guy? I could never wean myself of caffeine long enough to enjoy the stuff"

"It's chocolate in liquid form, less calories, more yum"

"…more yum? Kurt sputtered as he reached behind him to pull his bag off the chair behind him. Blaine looked genuinely offended.

"leave my yum alone!"

"Alright Mr dapper pants" the both looked at each other for a moment before simultaneously bursting out laughing, drawing the attention of the entire shop.

"_Dapper pants_? Ser…seriously?" Blaine clutched his sides as he tried to speak normally. Kurt rolled his eyes in reply and then paused. Blaine was smiling, legitimately smiling. It made his heart swell. _There it was._

"Don't insult the verbal genius of Kurt Hummel. Remember what I did for you this morning."

"Alright, alright. Let's go" he pushed his chair back into place underneath the table and turned towards the door. Kurt stayed a couple of paces behind, observing the way that Blaine walked almost curled in on himself, hands folding over each other in front of him and shoulders pulled into his chest. He even walked as compactly as possible, as if trying to take up as little space as he could. Trying to make himself invisible.

They made their way quickly out of the shop and paused before stepping into the parking lot. Blaine turned awkwardly. "Where do you want to go?" Kurt thought for a moment.

"Follow me" he set off around the side of the building, the sound of dual footsteps assuring him of Blaine's presence. They reached a grassed area, sloping down towards the road. It was blocked from the view of the lot by the building itself and of course nobody on the road would stop long enough to see what they were doing. "This'll do." He settled down on the grass slowly, motioning Blaine over before digging deep in his bag for a permanent marker. He looked up at the younger boy, smiling reassuringly. "You don't have to do this if you don't want to." Blaine shook his head and took a breath before blinking a couple of times and pushing his sleeves up to the elbow. He regarded his forearms for a moment before holding them out shakily for Kurt to inspect.

Just like before, Kurt's heart fell to somewhere around his navel in pity. To his own surprise he felt his eyes begin to sting with unshed tears.

"Kurt…" Blaine started. Kurt shook his head furiously, ridding his eyes of the emotion gathered there. He reached out slowly and took Blaine's arms in his hands, resting then feather light across the marred skin.

He traced a few lined with his finger, seeing the scars here and there, some thicker and darker whilst other were barely noticeable. Then he turned his attention to the more recent wounds, some freshly scabbed, some not even that far healed. He looked up at Blaine to find his regarding his arms calmly, almost happily. A knot twisted in his stomach at the realization that this was Blaine's life. He faced this everyday, saw this everyday, and was reminded of this everyday.

"This…this weekend did you…?" Blaine nodded, running a finger over one of the fresher cuts, and then along another, and another…

"I was having a pretty bad day when I met you guys in the park. That's why I was there." Kurt's heart dropped even further than he thought possible. His friends had seemed so hostile.

"And had you then or..?"

"No. not until afterwards, when I got home."

"Blaine I'm so sorry"

"No! Don't apologise, it wasn't your fault. I was just having a shitty day." Kurt inhaled and went to pick up the pen he'd discarded next to him earlier. He took Blaine right arm in his hand softly and turned it so the inside of his wrist was showing. His grimaced at the amount of fresh cuts scattered across the boy's skin. How bad had things been on Sunday? He pulled the lid off the marker with his teeth and started writing on Blaine's skin

"what…what're you doing?"

"shh. Just wait" Kurt whispered, moving to his other arm and beginning to scribble again. When he was done he popped the cap back onto the pen and dropped it into his bag. "There" he watch Blaine twist his arms this way and that, deciphering the words. Once he had, he smiled. "It's my number on your left arm and that's Latin on your right. It means-"

"noli illegitimi carborundum. Don't let the bastards grind you down."

"Yeah…now if you even feel like you want to …you know…call me. And if you don't feel like doing that just read what it says on your other arm. Or the other way around." He hesitated for a moment and then leaned over and wrapped his arms around Blaine's neck. The other boy tensed for a second and remained that way for so long Kurt was about to pull back but finally his hands relaxed into splayed shaped on his back and his face sank a little into Kurt's shoulder. When he did pull back he was overwhelmed by Blaine. His scent, his feel…everything. He laughed awkwardly, a flush creeping up his neck. "I guess we erm…better get going."

"yeah…I guess…and you do realise I already have your number from before right?" they both stood, Blaine offering a now yet again covered hand to Kurt to help him up.

"Well yeah, but this way is less stalkerish and much more sentimental"

They walked back to the parking lot in comfortable silence, each boy's heads filled to the brim with the essence of the other.

"That's me" he pointed out his navigator. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow?" Blaine was looking at the ground. Apparently far away in thought. "Hey…blaine?" he touched the other's wrist.

"Huh? Yeah, oh yeah of course."

"Try to get that gel right tomorrow; I don't help charity cases everyday." The smile slid from his companions face slowly and he scrunched his face together, looking away.

"Listen Kurt…could we like, maybe just forget this happened? I mean you know now and I trust that you won't tell anyone. But I just want things to be normal." Kurt huffed a sigh and rolled his eyes, clutching his bag strap with both hands.

"Of course, I wouldn't want it any other way. And call me if you need me alright?" Blaine nodded and Kurt began to walk towards his car. He reached the door and raised a hand in farewell "bye Mr dapper pants" that elicited a smile. Well, he'd done one thing right today if nothing else.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N**: so there's a bit to say about this chapter. here a character named Elwy is introduced, and he's Welsh so to explain some terms. _Taid_ means grandfather, _chavs_ are basically the word we use to describe no gooders, _Snowdonia_ is a mountain range in Worth Wales and it's one of my favourite places on the planet. there may also be some Welsh coming up in future chapters (i'm not fluent myself but i know enough for phrases here and there) but stick them in google translate and you're sorted. Denbighshire is my home County and i'm basing Elwy in the mid county City (it's a city now YAY!) St. Asaph. go google it, it's a gorgeous place.

also i guess i should add a discalimer: unfortunately i do not lay claim to any characters used thus far or in future chapters. and that kinda sucks.

go read!

* * *

If Blaine could sit and read for the rest of his life he would be content. If he could sit and strum his guitar for the rest of his life he would be content. If he could sit and something completely and wonderfully mindless and comfortable for the rest of his life he would. As it was…

He tore his eyes from the essay was attempting to write, blinking a few times to try and clear the glaze settling on his sight. His mind felt as if it were full of smoke, every time he gave his head a shake it just whirled things around a little more. Despite the tonne of coffee he had drunk in the past two hours, he'd gotten through about a fifth of the week's assignments and was already lagging. It just wasn't happening. He dropped his pen on the paper in front of him and leant back against his headboard, sighing deeply.

Blaine hadn't been able to think straight since his encounter with Kurt. It had been a week since then. A long drawn out week. Honestly, if the rest of his time McKinley was going to drag as this week had he had no hope.

The mouth watering scent of something delicious came wafting up through his half open door, warm and familiar, and by the way it coaught in his throat, probably Mexican. His nose twitched, lips pulling up at the corners. It was just him and Coop in the house at that moment, his brother obviously downstairs cooking something divine and himself upstairs attempting to make a hole in his humungous pile of homework. He looked down at his paper again, grimacing at how little he had written. Oh well, he could try again tomorrow. Maybe he'd even head to the library and try and knuckle down. He moved his things to his dresser and slipped on a pair of blue fluffy slipper socks (that in his brother's opinion, made his feet look like the cookie monsters) and left the room, sliding down the wide varnished banister as usual to save energy. When it came to it, Blaine was pretty lazy at heart.

He was correct in his assumption; Cooper was stirring a big pile of chicken smothered in spice around a wok.

"Fajita's little bro?" he said without turning from the stove. Blaine hummed in reply, slipping onto a stool at the breakfast bar. "If Dad gets in early he'll have to get his own. I ain't doing shit for that man" Blaine groaned.

"Coop seriously it's not that big a deal. I like McKinley, honestly" well it was semi true. He did like McKinley. Maybe Kurt had something to do with that.

"That's not the point Blainers" he tapped the wooden spatula on the side of the pan and grabbed a handful of chopped peppers, chucking then in and flipping the mixture carefully. "The point is: he didn't ask you if it was okay. He's gone too long thinking he can make decisions on our behalf" he paused for a second, staring icily at the wall in front of him. Blaine inhaled deeply.

"I know you're still sore about-"

"Sore?" his brother snorted "Blaine he forced me out of acting school. He's the reason I had all that financial trouble. You think I'd be struggling as much as I am now if he hadn't forced me into a stupid fucking teaching degree?" he carried on cooking, throwing things into the wok a little more forcefully than was intended.

"But you guys made up right?"

"We made up because Mom made us make up. We made up because he decided he couldn't control what I did with my life. I'm not going to let him do the same to you as well Blaine. Not a chance. Grab some plates." He took the wok off the stove as Blaine moved to grab a couple of plates. "The fact that he's three days late in getting home is enough proof that he doesn't give a rat's ass about what we do anymore."

"He said it was unavoidable."

"Did he?" his brother asked, sceptical.

"Well his secretary did" Blaine muttered. His brother had a point.

"Exactly. He couldn't even call himself. Should speak for itself" he shook the chicken and veg into a bowl and moved that and the plate of tortilla wraps over to the dining table. Blaine placed down the plates he had grabbed from the cupboard…just as the door slammed. Both boys exchanged a surprised look and Cooper wiped his hands on a damp cloth before moving around to the kitchens wide entrance.

And in walked Mr Christian Anderson.

Cooper stiffened instantly, hands balling into fists at his side. Blaine swallowed. There was a moment of confusion on both men's parts as their father tried a smile and failed miserably. Cooper inhaled deeply, smiled brightly and held out his arms. "Dad! Hey!" Mr Anderson placed his briefcase down on the floor and moved forward to give his eldest son one of the most awkward hugs Blaine had ever witnessed. And that was saying something seeing as neither of them had gotten along for a fair few years now. He had to force himself not to physically cringe. Blaine stepped forward just as the men pulled away. Silence fell.

"Erm, I'm sorry we didn't make enough food we didn't think you would be home" he said, barely more than a whisper. His father replied in a barely disguised icy tone.

"Not a problem. I ate on the plane over. I was intending on heading straight up to bed. Your mother not home yet?" he didn't even turn his eyes in his younger son's direction as he strode back into the hallway and hung his black knee length coat up on a hook by the door. Blaine glanced at Cooper who was staring down at the floor, unmoving. He raised a hand and touched his brother's arm, waking him up from his daze.

"Erm no, she said there was a delay on the flight and her friend said she could stay a couple extra nights to save the trouble of waiting around." At least their mother had called them herself. It seemed they weren't the only ones avoiding Mr Anderson by the way she talked.

As if he thought nothing amiss, the man came sauntering back into the kitchen and paused when he saw how stiffly both boys stood.

"Something the matter boys?" he tacked a laugh onto the end but his face soon fell at the look of anger on Coopers face.

"Actually there is" the older boy stepped backwards and leant his elbows behind him onto the breakfast bar. "Why did you make Blaine transfer?" A faint glimpse of panic flashed across his father face, and it didn't go amiss by Blaine, who wasn't sure whether he wanted to be here or not. His father shrugged.

"It's easier. Blaine will do well wherever he is. No point paying for something he doesn't need."

"And that's the only reason?" Cooper quipped quickly.

"I can't remember any other motivation no. Now if you'll excuse me" he turned to leave but Cooper barked a laugh and brought him back.

"Always the coward to back out of an argument. Nothing's changed has it" the look of sheer disbelief on Cooper's face seemed to trigger something in their father. He stood his ground.

"I don't know what you're on making accusations-"

"Who said I'm making accusations, huh?"

"I will not have you talk to me like that young man"

"Well then own up! Why did you make Blaine transfer? From what I know he was fine at Dalton"

"Just drop it Cooper. I'm warning you" the tension in the air was tangible, both men stood braced a few metres apart. Blaine watched on, silently.

"Warning me against what _Dad_?" the room went silent as each of them acknowledged just what Mr Anderson had been implying. Blaine began to scratch at his forearm, flashbacks of various similar arguments pounding through his mind one after the other.

"Stop, Cooper. Just stop" there was a quiet insistence in his fathers voice that demanded authority. However it seemed Cooper was beyond caring. Blaine began to step backwards in an attempt to slide out of the scene unnoticed but Cooper chose that moment to turn and beckon him forward. He gulped again.

"You can't threaten us anymore. If you do I'm taking Blaine out of here" he said it with a stern and steady voice.

"You're not taking him anywhere" his father intoned.

"You think your threats can stop me? Nu uh dad I'm not sixteen anymore. I won't let you hurt me and I won't let you hurt Blaine. Now tell me why you sent Blaine to public school or we are leaving right now." Blaine stepped up behind his brother, heart pounding at the look of rage on his father's face. Things could turn pretty nasty pretty quickly if this wsn't resolved within the next few minutes. Knowing their father however, that wasn't going to happen; fear began to bubble up in Blaine's stomach. He continued to scratch at his forearm

"I have told you my reasons. There is nothing more to it. Now I'm going upstairs. I'm not finishing this conversation. Goodnight." Cooper scoffed and threw his hand up frustration as their father fixed him with one last stern glance, eyes meeting Blaine's swiftly before he turned on his heel and made his way upstairs.

"Coop…" Blaine murmured, laying a hand on his brothers shoulder "he's being a douche just drop it. Let's eat" he steered the older boy towards the table and sat down in his own place. His brother deliberated for a second, and then fell down into the chair, resigned. After a couple of minutes silence, in which they both considered what had been said Cooper spoke up.

"I'm so done with his bullshit Blaine. So done."

"I know. But I'll be out of here in a couple o' years. Then you won't have to worry"

"He can do an awful lot in a couple of years Blaine, and you know It." he sighed around a mouthful of fajita. Blaine chewed his lip thoughtfully. "You know… I meant what I said" he looked up to meet his brother's soft gaze "you could come and live with me." Blaine smiled.

"And how exactly would I get to school Coop?" his brother sat thinking and chewing for a moment and then placed his fork down.

"I'll move down here" Blaine almost choked.

"No, no way Coop. I'm not pulling you away from LA for something I've been dealing with for years. No way"

"No look. I'm not really getting anywhere am I?" he sat a bit further forward in his seat "You said so yourself. I could get a job down here, maybe a teaching job and you could come live with me." He was actually being serious. Blaine was stunned.

"…seriously?" he asked

"Seriously"

"I don't know…"

"Let's just see how the next few days go alright and then we'll see" Blaine nodded and went back to wrapping his fajita. What a remarkable turn of events.

* * *

The week had passed with dreary contemplation on Kurt's part. Surely he should feel lighter, accomplished in what he had done? Apparently not. In fact, since the incident with Blaine his heart had felt heavy in his chest, his emotions implacable and his mind a whir of worry.

He and Blaine sat and ate lunch together every day. Most days they sat in comfortable silence. Kurt would ask how he was, Blaine would answer. Blaine would return the question; Kurt would answer and then they would settle into eating without comment. He didn't mind of course, but he'd wanted to get to know Blaine and all he seemed to have discovered was that the boy was far more fragile than he had first thought. The shyness maybe wasn't just a product of moving from such a small school. It was an act of self defence. And Kurt knew. Kurt knew it every well.

Maybe it was the look on Blaine's face every time Kurt sneaked a glance when the other boy was unawares. The way his shoulder had continued to droop. The smile that lit up his face, only to disappear entirely the moment Kurt turned away. It was extremely disheartening.

He'd texted the guy a few times, only short conversations, nothing they hadn't talked about face to face, just the general. In a way it was infuriating. The school load didn't help either. Three weeks in and he was already burdened with a pile so big he didn't think a bulldozer would be able to plough through it. He was up past midnight every night, and the lack of sleep out of worry and stress was beginning to show. He had woken one morning, drooling onto a half finished equation for Math and not even bothered to do his morning facial routine as he fell into the shower, and stumbled through the door with a haggard look and a flask full of coffee, hair falling limply across his face. Luckily he was an eager student and had time to fix himself up before the majority of his peers appeared at the doors of the high school. He may be struggling, but he wasn't going to let it show. He was good at that.

However, with the insomnia setting in, the insecurities began to creep back into his life.

For instance, instead of his quick retorts to the various jocks who apparently didn't appreciate good fashion sense, he just ducked his head and walked on by, chancing glances in windows as he passed only to grit his teeth and keep moving. He would never go as far as to change his image but the temptation had always been there. There were many things that Kurt Hummel didn't like about himself, and it seemed in an attempt to help Blaine, his own self esteem was slipping.

That, hopefully, is about to change he thought as he thundered down the stairs and threw the door open with a grin.

"ELWY!" he threw himself into the visitors arms with a squeal of glee. The other boy laughed, so familiar and warm.

"Kurt" came his muffled reply "please don't kill me"

"Sorry!" Kurt stepped back and regarded his friend. "You got taller" he acknowledged.

"No, you just got shorter" the Welsh accent dripped heavily from his words. The over large glasses, the beanie from under whish unruly hair spilled unceremoniously. It was all so Elwy. Burt appeared at Kurt's elbow, also grinning. "Mr. Hummel!" the other boy exclaimed, reaching out a hand "it's good to see you!"

"How many times Elwy, it's Burt!" he shook the boy's hand.

"One more time at least. The rents say hi, they'll be round later, just settling into the hotel." Kurt grinned, unable to keep the joy from bubbling up over his lips. He grabbed Elwy and pulled him into the house and up the stairs to his room. "I cannot believe you're here urgh this is going to be such a good year I can feel it" they both fell down onto his bed, Elwy pulling off his coat and dropping it onto the floor, also removing his hat and letting his hair fall across his face. Kurt grimaced "I see you haven't done anything with your hair since we last saw you"

"Leave the hair alone. I'll have you know it's a great one with the ladies back home. I got the best looking hair in Denbighshire."

"Yeah, I'm sure" Kurt rolled his eyes.

Elwy was a very old friend of Kurt's. Four years ago, Mr and Mrs. Williams had turned up on their doorstep, a thirteen year old Elwy in tow. They were new in the neighbourhood, just wanting to make friends. Elwy and Kurt had been shy around each other at first, but it wasn't soon after an incident involving a burst fuse on the microwave and a very shocked and blackened Elwy that they really hit it off. The family hadn't actually stayed for long, about a year or so, but in that time the two boys became as thick as thieves. Elwy was the first person Kurt had ever come out to, and in response that other boy had replied "yeah, I have a confession too. I'm sexually attracted to Han Solo" and from that point onwards they vowed never to lose touch.

And they hadn't. Kurt had even spent a month over in North Wales last summer, relishing in the British weather. However, no matter how beautiful Snowdonia was, it didn't make up for the chavs.

Elwy was lucky enough to be chosen as one of four winners from the UK to come over and study for a year on US soil. It meant him re-sitting his A levels (yeah, Kurt had no idea about the UK schooling system) but it also opened a hell of a lot of opportunities. And Elwy was seriously considering studying at a college in the states anyway. He was staying with a host family along with the three other winners, and would be attending McKinley with him until the end of the year. Then he was set to spend a month here with Kurt and then he was headed back to Wales until he figured University out.

"You're welcome here any time. Have you met your host family yet?" the other boy nodded, glancing around.

"I like this room. It's a lot lighter than the basement."

"We needed the space with…ah; here he is" Finn came trundling up the stairs and poked his head into the room "Finn, you know Elwy"

"You can call me El seeing as you won't be pushing me into any more lockers. hopefully" he held his hand out for Finn to shake. The taller boy smiled guiltily.

"yeah I'm sorry about that man. Those were some darker days." Kurt face palmed, but Elwy just laughed "where were you from again?"

"I'm erm, from Wales. I'm Welsh"

"What, is that in England?" Kurt snorted.

"Careful there Hudson"

Elwy rolled his eyes in a good humoured sort of way. "No, it's next to it. But still in the UK. We have our own language and everything" Finn stared at him in awe. Kurt had to hold back a laugh.

"Wow dude do you speak it?"

"ydw" he replied and then added "that means Yes" Finn's face lit up with comprehension. He turned to Kurt

"Puck's coming over for a Halo tournament. You can join if you want"

"I'm good" Kurt replied

"Cool man, see you later" he nodded towards Elwy and then exited the room, pulling the door closed behind him.

"Halo?" the Welsh boy queried. Kurt slapped his arm lightly.

"Shut up. It was never as good as Battlefront."

"Nothing's as good as Battlefront. I'll take the 501st any day"

"Coming from the same guy who told me he was sexually attracted to Han Solo"

"Oh come on its Harrison ford! Tell me you wouldn't?"

"Okay I see your point"

"I knew you would!" both boys grinned at each other. Kurt heaved a sigh and then leaned forward and wrapped his arms around the other boy. "I've missed you so much. Skype just isn't the same as having my nerd here with me"

"I know, I know. Well I'm here now. Anything interesting happen since the beginning of the year and now?"

"Not really. Rachel is just as much a diva"

"As per"

"But her fashion sense is much better now I'm at the helm of her wardrobe"

"I was actually wondering about that" Kurt arched an eyebrow, the beginnings of a smile beginning to show.

"Oh?"

"I just thought, seeing as I'm here in the US now, I could maybe mix things up a bit. Start anew if you get me" he bent down and rummaged around his bag before pulling out something shiny and silver. Kurt squealed.

"…is that what I think it is?" he was practically jumping up and down in his seat.

"As part of the competition" Elwy started "we each get two grand to spend on anything we liked. The rents are keeping me supplied with money throughout the year; God knows they're rolling in it since my Taid passed. Soooo" he held up the card "I'm free to spend as much as I want as soon as I want"

"NO FREAKING WAY!" Kurt snatched the card from Elwy's hand and kissed it "does this mean you're giving me permission to give you a make over?"

Elwy seemed to hesitate for a moment before closing his eyes and letting out a breathed "yes" Kurt threw his arms around the other boy

"THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! Urgh we have to get to the mall asap, you need a new outfit for Monday and then I'll take you across town and we'll get your hair sorted, and oh my god-"

"Alright" Elwy snatched the card back and placed it carefully back in his wallet. "I'm free tomorrow. You can spend all day on me. So" he continued, swiping the hair out of his face and falling down onto his back. "how's everyone else at McKinley? Mercedes still crushing on you?" he said with a snort. Kurt hit him with a pillow.

"No, of course not. I think she's with Sam, they had a bit of a thing over the summer."

"Sam…?" Elwy questioned

"New guy last year. Tall, blonde, kinda hot."

"Ah. What about Tina? Artie?"

"Were a thing for a bit but then they broke up."

"Right. So it's just as crazy as ever"

"Honestly you should come join Glee! You sound awesome and we could do with some raspy singer songwriter flare in the mix." Kurt pushed out his bottom lip.

"Maybe. But more to the point, what about you?

"What about me?"

"How's your love life going?" Kurt's heart jumped into his throat. He chewed his lip. Should he tell him about Blaine? He wouldn't go into details of course, but Elwy was his right hand man, he knew everything. He'd feel wrong keeping it from him.

"Erm, well there's this guy…" Elwy threw his hand in the air in triumph, just as Kurt's phone buzzed on the nightstand. He rolled his eyes and turned his phone over. It was a text from Blaine "speak of the devil…" Elwy leant forward to read over his shoulder.

_"hey, I was wondering if I could call you?" _

Kurt's brow furrowed. Elwy was speaking to him but he wasn't really listening. He was typing out a response as he turned back to his friend "hey, sorry I have to take this. I'll be back in a sec" he smiled as well as he could in his panic and moved into the corridor, closing his bedroom door behind him to keep out prying ears. He took a breath and waited. Seconds later his phone was ringing in his hand.

"Hey, Blaine, what's up?"

* * *

Blaine was shaking as he dialled Kurt's number after the other boys reply had come through, pacing around his bedroom. The memories of his father's violence that had come flooding through his mind during the altercation earlier hadn't stopped at dinner, but somehow he had found his phone in hand on his way to doing something stupid. And so he had sent Kurt a text. Even with all the hoping, he was still surprised when he received a reply almost instantly. He held the phone to his ear, running his other hand through his gel free hair. It rang twice before Kurt's voice came drifting through the receiver.

_"Hey, Blaine, What's up?"_ it was only then that he realised he didn't have a clue what he was actually planning on saying,

"I-I-I just" he stuttered, breath picking up as he tried to ward off a panic attack.

_"Blaine, tell me what happened"_

"Dad and coop had an…argument and I don't know I'm just panicking and I didn't want to do something stupid and-"

_"Okay whoa okay calm down, take some breaths. Follow me. In and out. In and out_" Blaine followed his instructions, standing stock still in the middle of the room. _"Okay good. Where are you right now?"_

"My room"

_"You're on your own?_

"Yeah"

_"Go open a window and sit by it. Cool down a bit"_ he did as he was told, pushing his bedroom open as far it would go and perching on the edge of the frame. The night sky was clear, stars popping brilliantly against a charcoal backdrop. He breathed deeply. _"Better?"_ Kurt asked on the other end of the line. He was about to reply, but when he opened his mouth he found his throat blocked with emotion and instead of the intended "yes" all that escaped was a dry sob.

_"Hey Blaine, no don't cry come on"_ he had to clap his hand over his mouth to stop any more sobs echoing across his backyard from where he was sat, but even with his hand as a barrier for the sound, it didn't stop the silent tears from cascading down his cheeks.

"I'm fine" he managed

_"You're not though urgh I wish I could be there. You mentioned Cooper, could he help?"_

"He's…he's out, getting drunk. Left about an hour ago" he almost laughed at how pathetic he must be making his family sound.

_"Oh Blaine"_ he heard Kurt sigh. Blaine took another breath, feeling a familiar sort of calm settle over his limbs as he eyed the closed door to his bathroom. His hands ceased in their shaking.

"I'll be fine. I'm okay now" he spoke, voice a lot steadier.

_"Are you sure? I'm not busy right now"_

"No Kurt its fine. I'm going to shower and sleep" a lie "I'm okay" a lie "you should go. I don't want to keep you" a lie.

_"I don't…if you're sure."_ There was a moment's silence _"you don't have to be alone"_ Kurt added in a quiet voice. So quiet in fact that Blaine almost didn't hear it, but it sent daggers into his heart.

"I'll…be fine. I'm tired. I'll see you Monday"

_"O-okay. Call me if you need anything else kay?"_

"Sure"

_"Kay. Night Blaine"_

"Kurt?"

_"Yeah?"_

"Thank you" he thought he heard a chuckle on the other end but he could have been mistaken. His signal was never good inside the house.

_"No problemo Mr dapper pants. Go sleep"_

"Goodnight" he hung up and dropped his phone onto the floor, standing and making his way into his en suite. The same quiet desperation that had kept him rooted to the ground during Cooper's argument with his father was now urging him onwards, taking control of his limbs without his consent. Some tiny voice in the back of his mind was yelling at him to turn around, to close the door, to get away from here. Another part of his mind however, was urging him onwards, whispering venomous motivations in his ear. And in the end the bad always outweighed the good.

Blaine pulled his tools down from the bathroom cupboard and agonized over them for a moment, his mind still at war with what little sense was left in his body.

But with only the small tug of equivocation, he took a breath and continued to make a canvas of his wrist.

* * *

When Kurt turned back to his room, he found Elwy half in, half out, a confused look on his face.

"What was that about?" he asked, frown lines wrinkling across his head "sounded serious" Kurt shook his head and motioned for Elwy to re enter his room, pulling the door closed behind him.

"The guy I mentioned earlier was having a few issues at home. I said he could call me if he had any trouble"

"Whoa slow down Hummel, forward much? Honestly, and I thought I was bad" he rolled his eyes.

"I found out about it all by accident, and you know me I don't like seeing people sad. It makes me sad. And sadness does nothing for my complexion. So I offered my services if ever he needed them. Simple as" he snapped, setting to work putting his freshly ironed laundry onto hangers and into his sizable wardrobe, humming along to a random tune, whilst trying to disguise the worry in his stature.

"Always the compassionate one aren't you"

Kurt scoffed.

"Well it's better than you. At least my efforts are well intentioned."

"But you want to get into his pants"

Kurt flushed scarlet, the annoyance at Elwy's previous words beginning to show.

"I do not. No, I don't. Why would you say that? Nu-uh. Absolutely not. No" he kept his face hidden in his wardrobe, refusing to fall into the trap his friend had laid for him. Now he considered it; yeah he wanted to know Blaine, yes he wanted to be friends. And yes he was utterly gorgeous but did he really want to get in that deep? It sounded horrible when he thought over it but it wasn't that he didn't want to help Blaine – he did. What he was having trouble with was the dawning comprehension that Blaine…might not be good for him. Hadn't he already noticed how his confidence had slipped since the boy's arrival? He was putting everything into helping Blaine. And they weren't even close friends yet. Not like he and Elwy were. Which is exactly who he should be talking to about this right now.

He rotated on the spot, regarding his guest with a thoughtful expression. "You can't judge me for what I'm about to say okay?" he started, laying down the shirt hanging over his arm and sinking back down onto the bed. He mused for a second, chewing on the inside of his cheek. How did he talk about this without sounding like a complete asshole? Well, it was Elwy he was talking to, he'd had his fair share of douchbaggery moments over the past couple of years. He took a breath.

"Blaine's awesome okay? He's funny, sweet, sassy when he wants to be" the memory of what he had said to Rachel that day flickered across his mind and he had to hold back a smile. "And not to mention kinda hot. But I don't know…" he paused

"Is it the problems he's having?" Elwy supplied

"Yes…and no. I said I'd help him out and I'm willing to, don't get me wrong. But I don't want to be back in that place I was sophomore year you know? I've worked a lot at myself since then and in a way I can already…"

"Feel yourself slipping." Elwy sighed and patted Kurt's knee. "It's not like I can tell you what to do but if you're going to help this guy then it's gonna be pretty hard not to get that deep if you get me?"

"It all sounds a little familiar doesn't it" Elwy scowled well naturedly. Kurt and Elwy had history, both struggling with similar problems and finding comfort in each other. They were twin pillars, standing under way too much weight but that mutual understanding that neither of them could crumble lest everything should crumble above them. They found a happy medium in which to support each other. They met half way. They'd disagreed on numerous counts, but it seemed it was what they clashed on that brought them together. Kurt looked over his friend again, this time taking in the outfit choice. From the khaki jeans to multicoloured vest, he hadn't outgrown the look at all.

"If I may, you're looking very…Varsity. I like it." he nodded in appreciation until Elwy slapped him across the head "hey!"

"Don't change the subject!"

"Okay sorry" replied Kurt, fixing his hair back into its normal composed state. "jeez is this what I get for a compliment? Lily got you good" he added, smirking. Elwy blushed.

"I…Lily is not what we're talking about here…"

"But you won't deny it? You're so into her it hurts."

"Well moving over here isn't exactly going to help that is it?" he looked glum as he picked at the fluff on his jumper. Kurt regarded him with a sad smile.

"Maybe when you get back you'll both have a different outlook on things? You both need time to mature and get to know yourselves a bit better before you can dive into…" he trailed off, thoughtful.

"What?"

Kurt shook his head. "Nothing I just…El, you know when you met Lily you said it was like an aura. It was just something different and that was why you fell for her?"

"Kurt is this about-"

"Shut up a second" he stood again, pacing around the room in a familiar pattern. "I just…I spend so much of my time watching other relationships pan out. God knows Glee is full of them. I've lost track of who anyone is into anymore. What if I…" he stopped, cocking his head to the side "what if I'm afraid the same is going to happen to me? Finn and Rachel have broken up too many times to count. I'm a romantic, Elwy" he stated, dragging out the A. "I don't want any of this awkward _"I like you, you like me, okay yay let's date"_ crap. I want to be wooed. The flowers, the compliments…" …_and would Blaine do that?_ He almost added, although apparently his speech was lost on Elwy who just shrugged. Kurt rolled his eyes.

"I think whatever your motivations in this you're gonna end up regretting saying this stuff and pushing that idea away. Just look at Padme and Anakin. You know how hard they tried to pull away from each other but in the end it was their struggle that brought them together" Kurt crossed his arms over his chest. Was this seriously coming from Elwy's mouth?

"Elwy Dafydd Williams, are you actually talking sense?" his friend shrugged and pushed himself up

"I dunno man but you're gonna have to try harder to fool me that you're not in this for more. I'll see you later?"

He was right he supposed, he was talking himself out of something that was inevitable. All he hoped was that if he did happen to sink too deep, it wasn't into a pit he couldn't escape.

A sudden idea struck Kurt as his friend was shouldering his way out of the door. A way to see if he could get some more out of Blaine, and a chance to see if he really did feel anything more than friendship was on the horizon. "Hey El?" the other boy turned back "you remember Breadstix right?" he nodded "what about dinner tomorrow night? I'll bring Blaine along" Elwy smiled knowingly and nodded again, raising a hand in farewell.

No sooner was he alone; he turned back to his phone and typed out a message

"Hey, fancy meeting up at Breadstix tomorrow evening? I have a friend I want you to meet" he hit send and lay staring up at the ceiling, waiting for a reply. When one didn't come through within ten minutes, Kurt slid out of the room and went to make himself supper.

However, when he returned to the room two hours later and there was still no reply, he began to worry.

He only hoped Blaine hadn't done something he would regret.


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N**_: so this chapter could have been a lot longer but i decided to split it in two so i guess this is part one. again a wuick reminder, any Welsh use is easily google translated but if you have an queries just shoot me a message, either here or on Tumblr ( .com)

and a quick note that this is pretty AU of course and i'd like to put in a warning here for eating disorder!Kurt. won't be anything relating to it for a while but just a head's up!

* * *

Running away isn't that easy. The second you leave, you can't turn back. There's a difference between leaving and running away and Blaine wasn't sure whether he was coward enough to say he was running. Running meant leaving everything behind, including his sense of self. If he was going to run, he was leaving Blaine Anderson behind.

So maybe Running wasn't the best idea. He wasn't brave enough for that. Yet.

"hey, sorry for the late reply I fell asleep" he typed into his phone "sounds great though. How about sevenish?"

He tapped his knee while he waitd for a reply, hoping he hadn't waited too long in responding. The vibration next to him seemed to speak otherwise.

_"No problemo! Okay awesome. I'll just text Elwy and check with hm. That's the other friend btw"_

"Oh sure yeah okay"

_"He say's that's fine. See you tonight?"_

"Sure thing"

As if of its own accord, Blaine's body moved from room to room, double checking that he wasn't leaving his father alone with Cooper should he return. It seemed not. He passed the front door, pausing only to grab a jacket and his keys, making his way instead toward the back door to the garage. He hadn't driven in…weeks? Months? He hadn't needed to; his bike had been his lone companion in the long Ohio summer, turning dreary days into adventures.

This time however he bypassed it and slid into the bigger, much more powerful vehicle sat slightly dusty from misuse. He ran his hands over the leather steering wheel cover, inhaling the musky scent of the Porsche. It reminded him of coffee dates with the Warblers and flaming anger fuelled drives in the rain when everything had begun to fall apart. It smelled of autumn and pain and joy and a whole cascade of emotions in between. He may only have had this car for a little over a year but in that time life seemed to have scorched the car into every sad evening spent on the highway around Westerville; every happy reunion upon his return to Dalton. Blaine's return to its leather confines was bittersweet. "Come on darling" he breathed, patting the steering wheel once again as he put the car into neutral and pulled out of the garage and onto the road smoothly "lets get our heads sorted shall we?".

He headed straight onto open road out of his unfamiliar home in Lima, swerving in and out of the sparse traffic with ease. The soft rumble of the engine beneath him was comforting, familiar. Blaine pressed his foot firmly onto the gas as he left Lima - and his thoughts - far behind. When he drove, he let his mind wander into crevices he dare not creep into while conscious of what he was doing. He rolled down the window and stuck his arm out, waving it along the air as if the wind itself created visible waves for his fingers to rise and fall upon. The first block in his thinking came when the name Kurt Hummel flashed across his vision.

He sucked in a breath, letting it out slowly.

The issue there was trust, and assumptions. When it came to Blaine being self aware he considered himself higher up the ladder than most of his peers but with Kurt…it seemed as if he had found someone to share the rung with. But that was exactly it. Could he trust Kurt not to pull him down if he fell? After the…incident at McKinley nearly a week ago Kurt had seemed to become even more guarded. The thing that had first struck Blaine about Kurt was his inability to let pain get in the way of his desires. And there was definitely pain behind those cyan eyes, plenty of it. Blaine knew enough from watching his own demeanour change over the years to notice it in other people too. Maybe that was his downfall, like Kurt, he somehow managed to care too much but not quite enough to interfere. Or maybe that was a courage thing. God knows his courage had been shattered years ago when his father had first raised a hand in threat. A threat was all it had taken to show Blaine that life itself was not the fairytale he had grown up believing but in fact, a mass of corruption and fear that he observed had began to consume his brother. He was helpless, lost and frightened. And Kurt…he seemed to have drawn up the same walls around himself as Blaine, although perhaps these walls were a two way mirror, the pain only visible to those who dared to get close enough. Or indeed if the subject himself decided to flick a switch and let light flood out for a moment enough for the outsider to shrink back in guilt at the misery he harboured but hid well. If nothing else, he just hoped Kurt wasn't posing as his friend out of guilt. He didn't think he could bear any more masquerading.

So this dinner. He could go about it two ways he thought: approach it as if oblivious to the curiosity Kurt prompted, furthermore distancing himself from the potential (if non existent) friendship even more. Or, he could go in all guns blazing with the purpose of discovering what lay beneath that glass shell encompassing everything that was Kurt Hummel. Either way he wasn't going to get anything done while he was…twenty two miles out of Lima. _Well crap. _He pulled the car around easily and shot off back into town. He spotted a familiar gas station about ten miles down the road and pulled in to the lot attached, making his way into its tiny shop. He purchased a bottle of Coke and on the spur of the moment a single red rose, blushing slightly when the Cashier asked who it for with a smile. He shrugged

"A friend"

"Maybe want to be more than a friend?" she laughed at his embarrassment. "No worries, I'm sure she'll be wooed" Blaine sighed as he passed over his money. He should be used to it of course, but the assumption still stung.

"It's actually a him" now it was her turn to glow red. She looked flustered as she handed over his change

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have assumed…" she looked anywhere but at him

"No worries" he stated picking up his bought items "I'm sure he'll still be wooed" and with that he left her nervously picking at her nails with guilt._ Perks of living in Ohio. _He placed the flower down fondly on the passenger seat, putting his bottle in the glove compartment. The journey back home was a little slower than the one outward. More because he was dreading having to face his father upon his return. He could of course head to the mall or to the Lima bean but where was the sense in avoiding it? This way, time could be spent de-stressing and syking himself up for his date with Kurt. _Woah holy hell Blaine slow down man. You're not even going to be alone_. A new stab of panic hit him at that. Blaine had been nothing short of social, or at least as social as he got anyway, since moving to McKinley. Spending an indeterminate length of time with two guys, one of which he hardly knew and one he didn't at all was more than a little bit daunting however. He'd dress carefully, avoid triggering conversations and steer it back towards them any chance he got. Simple.

Or so he hoped.

There was nothing simple about the man he was heading back to face though. He re-entered Lima all too soon, weaving through the unfamiliar streets to his new home. New being the relative term; his parents had bought the property just before he had enrolled at Dalton so it had only really been the odd holiday here and there that he'd really spent any time in the place. The others had been spent with Cooper or his other Dalton buddies. When he turned the corner onto the avenue, he was met by a scene quite a bit out of sync for the neighbourhood. He pulled up onto the curb and stepped out, not even bothering to pull into the garage. A suitcase was sprawled half full on the front lawn, the door agape. Blaine picked up stray clothes as he moved forward, chucking them into the case and stepping inside. His father was stood looking gravely at the ground while who he assumed was Cooper moved around upstairs. A prickle of fear crawled across his skin. He opened his mouth to ask what was going on but just at that moment his brother came thundering down the stairs, shoving more clothes into a hold all. He stopped in front of his father and looked him up and down.

"Well, Thanks for everything Dad."

"Cooper…" his father raised a hand but Cooper merely stepped backwards out of its range. His father sighed, letting his arm drop. Cooper let out a disbelieving huff of air and pushed past Blaine into the front garden. Blaine shot his father a look and then followed Cooper out.

"Coop what-"

"Our father has kicked me out of the house. Should have seen it coming really"

"What?! Why?"

"For standing up for you" his heart sank. Cooper looked up to see Blaine standing guilt ridden and resigned "no hey little bro. This isn't your fault. I'm surprised it's taken this long for us to blow up at each other to be honest. But look" he closed his bag with a click and then made his way over. He looked tired, more tired than Blaine had seen him since his high school days. "Why don't…why don't we go for coffee? I need to pick up some stuff at the mall anyway. we can grab a Starbucks or something huh?" Blaine nodded, glancing back to the door which still stood open "Come one, he won't miss you. Plus I need a ride to my apartment"

"Your apartment…?"

"Coffee Blaine." He said with a wink. A little weary perhaps, but none the less it helped Blaine brush off a little bit of the panic settling into his limbs. "I'll explain. There."

"o-okay"

* * *

"So he just expects you to side with him? He knows Mom is indifferent"

"I think he regrets not trying to convert Mom like the rest of us"

"He did shove it down our throats a bit didn't he" Cooper nodded over his latte. They had sat and watched the lot outside fill slowly, in silence for the most part. Neither of them fancied talking about what had just happened. The air needed to be cleared however so Blaine placed his cup down and asked the question he had been avoiding like the plague

"Where are you going coop" it was more a statement than a question but his brother's face, to Blaine's great surprise, lit up.

"Actually, I've found a place here in Lima. "

"…no way?"

"Yes way little brother. I thought it through and balanced the numbers. I was actually thinking of applying to McKinley….if that's okay" he smiled "wouldn't want to cramp your style" Blaine stared, stunned at the words coming out of his brothers mouth "that is…okay right?" his face began to fall

"No coop it's brilliant. Seriously!" he sighed heavily, relieved. "you're actually gonna be here"

Cooper smiled softly "you'll be safe. And you can come over anytime you want. Maybe we could even consider a semi permanent basis" he raised his eyebrows. Blaine smiled widely.

"That would be awesome" he trained his eyes on the door again just to come up short at the pair who walked through, laughing and in the taller boys case chatting animatedly "wait Coop one sec" he slid off his chair, in such a good mood at the prospect of his brother moving to town that he didn't even hesitate at having to be introduced to the smaller of the two boys. He shuffled over, tugging his sleeves halfway down his hands.

He tapped the boy with the coifed hair on the shoulder, smiling brightly.

"Blaine!" the boy looked like he was about to throw his arms around Blaine's neck and he was glad he held back

"Hey. Coincidence much. Didn't take you for a Sunday shopper Kurt" he added sarcastically. Kurt hit him on the arm playfully

"I will shop any place, anytime. And what is Mr dapper pants doing in Lima mall on a Sunday?" Blaine reddened at that seemed to have become some form of endearment between them. He pointed Cooper out who waved.

"We had a bit of drama at home so we're here until cooper can pick up the keys for his new apartment"

"He's moving?"

"Yeah he's actually applying to McKinley"

"Fabulous! Hold on we'll come and join you and you can fill us in." the other boy cleared his throat awkwardly. Kurt broke his happy gaze with Blaine abruptly, clearing his own throat "oh yeah sorry err Blaine, Elwy - Elwy, Blaine" the two shook hands, Elwy adding a two fingered salute non-chalantly.

"I've heard a lot about you Blaine. Kurt literally would not shut up about you" he spoke in an accent Blaine couldn't place. To Elwy's amusement both boys blushed.

"ahem okay lets get drinks shall we" Kurt continued, turning back to the queue.

"awr cariad, did I embarrass you? Bechod" Blaine was lost on the conversation. He just nodded and made his way back over to his brother

"Friends of yours?" he asked with a smirk

"Kurt and presumably the guy he wanted me to meet. Dude was speaking another language" Cooper laughed

"That's the guy isn't it?" Blaine blushed even further and nodded. He didn't think it wad possible to get any redder "very…_you,_ Blaine. I approve" Blaine scoffed

"Please. He's way out of my league" Cooper shook his head but was saved an answer by Kurt and Elwy making their way over. The latter managed to commandeer a chair on the way over but Kurt was left floundering around "here" blaine staid and swung his own chair across, pushing it in neatly as Kurt sat "thank you" he said quietly

"No problemo" he grabbed another chair and turned back to Kurt, who arched an eyebrow at his use of language.

"Seems I'm rubbing off on you"

"Sorry. Won't steal your terminology again"

"Be glad I like you Anderson"

"Oh don't worry. I do" something heavy seemed to settle on the exchange, shifting the dynamic into something much more electric. They met each others eyes over their respective coffees, some unspoken understanding drifting between them. However as usual, Blaine came up against a wall behind Kurt's eyes, softer than it had been, but still evident

"You two lovebirds done?" came Elwy's voice. They snapped out of the moment, bewildered at the amused look on their companions' faces. Blaine swallowed. Cooper just shook his head.

"So" Kurt said into the silence, aiming his words at the pair that had arrived earlier "Blaine said you were thinking of applying to McKinley?" Cooper placed his cup down, nodding

"As long as my little bro's alright with it. I was at drama school but things…fell through" Blaine dropped his head at the bitterness in his brother's voice "so I got a teaching degree in the same thing. There's an open spot seeing as your performing arts department has gotten so popular"

"Well you have Glee to thank for that"

"So I've heard" he smiled at Blaine

"Were you two planning on staying around long?" Kurt asked, sipping his coffee.

"Only as long as Blainers here needs to" Blaine shot his brother a glare. Kurt smiled. Elwy snorted.

"Failed actor Cooper here is only here until he gets the call for his apartment and then we were gonna head over there." He said brightly, earning another eye roll. "Why, are you guys sticking around?"

"Well Elwy here has a makeover on the cards and I was just wondering if you know…" he fiddled with the edge of his paper cup "you maybe fancied helping out. I could always use help from the one and only Mr dapper pants" he nudged Blaine's shoulder with his own gently, then looked up at Cooper "if you don't need him of course"

"Well actually…" Blaine started but Cooper cut across him, chirpily

"I can get a cab. It'll be no trouble little bro"

"Great!" Kurt Exclaimed, Elwy groaned

"Brill. Another fashionista trailing me around the mall." Blaine rolled his eyes and then turned to his brother

"You sure you'll be okay?" he nodded, draining the last of his coffee

"Come to mine when your done? I'll text you the address" he stood, considered for a moment and then added "don't go home without me Kay?"

"Sure."

"Have a good time boys!" and with a one handed wave and a wink he was out of the coffee shop. Silence fell for a few moments, on Blaine's part mostly caused by his brothers sobering words. They had escaped the net of worry for a little while, but it was always ther, hovering in the background. He only hoped they would have enough between them to cushion each other from the fall. Kurt spoke up first

"So. I have a list of places to visit and then it's across town for your hair and maybe we can head to Breadstix a bit early?" Blaine nodded, trying to push down the panic rising in his chest. A whole day? Suddenly that rose idea didn't seem so great

"I don't have much choice do I?" Elwy muttered "please tell me you're not as bad as him" he directed at Blaine. Kurt leant over and hit him across his head but Blaine just smiled as well as he could

"As far as I can tell, no. I have no idea how Kurt affords half of his stuff. I have a fairly lenient allowance…but i suppose that's about to end" he trailed off, staring grimly off out the window. Kurt touched his arm, brow creased with concern

"hey, you okay?" Blaine shook himself back to the moment and nodded. Kurt raised his eyebrow and dipped his chin sceptically.

"Not now" he added, almost a whisper. Kurt rubbed his arm in understanding and turned back to Elwy.

"You ready? We can take these with us" he suggested, motioning towards the two remaining coffees. _Nothing like a bit of systematic desensitization on a Sunday afternoon _Blaine thought grimly.

* * *

The day actually passed much more smoothly than he'd expected. They spent a lot of time sat outside changing rooms with Elwy strutting around in various outfits, Kurt barking his approval or screaming the opposite. There was a lot of groaning on Elwy's part, Kurt simply kept his cool and ordered him from one place to the next. Blaine stayed quiet, adding his opinion here and there tacking a laugh onto the end for good measure. Neither of his companions seemed to notice anything was amiss until Kurt slid onto a seat next to him while they watched Elwy have hair sheared from various parts of his head. His stomach had been an uncomfortable mess of roils all day, growing steadily in strength until he was crossing and un-crossing his legs constantly, playing with the hem of his sweater. Kurt noticed the movement and placed his hand atop Blaine's, pulling it away and placing it between them. When he looked up to meet the other boy's eyes, rather than seeing annoyance or frustration he was met by sadness. And not the pity sort, it was…empathy. _What?_

"What's going on Blaine?" he asked quietly "and don't try the 'I fell asleep excuse' again. I know for a fact you never go to bed that early" a sudden wave of anger surged through him. Was it his business what Blaine decided to do with his evening? He pulled his hand from beneath Kurt's, scratching at the itching beginning to irritate his wrists. When it began to sting he flinched. Kurt took his chance and repeated his earlier motion, gripping Blaine's hand firmly beneath his own. He looked hurt. Blaine's anger melted away quickly to be replaced by a cold guilt

"Sorry" he replied, staring into his lap "bad night"

"I can tell. What was Cooper talking about before?"

Blaine rubbed a hand over his face, limbs suddenly heavy. His entire frame sagged with weariness.

"My dad…kicked him out. There's been quite a bit of animosity between them since Cooper started college. That's why he's a teacher now not an actor. Things just blew up I guess"

"Why didn't he want you to go home without him?"

"My dad can get…violent…" Blaine looked up at Kurt to see his face drawn with disgust. He rushed to repair the situation. Kurt was already too deep in his affairs, he didn't need this niggling at him as well "he hasn't done anything in years, he just threatens every now and again its no biggy"

"Blaine this is _serious_"

"No Kurt honestly, I don't really care anymore. Who knows, maybe I'll move in with Cooper" he shrugged. There was a few beats of silence

"Did he…you know…when you talked about things being tough when you came out…" Blaine cringed at the memory

"Yeah."

"That's…I can't imagine. Well I _can_, but from my own-" Blaine cut across him, not wanting to do anymore reliving

"Kurt, forget it. It's in the past" his voice commanded finality. Kurt took a deep breath, as if to continue but at that moment Elwy came sauntering over

"ta-da! How do I look? Any less Welsh?" Kurt tried to smile up at him.

"It looks great. Brill."

Elwy cheered silently and then turned away, whacking out his card for payment. When they exited, Blaine felt an odd emptiness in his hand. It wasn't until he reached his car that he realised it was because it wasn't fit closely with Kurt's.

* * *

They pulled up to Breadstix with about ten minutes to spare before their reservation hit its mark. Blaine stared down at the flower in the passenger seat, sighing before stepping out. Kurt was making his way over alone, hands tucked into the pockets of the tightest jeans Blaine had ever seen. He smiled, grabbing the rose behind his back with a last surge of courage. If Kurt was who Blaine thought he was, he would at least appreciate the sentiment.

"Ready?" Kurt asked. Blaine steadied his breath

"Actually I wanted to give you this…before we go in" he pulled the flower from behind his back and presented it to Kurt. The other boy fell silent, taking it gently

"What's this for?" he said quietly. Blaine shrugged

"A thank you. You knew I wasn't okay last night and no-one has ever known before so I wanted to thank you. For being…okay with all this." he looked away, digging his hands into his own pockets. He heard the breath escape Kurt's lips a second before he was being pounced on, arms wrapping tightly around his neck. Blaine stumbled, tensing like he had the first time before relaxing into the other boys hold.

"Thank you" Kurt's breath tickled the hair by his ear as he spoke, sending shivers along his spine. Blaine chuckled, resenting the lack of warmth when Kurt pulled away. The other boy was smiling; so soft and comfortable and…familiar, it took his breath away. He just stood there, gazing into Kurt's cyan coloured eyes, willing nothing to break the moment…

…As it happened, they had a dinner reservation and even as Blaine felt himself rocking forwards towards Kurt, sure the other boy was about to do the same, Elwy yelled over;

"Oi you two!" Blaine jumped and then let out a stuttered breath. Kurt looked confused as he motioned to the door.

"We should err, get going"

"Yeah" Blaine replied, laughing weakly. They walked to the door in silence, Blaine with his hands tucked into his pockets watching Kurt roll the rose between his fingers

"Shit!" Kurt cursed, dropping the flower and examining the bead of blood blossoming at the tip of his finger. Blaine stooped to pick it up, carefully mind, and then turned to help Kurt. The blood had traced a path down his forefinger, pooling in his palm. Blaine had to grit his teeth at the sight, willing the subconscious urge to melt away.

"Here" he pulled a pack of tissues and a plaster out of his pocket

"Why do you have…" Kurt trailed off "Oh. Oh Blaine…" there was that pity again. Blaine shook his head

"Hold the tissue to it for a sec" he dug around in his bag and pulled out a half used tube of antiseptic cream, squeezing a spot onto his finger before pulling the tissue from Kurt's hand and throwing it into the trash can next to the door they were no more than a couple of feet from. "this is gonna sting a little" Kurt hissed as Blaine began to massage the cream into the miniscule cut on his finger "it's always the little ones that hurt the most. Like scorpions" he smoothed the plaster over the broken skin and deposited the cream back in his messenger bag. He smiled p at Kurt to se him staring down with something akin to pity on his face. _That empathy again_ "Don't look at me like that" he said quickly, meeting Kurt's eyes. The other boy blinked.

"Like what?" he asked innocently, shifting his features swiftly.

"Like I'm about to run off and…I'm not fragile Kurt." Kurt opened his mouth to reply but Blaine cut him off again "let's just go in shall we?" he handed the flower back and flourished Kurt in before him as he held open the door.

Elwy looked up at their approach.

"What took you two so long?" he questioned. Kurt held up the Rose and plastered finger in response.

"Plonker" Elwy breathed, shaking his head. Kurt shot him a watered down version of his bitch face, slipping into the booth and sliding along to allow Blaine entry. Blaine cleared his throat and perched next to him, not oblivious to how close they were sat. In any other situation he would be buzzing with the kind of energy only Kurt could trigger but right now, he was having to concentrate more on keeping his breathing steady. _Fuck not now, please not now._

"This place hasn't changed a bit then?" Elwy raised an eyebrow at the menu in front of him, Kurt pursed his lips as he scanned his own. Blaine peeked over his shoulder and let his eyes slip down past the various dishes. Kurt looked up and then shifted slightly to give Blaine a better view. They shared a smile, all tension melting away in the wake of the small bout of awkwardness outside.

After a minute he looked away, noticing for the first time how loud it had become in the restaurant. Kurt and Elwy fell into easy banter, pausing only to order drinks. They were laughing away brightly, apparently unaware of the way Blaine's hands were balling around each other in his lap, or how his occasional smile didn't quite reach his eyes. As the inside jokes began to trickle faster Blaine felt himself slipping away at a buzzing in his ears. He shook his head. Kurt looked over at the motion, brow creasing slightly

"You okay?"

"Fine. Actually would you excuse me? Bathroom" he tried a smile again, feeling it turn into more of a grimace as he stepped toward the bathroom, trying to keep his stance soft and relaxed.

He found the bathroom blissfully empty, and sunk low over a sink almost instantly. The whirring in his head was growing. _Not now please not now…_he pressed a hand to his temple and another to his chest, trying to will away the panic rising steadily upward. His lungs constricted painfully as he tried to take a breath, stumbling back against the wall to the left of him. his breaths began to come as stuttered gasps, dizziness washing over him in waves as he sank to the floor. He needed a grounder…something…his hand was halfway to the small box in his pocket when he felt fingers wrapping around his wrist, pulling them away.

"I need…" he gasped

"shhh, breath" came_…Kurt?_ He felt his body moving and his cheek was suddenly pressed up against the blue fabric of Kurt's shirt. He took another breath, and another, his body shaking with unshed tears. It wasn't until his mind began to clear that his frame drooped onto Kurt fully, sobs wracking his body while Kurt rubbed soothing circles across his back and hairline.

He didn't know how long they sat like that, nobody interrupted them. After a while, his breath began to slow back to normal rate.

He swallowed hard and pushed himself into a sitting position. Cold and disoriented he turned to Kurt

"I'm sorry" he croaked. Kurt turned on the spot and picked up a glass of water sat behind him

"Drink this" his own voice wavered. Blaine gulped down the water.

"I'm disgusting" he stated after placing the glass down. Kurt laughed

"Yeah you kind of are. Can you stand up?" Blaine blinked a few times, took a couple of breaths and then nodded. Kurt stood first, half hauling Blaine up with him. He recovered for a moment but nodded when Kurt went to step away. He watched him move to the sink with a wad of toilet paper, before he turned back to Blaine and began pressing the damp tissue across his face

"Kurt…"

"Shush" his face was expressionless. "You think you're the only one who's ever had a panic attack? You're coming home with me"

"But-"

"No buts. My stepmom is a nurse." he stopped then, as if this fact made arguing invalid.

"Cooper…"

"You left your phone out there. I text Elwy, he's calling him now" they both fell silent. Kurt stepped away. "you think you're okay to get to the car?" Blaine nodded again. Kurt wrapped his arm around Blaine's waist, causing the heat to rise in his face for what had to be the gazillionth time that day. He'd just been sobbing into the boy's chest for heavens sake and now he was getting all bashful at an arm resting around his torso? He let Kurt lead him out; the cool air was soothing as it hit his face. "Crap…" Kurt murmured "do you trust Elwy to drive your Porsche? He can drive don't worry" he assured quickly "he just doesn't have his licence finalized over here yet" in Blaine's mind he wasn't really bothered who drove his car, as long as Kurt kept his arm around him. He fished his keys out if his pocket and handed them over. Next thing he knew he was being enveloped in the warm interior of Kurt's car, clipping in his seatbelt. He let his head fall back against the rest as Kurt slipped in beside him and started the engine. They backed out of the lot and headed away in silence. Blaine inhaled, absorbing the scent of leather and coffee and…something fresh and airy that he couldn't quite place. He could see Kurt looking over at him every few seconds and heaved another deep sigh, turning to meet his eyes. The other boy obviously hadn't expected it because he blinked quickly and turned his attention back to the road. He smiled, straight forward. "Sorry"

"For what?" Blaine asked

"Doing that thing again. You said you were fine." He shrugged, flicking his eyes to Blaine once more "I trust you"

"You trust me…?" he was taken aback at the simplicity in the statement, the apparent non-chalent way that Kurt just threw those three words at him.

"I do. I shouldn't have made assumptions before, after the rose incident. But I trust you Blaine…as hard as it is" Blaine got the feeling they weren't really talking about him anymore.

He hesitated a moment.

"Kurt, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure"

"Do you… I mean, have you had…issues with trust…before?" Kurt stiffened and chewed his lip.

"I…I've lost some people in my life and I guess…there was a time where I was more venerable than other people and in that time I wasn't really in the environment I should have been. Believe it or not, I wasn't always as out and proud as I am now. Things were hard" he shrugged again "I'm sure you can relate" he glanced over, smiling sadly.

"Yeah, I guess…" Blaine chewed over Kurt's words for the remainder of the journey. The silence was comfortable, and for some reason he felt himself being pulled closer and closer to the boy next to him, his fingers slowly picking away at that glass shell. He was beginning to understand some of Kurt's motives, the reason for his occasional sombre demeanour but also the positivity he seemed to simply radiate. Unlike Blaine, Kurt had actually tried to surround himself with good, healthy relationships whereas Blaine had retracted from the world around him. Kurt had become a happy medium between the intro and extrovert. As far as he could tell anyway, although he suspected that there was still much more hidden beneath his tight fitting clothes.

By the time they reached Kurt's house he was suitably calm, if tired out of his mind. All he felt now was a growing sense of shame and guilt.

"Come on you" Kurt stepped out, Blaine mimicking him. It was a few seconds before he realised he was about to meet Kurt's parents for the first time and he wasn't best pleased at the circumstance. They marched up to the front door, Blaine trailing behind by a few feet. Kurt slid his key into the lock and pushed his way inside. Blaine followed warily, hands buried deep in his sleeves "Dad? Carole?" a rumbled answer came from upstairs and then a man in flannel and jeans came jogging down the stairs, smiling, his face taking on a whole new expression however, when he noticed Blaine. He turned to Kurt. Blaine swallowed

"And who might this be?" Kurt flushed.

"This is Blaine. Is Carole home? I could use her advice." he turned and hung his jacket on the hook by the door, motioning for Blaine to do the same. Blaine gave him a pointed look and Kurt's eyes widened before he nodded in understanding.

"Not yet. What was it you needed? Maybe I can help" Kurt rolled his eyes

"Sorry dad but this is a Carole essential conversation. We'll be upstairs okay?" he grabbed Blaine's hand and pulled him up the stairs. Burt Hummel stared after them for a moment before yelling up;

"Door open!"

Kurt sighed and led them to what had to be Kurt's room. It would have been obvious to anyone who knew him. The whole place screamed Kurt, from the neatly arrayed cushions on the neatly made bed to the piles of vinyl piled up beside a vintage deck. Blaine smiled around as Kurt stood awkwardly beside his bed

"Verdict?" he asked. Blaine smiled wider

"This place Is awesome. I see you're a fan of the old stuff" he pointed to the deck. Kurt laughed

"Most of them were my Mom's. I wouldn't let my dad throw them away. The rest are things I've collected over the years. Elwy has contributed a bit too"

"You guys are close huh?" he walked over to examine the pile. Behind him, Kurt shrugged

"We went through a lot together. Me with my mom and…other things" his tone of voice made Blaine turn. Kurt was perched on the end of the bed, hands squeezed between his crossed thighs.

"Kurt…I know you probably won't give me an answer but…why did you decide to help me?" there was weight in his words. Kurt met his gaze steadily.

"I'm your friend. You're mine. Does there need to be anything else? And I don't know. Maybe I…saw something of me in you. Of what i used to be anyway." He let out a dry laugh

"I don't think your dad likes me…" Blaine added. Kurt snorted

"You're the first guy I've ever brought home. Trust him to jump to conclusions. We'll wait until Carole gets back and then you can drive back to Cooper's or wherever you were going" Blaine's heart fell at his words. For some reason he had expected them to rearrange their plans and still spend the evening together. Or at least that's what he had hoped.

"Oh. Yeah, I suppose" he breathed, looking at the floor. Kurt continued to speak, his tone uncertain

"Or…you could just…stay. Your brother said he didn't want you going home alone right? Maybe this is a solution. And I don't really think you should be driving after what just happened." Blaine looked up to see him smiling hopefully over at him. He smiled warmly in response. There was no niggling voice in the back of his mind, urging him out of the situation. It just felt…right. He nodded enthusiastically

"As long as I wouldn't be a bother"

"Oh come on, you're the most gentlmanly guy I know. Finn will be happy anyway. We usually get food in when we have guests but with it so last minute we'll order in I guess" he grimaced at the idea. "Come on, I'll go tell him" he dragged Blaine as far as the furthest door from his own and then dropped his hand, rapping sharply on the wood.

"Mom?" came a muffled voice Blaine recognised instantly.

"Yeah, I've come to scold you for having your door closed with Rachel over" he rolled his eyes at Blaine.

"Oh Kurt hey come on in" Kurt pushed the door open, preceding him in. Finn was sat on the floor with an X box controller in one hand, Rachel sprawled on the bed behind him with sheet music lay out messily in front of her.

"Blaine" she acknowledged coldy. Finns's eyes went wide.

"Oh hey Blaine, look man I'm really sorry about the other day I'm such a klutz" Blaine shook his head.

"No worries. All's well that ends well" Finn sighed in relief

"Cool man"

"Kurt" Rachel piped in "I could use your help. I need something wow worthy for Glee this week"

"You'll wow with anything Rachel. Just pick anything. Except Run Joey Run" he added sternly. Blane picked up on the frustration radiating from Rachel. It seemed his assumption that she liked to hog the limelight had been correct.

"As captain of Glee club I need to assert my authority."

"hey! Co-captain!"

"yes, Finn dear" she patted his shoulder as one would a child. They seemed the epitome of the domestic couple. Finn turned back to his game as Kurt spoke up again

"Blaine's staying for dinner. I was going to order Pizza. Is that okay?" Finn nodded but Rachel looked uncertain "don't worry, the place we like does salad. We can get one to share" Rachel shot him a grateful look and turned back to her sheet music. Kurt stood from the chair hed been sat on "we'll be downstairs if you need us"

"We will?" Blaine spoke up

"My Dad isn't going to eat you Blaine. Come on, I'll make proper introductions" Blaine followed him as Kurt practically skipped down the stairs and came face to face with his dad halfway to the kitchen. He had changed and was now wearing a much sharper outfit, one he saw on his father often. "Dad! Hold up a sec" he motioned for Blaine to follow him all the way down the stairs and he did so, smiling weakly up at Kurt's father. "Dad, I would like to formally introduce you to my _friend_, Blaine Anderson" Blaine noticed the emphasis he put on the word and had to smile as he held out his hand to be shaken

"Pleasure to meet you Mr Hummel"

"Likewise. Have you been at McKinley long Blaine?"

"Since the beginning of this year. I recently transferred from Dalton Academy in Westerville"

"Dalton? Bit of a step down to come to McKinley isn't it-" Kurt thankfully cut across him, sensing the direction of the conversation. Blaine found himself silently thanking Kurt for his sense

"We were going to order in. Elwy will be over in a bit" Burt nodded, pulling on a suit jacket.

"Finn was thinking of having a few more of you Glee kids over later on anyway I think. Weren't you supposed to be eating out? Where is Elwy?" Burt glanced between the two boys suspiciously

"Err they, erm double booked. Elwy just had to nip home for something" Burt seemed to eat it pretty quickly before fishing around in his wallet and pulling out a fifty and handing it over to Kurt.

"Don't wreck the place okay? I'm meeting Carole at work and we're having dinner out. My flight gets to DC early morning so I'll speak to you sometime tomorrow okay?" Kurt nodded. Burt picked up the carry on he had placed at his side and pulled Kurt into a one armed hug. "Be safe kiddo"

"I will dad"

"Nice to meet you Blaine" he nodded and then made towards the door. Kurt waved his father off before closing the door softly, looking guiltily at Blaine

"What?"

"Are you sure you're okay to stay? It's only people you met in the caf the other day. Puck, Santana, Sam…they all liked you. You don't have to stay if you don't want to" his eyes went wide and he began to ramble "not that I don't want you to stay, I do, I just want to make sure you're happy and comfortable and if you don't-" Blaine interrupted him with a hand on his arm

"I'm fine Kurt, honestly. I feel a lot better." Kurt took a breath and smiled, just as the door was pushed open into his back and he went stumbling into Blaine's arms. They both stepped back a few paces. Blaine kept them balanced and Kurt let out a nervous laugh as he stepped clear of Blaine to turn to their new guest. Elwy held up the spare key apologetically before chucking Blaine's own to him.

"sorry I took so long. That's one hell of a car you have there Blaine"

"Isn't it just" he smiled and tucked the keys into his pocket. Kurt clapped his hands together and then turned and glared sternly at Elwy

"Okay now Elwy, you have to promise to be on your best behaviour this evening okay? The majority of Glee club will be here and that means Puck and the cheerios…" Elwy rolled his eyes

"I'won't make any promises, but Finn seems okay I guess?" he shrugged

"Great! Urgh I'm excited. Okay, so what am I ordering?"


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/N:**_ just a quickie here, the songs used in this chapter are _Middle Distance Runner_ (Blaine) by Sea Wolf and _All For Nothing_ (Elwy) by Matt Cardle. and just a reminder that any Welsh in these chapters are easily google translated if need be. hope you're all enjoying Elwy thus far!

read on!

* * *

When afternoon fell unsteadily (pun intentional) into evening and the glee kids began to arrive, consuming an unhealthy amount of Pizza, Blaine began to think that maybe things tonight would turn out okay.

He was very wrong. Or at least in the sense he thought.

It started off like any usual group gathering, everyone sat around the living room, sharing stories, laughing loudly and embarrassing each other while Blaine sat soundly on the floor near the fireplace and absorbed as much as he could. There had been some tension between Elwy and Puck at the beginning of the evening, a few cold words and glares were exchanged before Kurt stood and told them both to get a grip. They were older now, it was petty, they should just forget about it and move on. Since then nothing harsh had been passed between the two boys, but the occasionally look now and then observed by Blaine showed that the animosity between them wasn't evaporating as quickly as everyone seemed to hope.

Blaine didn't have a clue what the guy's beef was; Puck seemed like an alright guy, if a bit rough around the edges. He put it down to knowledge he didn't yet have. There was a lot he didn't know and maybe one day Kurt would trust him enough to let him in on what exactly went down between him and Elwy. It was obvious to anyone with eyes that the two had shared more than just a year of friendship. They knew each better than anyone Blaine had ever met, and jealousy aside, he found himself smiling at the fact that Kurt had someone like that.

The banter turned into truth or dare about an hour and a half into the meet, whizzing around the circle in a blur of blushing and triumph. Santana was keen to show off and Brittany came out with so many unintentional one liners that Blaine found himself, more than once, clutching his knee's and gasping for breath, laughing hard enough to throw up.

For the first time in a long time, Blaine felt…happy. And he didn't resent the feeling at all.

When his turn came around he hugged his knees a little tighter and selected Truth. Quinn exchanged a look with Rachel who was regarding Blaine coolly before she spoke up sweetly.

"Blaine, do you currently have a crush on anyone here present?"

His stomach flipped, jaw going slack. He blinked around, taking in the expectant faces around him and finally settling on Kurt who was looking a little more wary. It was a cruel question he knew, seeing as Kurt and Elwy were the only two he was really in confidence with more than a few lines here and there.

"I err…don't know if..i…" he stumbled over his words, reddening "well I don't…suppose but…" everyone laughed at his embarrassment until Elwy spoke up to Blaine's surprise

"Sorry to interrupt Blaine, but I have an entire trunk of liquor out there and I wouldn't mind cracking it open if anyone would mind giving me a hand" Blaine let out a sigh of relief as the group cheered. Kurt stood quickly.

"We have school tomorrow"

"Oh school shmool, I needs some alcohol in me" Santana quipped, standing to offer Elwy her services. Kurt still looked uncertain and turned to Blaine for back up. He simply shrugged. He was in too good a mood to even think about the consequences of getting drunk on a Sunday night. Kurt rolled his eyes, still looking concerned.

"Okay. But I'm not vouching for anyone and if you wreck anything, you pay for it." Puck let out a whoop and the rest of the group began to move the furniture in the room to make more space for movement. It seemed this wasn't the first time Kurt had held host to an unexpected last minute party. He looked uneasy stood by the wall. Blaine pushed himself up and made his way over.

"You okay?" he asked. Kurt raised an eyebrow

"Fine. I just don't know if this is a good idea."

"Well we'll make sure we drink plenty of water tonight and we'll be fine tomorrow. Or we could just not drink." Kurt shook his head

"Oh no honey, Hummel is getting wasted tonight. What about you Mr Dapper Pants? Raise a glass with me?" Blaine hesitated warily for a moment and then sighed and nodded.

Within and hour they were both completely trashed.

Well, trashed being the relative word. Kurt was completely gone. Blaine however, had stopped after a bitter tasting concoction of Elwy's and instead had opted to seat himself in the armchair and observe the shenanigans everyone else was getting down to.

Various couples were sprawled around making out heatedly, Kurt had disappeared upstairs about ten minutes ago so he was left on his own, gazing happily around. Elwy entered and plonked himself down next to Blaine. He seemed surprisingly sober. But then again so was Blaine.

"How are you not drunk?" Blaine said loudly over the music.

"I'm Welsh" was all he was offered in reply. "What about you?"

"I don't know. I've never drunk this much before but I feel fairly okay considering" he giggled. He realised this was the fist time he'd been alone with Elwy and decided to make the most of his courageous state and try and get some answers. "What's the deal with you and Kurt anyway?"

"What do you mean?" Elwy didn't take his eyes from where Santana was dancing hotly on the coffee table.

"He said you went through stuff together"

"Yeah. Kurt lost his mom when he was little, I lost a brother. We understood it. And he was dealing with some other stuff."

"What other stuff?" he queried carefully

"I don't know man, I don't think he'd be happy me telling you. Why don't you ask him?" Blaine sighed in frustration and let his head fall back against the arm chair. A cheer went up as Santana yelled about another rendition of truth and dare but was interrupted by Kurt who came stumbling in

"spin tha bottle!" another cheer. Blaine somehow, found himself grinning. Elwy pulled him off the chair and onto the floor beside him. Kurt fell down opposite and some reason, he was happy with the position. Even though it could only lead to disaster.

Artie and Quinn were the first to kiss, followed by Elwy and Santana (that went on for a while) and then it was Blaine's turn. He took a breath and span the bottle in front of him. It went and went and looked as if it would never stop until…ah. The group erupted.

Kurt looked at him in horror. Blaine gulped as Elwy shoved him forward. He caught himself on his hands, halfway into the circle, still staring across it at Kurt warily. Kurt seemed to have sobered up within a matter of seconds and was blinking stupidly at him. The expression didn't suit his face at all.

Blaine looked around at Elwy who had his eyes on Santana again. Quiet began to fall as Blaine felt himself being shoved from the other side. Kurt shook his head ever so slightly and then staggered to his feet. "Blaine, with me" Blaine hauled himself up, another chorus of cheers and wolf whistles going up. It seemed nobody else was picking up on the tension flitting between them.

Kurt made his way as smoothly as was possibly in his state to the patio doors at the back of the kitchen and pushed himself out, falling down onto the step with a sound of exertion. Blaine followed, sitting a little more carefully.

They sat in silence, watching the stars wheel overhead. It was as peaceful a moment that Blaine had had since his moment in the park.

Kurt finally spoke up. "I'm not nearly as drunk as I look" Blaine looked over to see him, hands clasped between his crossed thighs as was his wont, looking up curiously at the sky above. The absence of the slur and sudden awareness in his eyes surprised him a little. He was quite the actor. Blaine huffed a laugh and shook his head.

"I didn't take you for the kind to get drunk on a Sunday evening"

"I'm not really one for drinking full stop. I just kept filling my cups with soda. No-one noticed." He shook his head.

"Was there a…purpose for you, not drinking?"

"Other than not wanting to feel like shit tomorrow? No. Do you ever just do things for the sake of doing them Blaine?" the question caught him off guard. He hadn't expected things to get deep all of a sudden.

"Erm...I don't know. I guess not. There isn't really much I enjoy doing for the sake of…although I guess" he scoffed "my guitar. And my music. Sound. Like…early in the morning when the light is just filtering through the blinds and you're just feeling for the strings or late in the evening, just at dusk, when you have to strain your eyes because you're tired but it's so worth it because you're voice is all rough with use and" he looked up suddenly, catching Kurt looking over fondly. He blushed. "sorry. Rambling"

"Don't apologise. It's cute" the corner of his lip slid up towards his cheekbone a little more. Blaine wasn't entirely sure what to say.

"Would you sing me a song Blaine?"

"What…now?"

"No. Not now…whenever. I mean one of your own. One from your notebook."

"I'd…like that"

"Great" Blaine grinned widely at Kurt's obvious enthusiasm. They sat in the cool air for some time in silence, merely enjoying the fresh scent that seemed to come along with darkness.

They both began to shiver within seconds of each other, huddling themselves into their own bodies. Kurt's teeth began chattering loudly and after a suggestion from Blaine they both moved back inside. Kurt paused at the fridge "I don't really want to go back out there. Shall we just head up?" Blaine nodded and as subtly as they could, they slid past the living room door and stepped quietly upstairs. It was blissfully comfortable in Kurt's room. He pulled the curtains closed and then turned, motioning towards the dvd wrack on his desk "fancy watching a movie?"

"Got any Disney?"

"Oh please. I could go for The Little Mermaid. What do you think?" Blaine nodded

"I'm always up for The Little Mermaid." Kurt smiled in response and moved towards the tv mounted on the wall opposite his bed. Blaine admired his room properly this time, taking in the details. Though he was sure anyone would be able to guess whose room this was just by decoration, there was also the little things dotted around that just added to the Kurt-ness of it all. Like the way a book was peeking out from just under the bed like Kurt had fallen asleep reading and dropped or pushed it off the bed accidentally. Or the circular stain on his nightstand that spoke to Blaine of early morning coffee and late night hot chocolate. The throw pillows at the head of his bed were mismatched, a couple tatty looking and worn, but it looked perfect against the otherwise well coordinated décor. He was brought to his senses by something soft hitting his arm and falling to the floor. He looked down at the pile of fabric on the floor and then up at Kurt.

"They may be a little big, but I figured you might be more comfortable in those rather than those braces" he raised a finger shyly. Blaine reddened

"Oh" he bent down and picked them up. "I'll just…" he half turned towards the door.

"Bathroom's the door opposite Finn's" Blaine thanked him and stepped out. His sobriety was making itself known as he made his way easily down the corridor, locking the door after him. He splashed his face and stood topless for a few moments, cooling down. He was about to spend over an hour sat in the dark in close proximity with Kurt watching a movie he usually cried at. Nothing could go wrong…right? He slipped into the pyjamas, frowning at the bunched material around his ankles. He hadn't thought there to be that much of a height difference. He rolled the tops of the pants up a couple of inches and then satisfied with how he looked, made his way back to the bedroom. This felt completely normal. Blaine knocked lightly, entering at Kurt's voice. He was pressed back against the headboard, passing the remote between his hands. "Turn the light out would you? Don't trip on anything"

Blaine placed his clothed down neatly on a chair in the corner and then flicked off the lights, zombie-ing over to the bed rather more successfully that he would have expected. He slipped onto the edge, bumping shoulders with Kurt as he shuffled backwards.

"Sorry" he murmured, shifting a little so he wasn't pressed up against the boy.

"Ready?" Blaine nodded and then realised Kurt couldn't see him

"Sure" he watched as the screen changed from menu to movie, that all too familiar tingle across his skin warming him as Cinderella's castle flashed up before him. Disney movies always captivated him, and if Kurt was the same he figured there would be many more evening spent just like this. And he would be completely content.

About halfway in, both of them having laughed out loud at each other's ridiculous Sebastian impressions during_ Under The Sea_, Blaine felt himself begin to flag. It wasn't that late, but he hadn't slept more than four hours in the last forty eight and it was warm and comfortable. He nodded once and then shook himself a little, moving up a bit more and hugging his legs. He really, _really_ didn't want to fall asleep on Kurt's bed and risk awkward cuddling. Blaine was one for wrapping his arms around anything huggable these days.

He made it as far as Kiss The Girl before he began to nod.

"Get under the cover if you want. I'll wake you when it's done if you fall asleep" Kurt's voice was no more than a whisper but it shocked Blaine out of his skin. He let out a sigh of relief and then laughed.

"I'm fine, honest" he cleared his throat and turned back to the screen.

"Blaine, seriously, you haven't slept I can tell. Just get under the cover already"

"Are you-"

"_Blaine_" he dipped his head and pulled back the comforter to slide under. It was even more lush beneath, so much so that he was nodding more often and finding it harder to focus on the screen ahead of him. He felt rather than heard Kurt's sigh of adoration as the movie neared its finish, although all he knew before he dropped off completely was not feeling the weight next to him relinquish. _Huh, odd._

* * *

Whatever notion Kurt had had in his head when deciding to just stay in bed with Blaine was completely wiped from his mind when he woke slowly to find himself half wrapped around the guy. At first, he didn't even open his eyes, he just lay with one leg tangled with Blaine's and an arm slung over his waist. He came to his senses slowly, inhaling the scent of Blaine's hair gel and then he actually realised he was inhaling the scent of Blaine's hair gel and holy crap he was_ inhaling the scent of Blaine's hair gel_. Everything moved very quickly after that.

His eyes shot open in horror and he pulled his arm and leg back instantly, waking Blaine in the process. The other boy grumbled for a few moments's before realising what had woken him. He half turned and squinted over sleepily at Kurt who was sat up with the comforter pulled up over his knees. He smiled.

"Hi"

"Hi"

Kurt sat and stared for another ten seconds or so until Blaine woke enough to realise that yes, he was in bed with Kurt. And they had school in…an hour.

Kurt almost fell out of bed in his rush to get up.

"Kurt what-"

"We have school like, now, Blaine get up" he threw clothes in his direction "They should fit you just hurry up. I'll use my en suite" Kurt rifled through his wardrobe for a few more seconds until he heard Blaine leave the room. Then he stopped to think.

So this wasn't a big deal. He'd just been tired last night, eager to get to sleep. If he'd gotten up to make up the sofa bed he would have woken Blaine anyway. Really, he had been completely selfless in his decision. It wasn't anything to do with the fact that the nights were beginning to get cold and he welcomed the companion heat next to him. Or the fact that after the conversation with Blaine the night before he didn't really feel like being alone. They both must have slept pretty deeply considering how rowdy the party must have gotten one floor down. He stepped out of the room and banged on both the guest bedroom door and Finn's room he got groans and whimpers in reply but stopped abruptly outside the bathroom. The shower was running and…

_...Blaine was singing._

It wasn't a tune he recognised but it was like nothing he'd heard from Blaine before. He'd heard Blaine sing on more than one occasion but the Warbler singing chirpily in harmony with the rest of the group was nothing like the Blaine he heard now. He tip toed closer to the door and pressed his ear up against it to listen.

_…So won't you run to me tonight, do not pretend that we're just lovers_  
_But I'll only ever be, a middle distance runner_

_Well my heart is beating hard, and I'm off with the shot at the start_  
_And my legs tremble from strain, but by the finish line I am drained_

He began humming after that and Kurt figured he should go get ready before Blaine opened the door and found him stood there like that. He stepped dazedly towards his room and practically fell into the shower.

Blaine's voice was mesmerizing.

His morning pattern was sped up slightly due to their lack of time but he still found comfort in the routine of it. The steam of the shower relaxed him, washing all of those vexations down the drain with the soap. And the whole time he couldn't get the sound of Blaine's voice out of his head He towelled his hair dry before his body and dressed carefully. He picked out one of his plainer sweaters, coupling it with a rather busy pair of tight jeans and his staple boots. His hair took a bit longer to style than his outfit and when he exited the bathroom half an hour later, Blaine was already dressed and ready, perched on the end of his bed (which, Kurt noted, had been made neatly, each pillow placed perfectly). He had picked out a long sleeved shirt for Blaine but he had decided to discard Kurt's offered pants and slipped on his own loose fitting jeans along with the sneakers he had come in the day before. His hair (much to Kurt delight) was loose and curly about his head. If anything, Blaine looked a lot more himself today, even if the fashion taste was more to Kurt's chagrin.

He smiled wearily. "I don't know about you, but I need coffee. Lima Bean? We can get take out." Blaine nodded amiably and followed Kurt out of the door quietly. No further were they toward the stairs when Elwy came stumbling out of the spare bedroom, a hickey the size of Africa adorning the side of his neck. Kurt arched an eyebrow.

"I'd run if I were you" Elwy squeezed his eyes shut, shook his head and then practically flew down the stairs and out the door. He was jogging along the street when they both reached their respective cars. "He's going to have a brilliant first day" Kurt murmured, pausing by the door to his navigator. He placed a hand on the window and opened his mouth to speak just as Blaine was turning towards his own car. "I…Blaine?"

He turned; all bouncy curls and cheerful expression and Kurt choked. He closed his mouth, nodded "meet you there?" Blaine smiled in reply.

Needless to say, Blaine reached the Lima bean first in his Porsche. Kurt followed him in, only to almost smack into him as he came trundling out the door with two take out cups in his hand.

"Grande non fat mocha?" Kurt just stood, stunned and then went to pay him back. Blaine shook his head "this one's on me. A thanks for last night" Kurt took the cup and rolled his eyes.

"When are you going to stop thanking me?"

"When you stop doing awesome things for me that I don't deserve"

"Blaine, you deserve everything you get in the way of positives. You just need to see that…and then things will get better" Blaine chewed his lip in reply. They both automatically made their way to the grassed area behind the shop. It seemed they'd found their own little spot of peace and quiet. They seated themselves beside each other, enjoying the crisp morning. Neither of them was nursing hangovers luckily.

They sat in silence for the most part, a couple of words exchanged here and there. When Kurt felt the contents of his cup swilling lightly around the bottom, he took a breath to bring up the topic he had been dreading

"I'm erm, sorry about this morning by the way. I didn't man to roll over like that. I'm just not used to having someone else in the bed"

Blaine swallowed his drink visibly and when he spoke it sounded as if it had gone down the wrong way

"Oh no, no worries it's fine honestly I'm used to my cousins rolling onto me when I share a bed with them" his eyes widened "I erm they're like six year old girls. I read them a story and they normally fall asleep in bed with me." He reddened and fiddled with the lid of his disposable coffee cup.

"We should probably get going. I gotta make sure Elwy remembers where he's going" Kurt glanced at his watch and then stood, pulling Blaine up by the hand. They were halfway towards their side by side parked cars when Kurt remembered what he had wanted to ask Blaine. "OH! I completely forgot. I was wondering if you would come to Glee this afternoon?" he clasped his hands together in front of him "for moral support. Elwy wants to audition and it would be nice if he had a few more friendly faces among the crowd"

"Doesn't he know all the Glee members anyway?" he said, taking out his keys

"Well yes, but that's not the point. Pleeeeeeeeease? I'll buy you coffee for the rest of the week?"

"Kurt…are you asking to go out for coffee every day this week with me?" he arched an eyebrow.

"If it get's you to Glee this afternoon, then yes" he deadpanned.

"Oh…right yeah. Well I can't see why not. Not like I'm busy" he added sarcastically. Kurt touched his elbow sympathetically

"Hey, it'll be okay. And you always have me to fall back on if need be okay?" Kurt smiled, hoping it looked reassuring. Blaine nodded and then made to open his car door. Kurt turned and slid the keys into his own. Parked next to Blaine's like it was it looked like a wreck. He made a note to make sure it was at least clean when he was going out with Blaine. He slid in and rolled his window down, Blaine doing the same. He leant over in his seat and called through "see you at lunch?"

Blaine simply grinned and pulled off.

* * *

If there were a way to describe American High Schools in comparison to the one he had attended back in the UK, Elwy would probably just say batshit crazy. Having been lost four times in the space of fifteen he resolved to simply make his way out and try and navigate that way.

Wasn't as easy as it sounded.

The first problem he faced was the fact that every time he opened his mouth to ask where he was he'd either get a snort, a befuddled expression or the threat of a slushie. So he ended up bricking it alone and hoping for the best. Which, of course, wasn't happening. Kurt had left him at the main office, where he'd promptly been filled in on all his classes and handed a timetable he couldn't even understand. Even with one year at McKinley under his belt he was still having difficulty.

From outside, the place was a lot easier to riddle out; he found himself stumbling into English (with Kurt, thank God) only half an hour late, clutching a late pass and breathing a little heavier than usual. He was introduced and then pointed to a seat next to Kurt (another lucky escape). They shared a grin and fell easily into their own silent form of communication as the lesson resumed. He told Kurt that the bruise of the side of his neck was Santana's gift and that she had discarded him about an hour after himself and Blaine had disappeared. In turn, he learnt that nothing had happened between him and Blaine but that maybe there could have been, and that Kurt had heard him singing in the shower that morning. They both needed time to sit and talk properly about the previous night and Elwy was grateful out of his mind as Lunch came rolling by and they both found a seat out of the way and began talking with voices again.

"Well if you look at it this way; what are the odds that you are going to regret it if you do as opposed to if you don't? CARPE DIEM cariad"

"Seriously you got to stop calling me cariad El"

"Nope. Not happening." Kurt rolled his eyes fondly. "And stop changing the subject!" he stabbed his fork in Kurt's direction

"Ugh I don't know. I just get the feeling…you know when you just have that instinct that there's something more. Like maybe…maybe he's having the same issues as me? He's pretty guarded-"

"As are you"

"Yes, but I mean what if I scare him away by coming on too strong?"

"Well there's only one way to find out isn't there?"

"You're not being helpful at-"

"Speak of the devil. Shut up"

"What?" Kurt span in his seat. Elwy waved the bewildered looking boy over to their table and smiled warmly as Blaine slipped in beside Kurt.

"You don't mind if I join you guys?" Blaine asked shyly

"As long as no panic attacks are on the cards" Elwy teased. Kurt kicked him under the table and shot him a death glare. Elwy merely shrugged. "Sorry. You'll have to get used to my humour. The Welsh are very sarcastic"

"Don't worry about it. My brother has a pretty terrible sense of humour too" Blaine countered, arching an eyebrow. Elwy mirrored him, nodding in approval.

"Well played Anderson, I could grow to like you"

"_ohmygawd_" Kurt let his hand fall into his palm much to the two other boys' amusement.

"Sorry cariad I'll stop now. Leave the flirting down to you two" Blaine chuckled lightly

"I don't know where all the confidence has come from." Kurt smirked "have you remembered what you're doing this afternoon?" Elwy's heart dropped as his mind flashed with his agreement with Kurt. He cursed under his breath.

Kurt grinned wider, placing his chin atop his hands.

"hey, you agreed. No going back now." He said and then added "I invited Blaine by the way. For moral support" Elwy's head snapped upwards

"You invited more people? Oh fi_ casineb_ chi Kurt…" he dropped his head to his hands again, suddenly wracked with nerves. In his panic over finding class before graduation came around, he'd completely forgotten about his impromptu audition for the club he had refused to become a part of for months until Kurt threatened to call Lily and confess his unadulterated love for her. To Elwy's great dismay, Kurt could put on a brilliant Welsh accent and would have no trouble mimicking him if need be. So he'd agonized over song choice until one popped up in his mind. It was something he and Kurt had grown rather attached to back when they used to gush over skype while watching the X factor together. Elwy had fallen in love with this particular artist and the song in question became somewhat of a theme tune for them both. In all honesty, the closer it got to Glee, the more he was regretting the decision.

"Oh shut up. They'll love you. Have you chosen a song?" Kurt asked curiously

"Matt Cardle" Elwy replied simply from behind his hand. He didn't see Kurt's momentary look of confusion but he heard the sigh of understanding that followed.

"Of course." Elwy looked up between his fingers to see him turning to Blaine "I think you'll like it. Matt is very singer songwritery. Right up your street. Any specifics?" he added in Elwy's direction.

"Wait and see" he said grimly.

"Oh cheer up, everyone will love it, you'll wow them and then maybeeeee" he turned his puppy dog eyes in Blaine's direction "we can work on Mr Dapper Pants here?" Blaine's eyes went wide and he shook his head

"No, no oh no definitely not."

"But you were so good with the Warblers"

"I was a different person back then Kurt" he spoke quietly, only just above a whisper "as cheesy as that sounds. I don't do audiences anymore" Kurt looked disgruntled as he turned back to his sparsely laden tray. Elwy arched an eyebrow.

"Is that all you're eating Kurt?" he motioned towards the apple and water bottle. Kurt shrugged.

"Not really hungry" Elwy fixed him with a worried expression for a few moments before shaking it off to focus back on his own problems. His head was still pulsing slightly as a result of the alcohol consumed the night before and he'd woken up with a terrible twinge in his neck from they way he'd fallen asleep…halfway off the guest bed. He groaned, realising something

"Kurt, I haven't even brought my guitar"

"There are guitars in the choir room, you can use one of those" he replied simply. Elwy rolled his eyes and pushed his half eaten meal away, suddenly not hungry.

"If it's any conciliation" Blaine spoke up, rather chirpily for him "when I auditioned for the Warblers I wasn't wearing any clothes" Kurt snorted so hard he blew half of the apple in his mouth onto the tray in front of him, trying not to choke. Elwy just raised an eyebrow. "I was in the shower in my dorm and I was singing and my roommate overheard me and…well" he shrugged "I had to audition formally of course but there's nothing more embarrassing than a guy you hardly know leaping into the room all excited. Freaked me the hell out anyway." They all laughed, albeit Elwy a little weaker than the others.

"You'll be fine. Sugar got in and she can't sing a note." Kurt croaked, rubbing his throat "I have every confidence in you"

Problem was, Elwy didn't have any in himself.

* * *

The rest if the day passed without much incidence. He didn't share any more lessons with Kurt but they bumped into each other a couple of times at their lockers (which, after some strings pulled by Kurt, were placed next to each other) but other than that he didn't see either Kurt or Blaine until he was turning into the choir room, Kurt pushing him forcefully. His nerves hadn't abated one bit since lunch and a sick feeling was beginning to settle in his stomach.

The rest of the class acknowledged him with waves and nods (he even got a hi5 off Sam) and he plopped himself down on a chair just in front of Kurt. The other boy grabbed Blaine by the wrist (Elwy couldn't remember when he had turned up, but then again he didn't really remember much of the rest of the day) and dragged him up to a couple of seats slightly higher up.

The room around him was buzzing with conversation but Elwy was aware of none of it. He watch as Mr Schuester entered the room, smiled in recognition and asked if he was joining. Kurt spoke for him when he couldn't find the words, then there was a round of cheers and applause and he was suddenly sat on a stool with a guitar strap slung around his shoulders and his fingers running along the neck to get a feel for the instrument.

He looked up to find Kurt and saw his smiling face nodding slightly. He cleared his throat.

"A lot of you probably won't recognise this but it's a song I've liked for a while and I honestly adore the artist so…yeah"

He began to strum slowly, fingers slipping along the frets effortlessly. He felt his muscles begin to relax as he approached the first verse smoothly, filling his lungs and preparing his voice.

_Use your eyes, oh father 'Cause I had a dream last night  
I saw her body broke, still and cold where she lay  
And it was all for nothing, this love I gave _

He looked up again as he hit the chorus, seeing Kurt's head bowed in recognition.

_And I pray you keep her safe, bring her home, keep harm away  
And I pray, don't let me down, bring her back 'cause I need her now  
I pray, someone else can take her place  
Don't make it all for nothing, this love we made_

When he usually played this particular tune, he swapped the lyrics to make it more gender specific but figuring that there may be at least one person among the small crowd that recognised it, he decided against the notion. Wouldn't want people getting ideas would he?

_She's my best friend, oh mother, no other woman could turn my eye, drag me away  
with the blessing comes the worry, and I worry  
don't make it all for nothing, the love we made_

People were swaying along as he hit the chorus again, bouncing his foot along with the beat running through his head. The familiar rasp in his voice flowed comfortably loud across the room, engaging the majority of the people sat across from him. Blaine however, Elwy noted, was sat still, gazing curiously between himself and Kurt who was nodding his head and miming the words silently. Elwy's fingers pulled away from the strings for a moment before he fell quietly into the bridge

_Falling in love is like playing with fire, pulling me down but it's takin' me higher  
I know it's my fault and I'm asking for favours, I needed a knife but you gave me the razor_

_And I pray you keep her safe, bring her home, keep harm away  
And I pray, don't let me down, bring her back 'cause I need her now  
I pray, someone else can take her place  
Don't make it all for nothing, this love we made_

He dampened the strings and sang the last line a cappella

_Don't make it all for nothing, this love we made_

There was a few moments of silence and then the place erupted. Rachel was clapping appreciatively and both Artie and Finn were whooping loudly. He stepped off the stool and handed off the guitar just as Mr Schue patted him softly on the back.

"Well I'm impressed. If I'd known you had that much talent maybe I would have started up Glee club earlier than I did!" Elwy just nodded and made his back to his seat. Kurt leant forward and wrapped him in a hug from behind.

"Well done" he whispered. Elwy smiled up in return as he pulled back. He grinned around at the rest of the room as things settled into themes and choreography and how Rachel wasn't getting another solo. Elwy stayed quiet, being the wallflower and allowing himself to relax as the nerves of the day slowly dissipated until he was left with nothing more than a warm, contentment.

When they exited an hour later, tired and sore considering the majority of the group were still hung-over from the night before, Elwy headed to his locker and was joined presently by a happy looking Kurt. Alone, this time.

"Well, I think I've managed it"

"Managed what?" he asked, shuffling books around in his bag.

"To convince Blaine to audition. You haven't heard his voice El it's breathtaking" he sounded awestruck.

Elwy chewed over a reply for a moment and then rolled his eyes, sighing.

"You are so fucked over by him, Kurt. Why aren't you dating the guy already?"

"_Elwy!"_ he scolded, turning a nice shade of scarlet as he fiddled with his own locker combo.

"I'm serious!" he continued, swapping around the contents of his bag and locker. He'd come fresh from A Levels and knew it was going to be tough but the workload he'd received was more than a little bit daunting. He reassured himself it was just the adjustment that was making it look so terrifying. "You never stop talking about him, you're trying to get him into a club where he could be your possible competition, he's literally perfect for you and you listened to him singing in the _shower. _Ask. Him. out." he slammed his locker shut and leant against the door as Kurt finished up with his own sorting.

"I don't know…we've talked about this. I don't think either of us are up to it. I don't need to be in a relationship to be happy El" Elwy sighed again, letting his head fall sideways onto his locker.

"Are you listening to yourself? Who was it that spent three out of the four weeks in Wales non stop jabbering about falling in love, coffee dates and romantic dinners?"

"I'm not the same person I was then, that's obvious. I've been through a lot with Karofsky and…I've seen that there are more important things in life. Like making sure I spend enough time with my Dad and when am I going to find time for a boyfriend anyway? Plus I'm a year ahead of Blaine, once I leave he'd be here and I'd be there. Do I need to reiterate how hard it is to maintain a long distance relationship?" he pushed his own locker closed and they began to walk slowly through towards the parking lot.

"We managed didn't we? And it's not like you couldn't just jump on a plane or train if need be. We couldn't do that"

"I suppose but…what if…what if I'm making it up? What if he doesn't actually want anything like that?" Elwy examined his friend for a moment and took in how genuinely concerned about this fact as he was. He couldn't help but laugh. "What?" Kurt asked suspiciously

"Oh cariad you can be clueless sometimes." They'd reached the lot and had to split off. Elwy noticed Blaine stood leaning against his own car and raised a hand. Kurt looked at the floor. Elwy only took a moment to put two and two together "Wait…is he waiting for you?"

"We're going for coffee" Kurt mumbled "I made him a deal that if he came today I would go for coffee with him every night this week" he cleared his throat immediately after speaking, looking anywhere but at Elwy, who was shaking his head in disbelief.

"Clueless. Honestly. Look" he hitched his bag a little higher on his shoulder "if he's the guys I think he is, and I pride myself on being an admirable judge of character, doing something that is entirely _you_ is bound to have him as fucked over as you are, trust me. Maybe a picnic or…something moonlit and romantic." He patted Kurt on the shoulder and turned for home "_Carpe Diem_ Kurt!" he called over, loud enough for Blaine to hear. He raised his hand in farewell and began walking in the other direction.

_He_ may be hopeless when it came to dating, but he had to give himself credit, he was a bloody good matchmaker when it came down to it.

* * *

Yet again, Kurt found himself arriving second to the Lima Bean. Really, they ought to carpool to save his embarrassment. He stepped out and entered the shop to find Blaine at the head of the queue. He motioned Kurt forward.

"I already ordered. Figured seeing as I was here first" he shrugged as he handed over his money. Kurt reached for his own. "Leave it" he added "you can pay tomorrow" Kurt nodded in agreement and went ahead to grab their usual table.

Blaine followed not moment's later and slid into his seat, pushing Kurt's coffee across the table to a murmured thanks. They fell into a comfortable silence as they both regarded their surroundings. It seemed they were both the anthropologist.

"So" Kurt spoke finally "what did you think of Elwy's performance?"

"He was awesome, honestly, I wasn't expecting that kind of voice from him."

"I tried to persuade him to make something of it but he's pretty dead set on pursuing writing. I guess I should be glad, he wouldn't be here if not for that."

"How does that work?" Blaine asked over the top of his mug, blowing rather distractedly to cool the liquid. Kurt opened his mouth to talk but found his gaze transfixed as Blaine fit his lips over the porcelain. He watched as he took a sip and then placed the cup down.

"Kurt?"

"Huh? Oh yeah right sorry" he swallowed, willing his tongue to begin working again. "He entered a competition through his school and ended up at the national finals. The prize was a year out here and he was one of the four winners. He's staying with a host family just down the road from me. He's got all the luck in the world"

"I bet" Blaine breathed in reply. For some reason, his nerves about asking Blaine out were beginning to get the better of him. He reached up to fix his hair more often than was really necessary and he kept adjusting his pea coat. Apparently, his fidgeting hadn't gone unnoticed.

"Kurt, are you okay? You seem a little on edge?"

"Me? Yeah, I'm fine. Totally" he tried to sound convincing but the look on Blaine's face told him clearly he wasn't doing a very good job. Well, there was only one way to solve that.

"Blaine…" he started, forcing himself to relax "_willyougooutwime_" Blaine's eyes screwed up in confusion

"Sorry, I didn't catch that" _oh Hummel come on, you're not Harry and he isn't Cho Change. Get a grip!_ He took a calming breath.

"Blaine Anderson, will you go out with me?"

Blaine chuckled to Kurt's confusion

"We're kinda already out silly" Kurt rolled his eyes, relaxing fully now he'd got the thing out in the open.

"No I mean,_ out_ out. With me. Like a date"

Blaine's expression went from amusement to surprise at the speed of a bullet, and then he became all jittery and honestly, Kurt couldn't help but grin at the adorableness of it. "I'm kinda dying here" he prompted. Blaine sighed in exasperation

"Yes, yeah I mean yes of course. I'd love to" they grinned at each other for a few moments before they both laughed and let their gazes fall.

"You most definitely have to try out for Glee now" Kurt said, only half sternly.

"Don't get cocky Hummel, we've not even been out yet" and to Kurt's complete surprise…he _winked._ Kurt arched an eyebrow

"Well I would say having managed to convince you to both go on a date with me and audition for Glee has me worthy of a little cockiness" Blaine dropped his head to his chest.

"I'm going to change the subject now before you out wit me" he chuckled "you recognised the song Elwy sang"

Kurt rolled his eyes but nodded

"We were talking about Matt Cardle at lunch today am I right? Well he won the British X factor a couple of years ago and well, we're junkies and fell for him almost instantly. That song…it was relevant to both of us I suppose." He shrugged and took a mouthful of coffee.

"I didn't pick you for someone into that kind of stuff" he murmured

"I'm not usually, but seriously Blaine, you need to hear his stuff, it's amazing. I actually think I have some stuff Elwy recorded when he saw him live. I'll link you to it tonight" Blaine nodded his thanks. Kurt sighed, melting a little it at the way Blaine was looking around the place curiously. Some kind of change had come upon Blaine over the last day. He had _winked_, for LuPone's sake. He wasn't fiddling with his sleeves like usual and his shoulders weren't slumped as was their wont. He seemed…positive, and much more like the Warbler he used to be. Which was strange, because from what Kurt had gathered, he'd had this trouble much before his time at Dalton. Either way, he was glad. It made the prospect of their Saturday date even more exciting. All he needed to do was get him through the rest of the week. He could do that right?

The drive home was oddly lonely. He turned the music up loud and nodded his head along to the beat, singing along where the key allowed. He reached home to the divine scent of Carole's cooking wafting through the house. His dad not being home, it was liable to be something the family had to avoid normally, looking after his health.

Kurt dropped his bag by the door and sidled into the kitchen where Carole was indeed stirring something delectable over the stove. Perfect timing for one of their girly talks.

"Hey honey, good day?" she asked as he entered

"You could say that" he said airily as he slid into a chair.

"Oh I know that voice. Someone has a crush" she teased, grinning mischievously over at him.

"Not just a crush" Kurt replied. "_A date_" his stepmother's eyes widened in excitement and she motioned him over

"Come help me with this and tell me all about this fabulous new man in your life"

"oh, just you wait. he's hot _and_ he's fabulous"


	8. Chapter 8

**_A/N:_** Not much to say about this chapter but SQUEEEE. Yes, i actually squeed writing this chapter. I hope i got this right! (you'll know what i mean)

Enjoy!

* * *

Cooper's apartment was cosy, but not cloying. The rooms were well proportioned if a little small, but Blaine figured that feeling would disappear once the place had a bit of homely furniture scattered around. Blaine was all over it, but for now just sit on the floor with a cup of tea and his brother's company was enough.

"I'm freaking out Coop"

"Alright chill out, let's think.

Blaine had spent the majority of the afternoon pacing around his room torn between feeling absolutely elated at the fact that he had a date with Kurt Hummel on Saturday, and complete panic. _He had a date with Kurt Hummel on Saturday_. He'd called as soon as was possible and his brother was more than happy to invite him over and allow him to regale the days (and nights) events. At first, his brother had been a little shocked at the fact that Blaine had managed an entire evening without going completely nuts but Blaine assured him it was most likely the alcohol. He whooped when he mentioned the bed incident and then clapped a hand over his mouth when the cuddling came up ("honestly it was the most awkward thing ever" "any awkward morning boners?" "_COOPER!"_ "Just curious"). Over all he seemed impressed that Blaine was finally finding himself a place to settle comfortably, as much as he himself felt he'd finally found somewhere he could let himself open up a little.

Of course, thing's weren't going to change like that, and there was still the case of dealing with his father (who, up to this point, he hadn't actually bumped into) but weirdly, things were looking up. The lines adorning his wrists were still evident, a constant reminder of worse times, but maybe…possibly…he was getting through that. And he owed it all to Kurt.

"I don't even know what he has planned. I don't know what to wear. What if I dress too warm? Or too cold? Or I could…" Cooper glared at him until he trailed off and dropped his nose to his tea. "Sorry"

"It's your first real date Blainers, it's normal to be nervous. Plus that guy is hot and you are seriously pulling"

"Cooper"

"Alright sorry, I'm sure he'd be flattered to know I was complimenting him" Blaine's eyes widened at his words

"Oh crap, oh no…he's been complimenting me all week and I haven't said a word I mean do I compliment him on Saturday? What do I say?" he gazed intently at Cooper, pleading for advice.

"Can't you think of a single thing" his brother asked over his own tea. Blaine scoffed.

"Too many things. He's literally perfect but I can't just go up to him and say that can I? Way to freak the guy out" he took a sip of the warm liquid cupped between his hands. He felt it burn a path down to his stomach and sighed at the familiar sensation.

"Well you don't have to say it in so many words. Be subtle. He's intelligent, he'd appreciate that"

"Subtle, got it" he checked it off of the imaginary list in his mind. "Should I take something? Flowers or, or maybe…"

"Didn't you do that before?"

"I bought him a rose but that was a thank you. This is different. I'd look like lieutenant lame if I was thanking him for going on a date with me. It was him that asked me after all" his stomach did a tiny flip as he spoke the words aloud. _Kurt had asked him out._ He was eternally grateful to be honest, knowing he would never have plucked up the courage to ask him himself. He would have most likely gone all year and not say a word. Kurt would be gone and Blaine would be stuck in Ohio for another year filled with regret…and regret did nothing for his self esteem.

He came upon a wall in his thinking as his mind swept over that fact. He'd not thought of it before but it was true. Next year Kurt wouldn't even be here. Blaine was slowly building up this connection with him; a connection he knew would eventually be very hard to break, only to be left alone for another 365 days. And that was still dependant on Blaine's plans for his future. What did he even want to do? He knew he would follow Kurt wherever, and that thought scared the crap out of him. His future was coming _now_, and he was petrified.

"Well why don't you text him…maybe not now." Blaine startled, turning his attention back to his brother and pushing the scary thoughts to the back of his mind "Leave it a couple of days and if he doesn't tell you what's planned shoot him a message as subtly as you can and see if he'll give you any hints. No point taking chocolates if you're going to the zoo." They both chuckled, Blaine's panic beginning to evaporate as his thoughts traced back to how easily they both fell into conversation every time they went for coffee. Really, it still surprised him to think of spending time with someone other than his family, and have a completely cordial conversation, even laugh. He wanted to explain to Cooper, to get him to understand how much Kurt meant to him.

"Cooper he…I can't explain it" he placed his tea down next to him and crossed his legs, using his hands to try and articulate to Cooper how seriously he meant what he was saying "it's like he just dive bombed into my life, like this bright ray of sunshine and just completely sent me flying. I don't feel as…empty as I did before. It's like every time I see him he fills me with this weird sense that maybe I'm…healing. I've never felt so…home" he looked up at his brother to see him smiling in awe

"Oh Blainers you_ really _got it bad. I mean it, I've never heard you talk about anyone like this" he sounded reverent

"It's hard not to" he laughed, getting caught up in the emotion and excitement coursing through his body "I can't even find the words Coop, he's like my own guardian angel like he's just waved his wand and suddenly I feel like…me again. Like the me before Dalton. And that kinda freaks me out" he said a little quieter, coming down from his high with a bit of a bump. "Should I even be feeling this? I mean I've only known the guy a few weeks."

"I don't think time really matters in these things Blaine. Just see how things go on Saturday. Meanwhile, are you staying for food?" Blaine glanced at his watch and narrowed his eyes.

"I don't know. I didn't tell dad I was staying at Kurt's last night. I haven't seen him since Sunday morning."

"Oh"

"Yeah"

"You know I really don't want you going back there again without me" all trace of humour had gone from his bother's voice and the joy Blaine had been feeling only moments ago had faded into something like a dull worry. He was nervous yes; going home to his parents wasn't something he had really considered, what with the party and Glee and Kurt. Kurt shoved all things from his mind on a daily basis. However, he couldn't stay with Cooper forever. At one point or another he would need to return to the place he loathed. His only hope was his mother, and he hoped against hope that she would be home when he opened the door later that evening.

"I know but…I don't want you and Dad to end up blowing up again. I'd rather just get in there as unnoticed as possible. If I eat here at least I can get out of dinner. They'll hardly know I'm there" he reassured his brother, leaning over and patting his on the arm "I promise"

"If you're sure…but make sure to call me if you need me right?" Blaine nodded "right then, food?"

Blaine grinned.

* * *

They ended up getting Chinese in because of course, Cooper hadn't gone out and done a shop yet ("jeez, what am I? An adult?") And with a stomach full of noodles, Blaine sped off for home, dreading it with every inch of his tiny body.

He arrived outside just as the sun was setting over the ochre's of the avenue. Even with the warm light filtering softly across the grass and the panels of the house, it still struck a cold chord inside his chest. He heaved a sigh, delaying his entrance as long as was physically possible. He didn't even bother going into the effort of parking his car in the garage, knowing how unlikely it was that there would be trouble in this part of town. He shoved his hands into his pockets and shouldered his way through the house, not bothering to remove his coat by the door but staying as hunched over as he could. He could hear voices drifting through from the kitchen and made his way warily towards them. Both his parents looked up at his entrance, his mother relaxing instantly, rubbing a hand over her face.

"Blaine, where the hell have you been?" she asked sharply

"I…school. And then I…went to see Cooper" he glanced up at his father as he spoke, hands burying themselves a little deeper into his jacket pockets.

"Cooper is in California how did you-"

"You didn't come home last night." His father cut in "Your mother was worried sick" he didn't sound worried in the slightest and that if anything, made Blaine smile, despite it all. He let out a laugh.

"Because you totally care Dad"

"Now don't you start-"

"Christian" his mother intoned, raising a hand without looking away from Blaine "we just want to know where you were"

"At a friends" he said shortly

"A friends" his mother deadpanned.

"Yeah"

"And which friend would this be?"

"Just a friend?" panic began to rise in his chest. The last thing he needed was his parents finding out about Kurt. He was pretty sure he'd be back in Dalton in a heartbeat if they knew he was dating the guy. Wait, _will_ be dating the guy.

"I'm going to need you to be more specific" his Father spoke up, pushing himself off the counter where he had been leaning and crossing his arms across his chest

"Why?" he replied "not like you want to know" he added under his voice.

"Excuse me?"

A sudden wave of courage took him and he found his mouth moving without his mind's consent.

"Well it's not like you care is it? If you did you would have called me, or Cooper. You knew I was with him yesterday! And he's settling into his apartment fine, thanks for asking"

"His apartment?" his mother said, sounding surprised. She looked between her son and husband confusedly. Blaine's eyebrows crept up his forehead.

"He didn't tell you? Dad kicked Cooper out yesterday." His mother's jaw dropped.

"Is this true?" she shot venomously at her husband.

"We had an argument and I merely meant to give ourselves some space" Blaine could feel the tension flowing between his parents and chose his moment.

"Well I have work to do" he said slowly. They hardly noticed when he backed out of the room and practically sprinted up the stairs.

That was the problem with his parents; they were brilliant and noticing things, just not the _right_ things.

He closed his door quietly and dropped his bag before falling face first onto the bed. He felt sick, weary and fed up. He realised too late Cooper's offer of a place to stay for another night might have been well taken up. He rolled up and off the bed and set to work, piling books and papers on his desk before locating his latest assignments and settling back down on top of his comforter to study.

His hand flowed effortlessly across the page for the first half an hour or so, only pausing to check a reference or scratch the back of his neck in confusion. It wasn't until he hit a difficult patch that that insistent niggling under his skin started up again, after lying dormant for most of the day.

He wrote out an equation, it was simple enough but he just couldn't get his head around it. He prodded digits into his calculator repeatedly, sighing in frustration when the answer came out all wrong. He wrote it out again, typed in the numbers and groaned loudly when he came up with the same result. He screwed up the piece of paper and threw it in the general direction of the bin. For a third time he wrote it out, worked it out and _why is this so difficult._

He swiped the paper off the side of his bed and fell back against the headboard angrily, clasping his hands behind his neck and burying his face in his arm, breathing heavily. The feeling of inadequacy began to creep up on him, making his skin crawl with self loathing. He sat up, meeting his reflection in the mirror on the dresser ahead of him. He felt sick to his stomach. Without conscious thought, he began to play with the hems of his sleeves, pushing his legs off the end of his bed and letting his eyes flicker towards the bathroom door. He could just…_no. _He took a deep breath, closing his eyes and balling his hands up next to him to still them. It struck him that he still had Kurt, and Kurt seemed to think he was alright, even if Blaine didn't.

He was halfway to his phone to call him when he stopped himself. He didn't want to be a burden to Kurt, as much as the boy had assured him that he didn't mind. He wanted to be there for Kurt just as much as he was there for Blaine. He picked up the paper from the floor and placed it on the nightstand before standing and stripping the top from his body and throwing it into the hamper in the corner of the room. He was about to settle back onto his bed to start on his reading for English when the yelling began.

Blaine stiffened instantly, reconsidering a phone call to Kurt. No, a phone call wouldn't be enough. He needed to get out of the house.

He packed a bag quickly, hands moving in a well rehearsed flurry of actions. He slipped in folded items of clothing along with some toiletries and his trusty hair gel. It was running low so he made a mental note to pick some up before the end of the week. He slid a hoodie over his head and reached for the door handle, drawing his hand back just in time, reconsidering. The odds weren't in his favour for getting out the front door without notice. Instead, he pushed the window out as far as it would go and lifted himself up and out. Agilely, he manoeuvred his way down the lattice work, landing on the ground with a muffled thump. Luckily, the lights at the back of the house were off or he could have been caught like a deer in a set of headlights. As quietly as he could, he jogged down the side of the house, looking around before moving across to his car, pulling out as quietly as possible. He would have felt like a rebellious teenager if he weren't so sure his parent's didn't care. They wouldn't check his room and would probably assume he'd parked his car in the garage.

Blaine glanced at his dashboard clock as he skirted around the outside of Kurt's neighbourhood; a little past ten. It took him a few minutes to find the right street. It was different being the driver. When he did, he slowed the car to a creep and parked across and a little down from Kurt's home. Once he'd killed the engine he stopped to think. Now he was here, he wasn't sure what exactly he was planning to do. He couldn't go and knock on his door this late, what would Kurt's parents think? Then again, he couldn't sit out in the car all night. Could he? He was about to scold himself and head back home, branding the night as a bad idea when the click of heels on tarmac stopped him in his tracks.

Blaine squinted into his rear view mirror, pulling back in surprise when he spotted the familiar coiffed hair and composed stride. He looked the most dressed down Blaine had ever seen him (or as dressed down as Kurt got) a baggy necked sweater peeking out from underneath a smooth pale jacket, tight dark wash jeans and the source of the clicking: mid calf high boots. He approached slowly, walking at a leisurely pace and taking in the freshness around him. Blaine placed a hand on the door handle and pushed himself up and out just as Kurt came up alongside the back of the Porsche. To his surprise, Kurt leapt back with a yell. Blaine half fell back into his seat, raising his hands and snapping his head around himself jerkily. He heard Kurt sigh with relief and then laugh. Blaine smiled weakly.

"Sorry" he murmured, standing fully again and pressing the car door closed behind him.

"Blaine, what the hell?" Kurt took out his phone and lit up the screen "it's like quarter past ten, what are you even doing here?" the question brought Blaine up short. How did he explain this without sounding like a complete freak?

"Well I… could ask the same thing of you" he retorted, turning the question away from himself.

"I" he started matter of factly; crossing his arms "was just visiting Elwy. What's your excuse?" his features softened suddenly, arms loosening and eyes flitting between Blaine's face and his hands "wait did you-"

"No! No…nearly, but no" his eyes found the floor. A wave of shame had taken him all of a sudden. Why had he thought coming here was a good idea? "I went for a drive" he lied easily "and ended up here" he shrugged.

"Huh" the suspicion returned to Kurt's eyes but he shook it off quickly. "Why are you parked so far down from the house?"

"Erm…"

"You know, I don't need to know. I wasn't actually wasn't intending on going home yet anyways" he shrugged and then heaved a deep sigh. "I love the dark, at this time of year. It's all fresh and not too cold"

"Yeah, I know what you mean. It's not as crisp as a winter evening but just as lovely"

Kurt seemed to regard him for a second before dropping his hands to his sides "well seeing as you're here how's about we have some fun?" he raised an eyebrow, smirking before darting forward and grabbing Blaine's wrist, pulling him off across the road at a jog. Blaine was glad for the distraction Kurt presented so he let himself be dragged along. He tried not to think about how tired he was going to be the next day.

They continued at a jog until they were past Kurt's house and slowed to a walk. Kurt dropped Blaine's hand causing Blaine to make an involuntary sound of disapproval and Kurt's head snapped back. He looked down, sliding his hand along Blaine's forearm and taking his hand softly in his own.

"Is this okay?" he breathed. Blaine blushed, trying to hide his grin. Kurt smiled in return and turned his eyes front. They walked a little further, relishing in the little comfortable bubble they had formed around themselves. Kurt's skin felt soft against Blaine's more calloused palms. He was suddenly conscious of that fact and vowed to begin looking after his skin a little better. Of course there was nothing he could do about the roughness at his fingertips; Kurt would just have to put up with that.

They took a sudden right, disappearing between high hedges. Blaine huddled a little closer to Kurt as the absolute darkness engulfed them. Kurt chuckled "don't worry, we're almost there"

They broke from the hedges a lot quicker than Blaine had anticipated, coming out in a field that look extremely familiar to his eyes. He paused, pulling Kurt to a stop next to him, their hands still linked. He raised a finger

"Am I seriously this clueless?" Kurt smirked

"You were having a bad day, and you came in by another way" he pointed over to the left of them and Blaine saw the road he had indicated was indeed the road he had sped off along on his bike just over two weeks ago. Right ahead of them was the park he had spent that thunderstorm in. everything looked exactly the same. A strange jolt in his stomach pulled his lips down into a frown.

"Hey" Kurt nudged him with his shoulder. "Come on, we're going to make this a happy place" he began to drag Blaine forward again, skipping towards the gate closest to them. He pushed himself inside, directing them both over to the roundabout. Blaine grimaced

"Kurt, I get motion sickness" he mumbled as Kurt dropped his hand, leaving it oddly cold, and leapt up. He turned and pouted

"Push me?" he smiled sweetly. Blaine rolled his eyes and moved forward to take the bars.

Everything from there became a bit of a blur. He did end up riding on the roundabout, and to Kurt's great dismay, almost throwing up all over the grass. He rubbed Blaine's back soothingly and pulled them over to the swings instead. Here, they embarked on a competition to see who could swing the highest which also almost ended in disaster when Kurt lost his hold on one of the chains and slipped backwards in his seat so he was holding himself up by his calves. Blaine couldn't hold in his laughter long enough to stand and help and so merely sat, gripping the swing and gasping for breath. Eventually, after Kurt's complaints began to fill the area Blaine shushed him, looking around before going over and helping him up. All would have gone smoothly if Kurt hadn't caught his feet and as a result gone stumbling into Blaine. He himself overbalanced and went falling backwards onto the grass. He just about managed to catch himself quickly enough to cushion his fall before Kurt came crashing down on top of him.

They paused for a moment, gazing at one another thoughtfully.

"Erm" Kurt smiled weakly and then they both fell apart laughing, Kurt rolling off onto the ground next to Blaine and covering his eyes with his arm. They laughed for what seemed forever, bumping limbs and enjoying how free they felt. After a few minutes it began to die off, both boys feeling relaxed and happy.

"It's a clear night" Kurt whispered

"Do you know any constellations?"

"Not really."

"Oh"

"Why?"

"I don't either" Blaine turned his head to look at Kurt and they burst out laughing again. They both sighed simultaneously as they fell quiet again. Blaine's skin was buzzing with the air around them. The moment felt perfect. His chest was full to the brim with happiness, heart overstretched with adoration for the boy next to him. He felt full of life, full of exultation at the universe. He could quite literally stand right now and yell to the sky that he was Blaine, and he was…_At peace. _ The worries of half an hour ago were gone from his mind. A faint breeze rippled across his skin as he felt a nudge at his finger, and looking down he saw Kurt's fingers interlacing with his own.

"Hey, Blaine" Kurt's voice brought his eyes up, taking his breath away at how close their faces were. He could feel Kurt's breath ghosting across his skin, raising Goosebumps all over his body. His breath hitched as Kurt leant forward and touched their noses together. "can-" Blaine nodded, cutting him off, eyes not leaving Kurt's own and slowly, as if they had all the time in the world, Kurt moved forward and pressed his lips to Blaine's.

It was like all at once the steady hum that had been threading its way through his veins suddenly came to life, sparking through every corner of his body. He found himself pushing forward, reluctant to ever let go of Kurt's lips.

It felt…_divine._

Eventually the moment broke, Kurt pulling away and opening his eyes to find Blaine smiling warmly across at him. Blaine watched him turn his face into the grass between them, smiling widely. He looked back up at Blaine and this time Blaine felt no hesitation in pressing forward and joining their lips again.

This time was different, more heated, and heavier somehow. Blaine let go of Kurt's hand and moved it up to his hip, rolling onto his side, feeling Kurt's hand come up to cup the back of his neck. He pulled back for only a second, then dived back in, shocked at his own courage. He hesitated for a moment before tracing his tongue across the underside of Kurt's upper lip, feeling him give way and open his mouth, deepening the kiss. Kurt tasted sweet and fresh; almost like a meadow on a bright morning at the beginning of April, when all the flowers were in bloom and the sun filtered warmly through the leaves up above.

They kissed, and kissed, and kissed. They kissed for so long that when Blaine finally pulled away he felt as if it should be morning already. He breathed heavily against Kurt's face, stunned at the emotion making his nerves stand on end. After a moment he came to his senses enough to realise he'd half rolled on top of Kurt and so promptly rolled off him and fell back onto the grass, sighing deeply.

"Okay" Kurt breathed

"Yeah" Blaine turned his head again to see Kurt smiling, eyes closed. He reached across to find Kurt's hand.

They lay there for what seems like an age, basking in each other's presence. They didn't even kiss, or talk, they simply laid there, languid and comfortable. Or at least until Blaine began to shiver. Kurt pushed himself up onto one elbow

"We should probably get back" he grimaced. Blaine made another noise of dissent and pulled Kurt back down next to him. Instead of falling back into his previous position however, Kurt shifted over and placed his head on Blaine's chest, letting his arm sit across his stomach. Blaine raised an eyebrow but grinned none the less, bringing his hand up to rest on Kurt's shoulder blade.

"Just a few more minutes" he whispered "I never want this moment to end."

* * *

An hour later found them both with mugs of hot chocolate between their hands, under woolly blankets, watching re runs of Grey's Anatomy on Kurt's living room TV. They hadn't mentioned the kiss, or anything that may have passed between them in the park.

They had only had one complaint from Finn that if Blaine came over, Rachel could too. Kurt had then quietly pointed out that it was nearly midnight. Finn had drooped his head and made his way back to his room like a sad puppy. Kurt had merely rolled his eyes and returned to the couch. They both sighed in unison as they watched Derek motion around at the papers pinned to every service of the elevator. This had to be one of his favourite episodes.

"You know if my future partner didn't do something to equal this I think I'd probably leave him" Kurt stated. Blaine laughed

"You do have high expectations"

"I'm high maintenance, what can I say" he shrugged, taking a sip of the warm liquid in front of him.

"I think that anyone who deserves to be happy ought to be" Kurt arched an eyebrow over his mug. Blaine had fallen into some kind of soft, dreamy state. He talked quietly and his movements were more muted than usual. He didn't even flinch when the sleeve of his tee rode up to reveal his scarred forearms. Kurt took a breath and turned slightly in his seat, tucking his foot beneath him.

"What's the real reason you're here? This is sort of out of your way if you were just going for drive." One side of Blaine's mouth turned up in a kind of grimace and he sighed deeply.

"I don't know. I thought of calling you but then…well, I just wanted to get out of the house. Going to Cooper's would have been a mistake at any rate. I don't want to get him involved you know?" Kurt watched him rub a hand over his eyes wearily. He let him continue "I just…feel like I should be able to do more. Every time dad raises his voice I feel like I should be able to fight back, but I just back out like a coward."

"Hey" Kurt exclaimed, fixing his features into a somewhat stern expression. "You have your own battles to face. It's their fault that they haven't noticed a thing. They'd be proud of you if they knew how far you've come in the last couple of weeks" Blaine laughed weakly.

"You know I still can't believe it" he said, only just more than a whisper

"Believe what?" Kurt asked

"That someone knows…that _you_ know. Its kind of silly..." he dropped his chin to his chest, smiling a little too brightly.

"I'm sure it's not" Kurt smiled in reply

"Oh it is"

"Don't leave me hanging, Anderson" he slapped blain lightly on the arm.

"Oh I don't…I just." He lifted his head again, looking straight ahead. "You were the first thing I noticed on my first day. I walked into the cafeteria and I was so bewildered, everything was all big and new and then" his smile widened, taking Kurt's with it "I saw you over with the rest of Glee club. Of course I didn't know it was Glee club then"

"Of Course"

"You were laughing about something and then you started waggling your finger and then everyone was laughing at you and Mercedes was hugging you and I don't know" he shrugged one shoulder "you were like this happy spark. It just kind of made my day…" he trailed off, embarrassed. Kurt couldn't hold back his grin. He couldn't even think of anything to say. After a moment's silence, Blaine's smile began to fade "oh god that was totally lame wasn't it? I can't believe I just said that!"

"No, no! It was adorable! You're adorable" he tilted his head at Blaine, eliciting that shy smile again.

"I'm not…" Blaine mumbled

"Oh seriously come on. Okay, my truth time." He turned his body fully towards Blaine, pulling the other leg up so he had them crossed in front of him. Blaine leant his cheek on his hand, elbow on the couch cushion behind him. Kurt cleared his throat. "I think I'd been crushing on you since that first day. Honestly at first, I was just grateful for some colour in the place. And who can resist that bow tie?" he couldn't meet Blaine's eyes as he spoke. Too late, he realised how Blaine must have felt admitting what he had. Heat began to creep up his neck "and then I came and said hi and you were all cute smiles and cute laugh and just cute and I vowed I wasn't letting you escape" he'd said that last bit all in one breath and he bit his lip as he met Blaine's eyes. He was smiling softly, eyebrows drawn inwards subtly. Kurt smiled back. It was then he noticed the silence of the room, the ticking of the clock, soft hum of the TV. He pulled his gaze away to glance at the screen, shocked to see the episode had come to a close.

"Oh. Well, I guess we should probably get some sleep. If you're auditioning tomorrow" he grinned evilly. Blaine raised a finger

"Hey, I said I would think about it. And I am definitely not following Elwy. Give me a few more days at least." Kurt rolled his eyes

"You're as good as Elwy, if not better, trust me" he pulled back his blanket and set about tidying up the food they'd left scattered around

"How would you even know, you've only ever heard me as part of the Warblers" Blaine asked curiously. Kurt stiffened

"Oh err yeah I know but you erm, you were great with them. With your, err, solo parts. I'm sure you'll be great" he finished, moving quickly into the kitchen. Blaine followed, folding up the blanket in his arms.

"I don't even know what I would sing. Half of what made Elwy's performance was how personal it was to you guys."

"You noticed that?" Kurt asked, turning slowly

"I think everyone noticed it Kurt, it wasn't like either of you were being subtle"

"Huh. Well why don't you find something personal?" he hinted, turning back to the washing up. He looked at it for a moment before sighing and waving a hand "I'll do that tomorrow; I'm not in the mood." It struck him all of a sudden as he lead Blaine upstairs, that he could have another awkward sleeping situation coming up. He decided to bring it up as soon as they entered his room.

"Erm, I was actually wondering what you wanted to do about sleeping. I mean, I could set up the sofa bed for you, or you could sleep in the guest room" he rubbed his hands together awkwardly.

"Whatever's easiest honestly. I don't want to be a bother" Kurt watched him scratch at the back of his neck and gave into himself. _Screw it Hummel._

"Why don't we just share the bed again It's not like my Dad is gonna come in and yell at us and it's definitely big enough" he said all in one breath. Blaine coughed suddenly, the beginnings of a smile showing on his face. Kurt cleared his throat "I'm gonna go sort myself out. Feel free to…look around" he brushed Blaine's hand softly as he passed; almost gasping at the warmth he felt shooting up towards his elbow.

He hadn't been lying when he'd said he needed to sort himself out. He was a hot mess. He ran his hands under the cold water and splashed his face, shaking out his limbs and trying to push down the nerves rising in his stomach. Why was this so god-damned difficult?

It was probably because Kurt for once, was completely at a loss with their relationship. What even were they now? Still friends? Dating? Boyfriends? He wasn't one to take kissing lightly. He wasn't _Puck._ That kiss meant a lot to him, and from what he gathered, to Blaine as well. What he didn't want is for that to be disregarded but…it was all going so…_fast._ If a magical munchkin had shown up on is doorstop a month ago and told him he was going to fall for a boy he had known for a matter of weeks he would have laughed in their face.

It wasn't that Kurt wasn't a social person, but it wasn't like he really put himself out there either. It had all happened by chance, the colours he had chosen to wear or the poems he had been reading the night before. It was all very cliché and to be honest Kurt didn't mind one bit. It reassured him that what he was doing wasn't a mistake. That he was right to be opening his heart to this boy, and hopefully doing to same for him.

But God he wished he could just, _help_Blaine. Make him see what he was worth.

Blaine was sat cross legged on the edge of Kurt's bed when he got back, loose hoodie and pyjama pants in place of the jeans and tee, a worn anthology resting open on his knee. He looked up and smiled as Kurt entered, making his heart do somersaults. How can any one human deal with this every single time another smiled?

"What's that?" he asked, putting his jacket and pants back into his wardrobe and throwing everything else into the washing hamper.

"Erm, Blake?" Blaine supplied, turning back to the book and checking the cover "it was on the floor here"

"I must have dropped off and not put it down. Happens a lot"

"I do the same. I've woken up with my guitar in bed with me"

"Kinky" he smirked. Blaine turned scarlet at Kurt's teasing, a fact Kurt was happy to say made him feel a little satisfied. "My favourite poem is in that book. One of Blake's better known quotes, erm how did it go" he sunk onto the bed next to Blaine, tapping his lip. His eyes lit up in remembrance "oh yeah _'how can a caged bird that is born for joy/ sit in a cage and sing?'_"

"_The School-Boy._ From _The Songs of Innocence and Experience_" Blaine continued to Kurt's surprise "yeah, I know it." his face took on a more animated expression as he proceeded to recite more "_'How shall the summer arise in joy/ Or the summer fruits appear./ or how shall we gather what griefs destroy/ Or bless the mellowing year,/ When the blasts of winter appear'_" he stared dreamily off into the distance, falling into some kind of memory induced trance. Kurt watched on, awestruck by the soft rhythm Blaine had spoken as he wrapped his voice around each and every syllable perfectly. It was mesmerising and he almost had to pinch himself back to awareness as Blaine turned to him and smiled "or something like that" he laughed

"That was…" Kurt began, not really knowing where he had planned that sentence to go. Blaine shuffled along the bed and placed the book back down on the nightstand before wrapping his arms around his knees, back to Kurt's headboard. Kurt was still staring, open mouthed across at him.

"What?" Blaine said, smiling shyly

"You're perfect" he whispered and then, eyes widening, he rushed to correct himself "I mean, that was perfect. The quote. Haha" he tried a smile and moved a little higher on the bed.

"I like it. The poem" Blaine started, oblivious to Kurt's embarrassment. "I mean I know Blake was all anti-education and he loved the romantic ideals of childhood, but it really comes across in this. He's a master of satire…I wish there were more people like him" Kurt hummed in agreement, standing to swap the big light for the bed side lamp and pulling back the comforter for both to slide shyly inside. He settled comfortably back into the pillows.

"Maybe it just takes more people to understand him. I mean, if you get what he was trying to say, there's no harm in trying to carry on his ideals"

"But it's so difficult you know? We're living in such an ignorant age. Getting through to people like Blake did isn't as easy nowadays." Kurt blew out the air in his lungs slowly, rolling onto his side

"Do you agree with him? About the whole education thing?"

"What? That it isn't a good thing?

"Well maybe not in such a direct way but isn't _The School-Boy_ all about learning more by not being confined to the classroom?"

"I guess. There was that one…what was it...oh! Wordsworth, _Expostulation and Reply; 'Nor less I deem that there are Powers/ Which of themselves our minds impress;/ That we feed this mind of ours/ In a wise passiveness._"

"The power of thoughtfulness" Kurt answered

"Exactly." They fell silent again, both deep in thought. Blaine was the first to speak up, pulling Kurt back to the present again. "This is weird. What other teenagers sit around and chat about poetry honestly" he chuckled lightly but Kurt merely scrunched up his lips and shrugged

"We want to make a difference in the world. There's nothing wrong with that. Eventually we'll all face human oblivion anyway and none of this will even matter" he let himself fall back against the pillows again, sighing deeply

"But it matters in the present"

"It matters if we can make other people think it matters. Seems pretty futile to me"

"No, I think it's there. You just need the right people"

"And the right mindset"

"And courage" Blaine added

"Courage" Kurt murmured thoughtfully.

They both fell silent. After a moment, Kurt reached over to his bedside lamp "do you mind?"

"No, go ahead" he clicked if off and they were drenched in darkness, only a thin slant of moonlight falling through a gap in his blinds to pool across the bottom of the bed. They both moved slightly, adjusting themselves to sleep. Kurt faced Blaine, seeing him turn onto his front and bring their faces closer together. He hesitated for a moment and then reached over to squeeze Blaine's hand. He didn't let go.

"Night Kurt" Blaine breathed, warm air ghosting across Kurt's face.

"Goodnight Blaine"

Kurt couldn't remember having a more perfect night. He drifted off into a pleasant dream filled with rose petals and hot chocolate and the feel of Blaine's lips against his own.


	9. Chapter 9

**_ A/N:_** I'm sorry this has taken to long to get up, but school has decided to get mega crazy. I want to apologise in advance for how sporadic updates may get in the furture but A levels man, they suck. Anyway, this chapter is a little shorter than usual and note that the next chapter will lead straight from this one; i wouldn't be as cruel as just to leave it there.

Enoy!

* * *

He wasn't afraid to admit it at all; the next day was the best and worst he had spent at McKinley yet. The morning rolled from sleepy smiles to hot coffee and raspberry pancakes.

Finn sat and devoured a pile Blaine hadn't even thought possible, himself only eating a small one in comparison. Kurt didn't eat anything.

"My stomach doesn't do food in the morning" he'd said in way of explanation. He had however, seated himself at the table with them and chatted rather animatedly for a morning, according to Finn.

"…and once we get you fitted in nicely with the New Directions we could organise-"

"woah woah" Blaine swallowed hard around a mouthful of pancake and placed his fork down on an empty plate. "I said I would think about it. And I most definitely will not be doing anything today. So forget it" Kurt glared, resting his chin on his hand.

"Don't think you're getting out of this one"

"And what will you do if I decide not to try out?" he countered, mirroring Kurt's position

"Oh I could think of quite a few things I could do. Or _not_ do" he added, lowering his voice and raising an eyebrow. Finn cleared his throat, startling them both. Blaine had completely forgotten he was even there with the way Kurt had been gazing at him through long thick lashes. He blushed.

"We should probably get going. Don't want to be late" Kurt nodded his agreement.

"I'm getting a lift in with Sam. I'll see you guys at school" Finn remarked awkwardly. They made their way outside, pausing before parting to their respective cars, Blaine's still halfway down the street.

"What are you going to do tonight?" Kurt asked softly. "I mean you can always come back here. My dad isn't back for another few days but I'm sure he'd understand."

"No, I don't want to intrude. Besides, I should probably get some work done tonight" he kicked at the tarmac, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"Have you talked to Cooper?" Kurt prompted

"Not since last night. Dad didn't seem too happy about me being at Cooper's so I'm only stoking the fire with that" he shrugged and turned slightly "I'll see you at lunch okay?" Kurt had looked a little disappointed but nodded and they'd both made their way separately to school.

* * *

He managed to some how end up late to Chemistry, much to the annoyance of his lab partner.

"About time" Tina muttered, moving so he could get past her to his seat at their shared bench

"Sorry. Got held up"

"Kurt?" she asked simply. Blaine rolled his eyes and pointed to the front of the class where their teacher had just approached the board.

Twenty minutes later, heads buried in notes and a quiet buzz absorbing the room they thought it possible to talk. "Are you going to answer that question then or?"

"What question?" he kept his eyes on his work, tapping his foot rhythmically on the stool leg.

"Drop the act. I know you were at his last night. Finn texted Rachel who was skyping with Mercedes who told me this morning. Plus he didn't pick up his phone when Rachel called last night." Blaine scoffed. "So spill. Or I will break into your house and rid your bathroom of its supply of raspberry scented hair gel and you'll be forced to live without it." he rolled his eyes and turned to her

"There's no story okay? I went to his to drop off a –shirt and it got late so I just stayed over." he lied easily, going back to his notes which were now making a mess inside his head. He sighed and dropped his pen, running a hand along his hair.

"I don't believe you"

"Just drop it okay, Tina?" she held up her hands in submission and turned back to her work but not before adding her final piece of advice.

"I'm not saying anything, but you guys need to sort yourselves out. I mean do you even know what you are to him?" Blaine stayed silent "I don't know. Well, whatever just…don't pass up the chance okay?" she fell quiet then, scribbling away.

Even if it wasn't the most welcome bit of advice she could give him, it did get him thinking. What were he and Kurt to each other? They were dating, in the literal sense of the word, and they'd kissed but….that wasn't everything in a relationship nowadays. What if they went out on Saturday and Kurt decided he didn't like him after all? Should he get his hopes up? Blaine certainly felt as if he'd never want to let the boy go but even that seemed crazy to him and he was sure as hell Kurt didn't feel the same way. Blaine was just messed up, he was going through stuff and he was making everything bigger than it had to be. Over thinking again. He didn't really feel as strongly for Kurt as he'd thought right? That was stupid and irrational and way too soon. No, he was just making it up, blowing it out of proportion. He took a deep breath, calming himself just as the bell rang. Tina sent him a pointed look before exiting before him.

Blaine took his time packing his things, clutching a textbook to his chest as he stepped dreamily out of the room, still deep in thought. So deep in thought that he didn't notice that someone was standing in front of him until a familiar voice pulled him out of his trance. He grinned.

"Kurt! What are you doing here?" Kurt was clutching his bag strap with both hands, head tilted to the side slightly.

"I wanted to walk you to class silly. You looked down this morning, thought you could use some cheering up! And whose company would do that best? Mine of course" he nudged Blaine's shoulder and they began walking down the corridor side by side.

"Where are you now?" Blaine asked

"French"

"You're always in French"

"Yeah well my timetable is messed up." He shrugged "you?"

"English"

"Ouch"

"No it's okay actually. I've read all the set texts and we're a bit behind where I was at Dalton so I just sit and doodle"

"Anything major?"

"Nothing worth your attention, no" he smirked, picking up on Kurt's desperate curiosity instantly.

"Oh come on! You're amazing, and it's so hard to find a fellow designer" Kurt whined

"I wouldn't call myself a designer. It's only a bit of fun"

"Say what you will Anderson, I will get my eyes on that sketch book eventually" they both paused outside Blaine's classroom, which was currently still void of students or teachers. Blaine considered for a moment, jerking his head over to the side of the corridor.

"Kurt, I wanted to ask you something"

"Sounds serious" he joked. Blaine rolled his eyes.

"It kind of is" Kurt's jaw slackened slightly. "I just…I've been wondering about us and-"

"Stop" Kurt interrupted, placing a hand on Blaine's forearm.

"What?"

"Not now. We're still on for coffee right?" Blaine nodded, confused "then. We'll talk about it then okay?" he smiled and then looked around, noting that they weren't gathering any attention. He smiled shyly again and leant forward to plant a light kiss to his cheek. Blaine blushed, ducking his head. "See you at lunch Mr Dapper Pants" he arched an eyebrow and then turned to continue off down the corridor. He turned at the corner and gave Blaine a short wave. Blaine was still grinning when he entered class five minutes later.

Lunch came around almost dreamily, pushing Blaine out of class and into the cafeteria while his mind was still buried In flowing landscaped and suppressed creativity. English did things to his brain. He reached their usual table before either Kurt or Elwy, nibbling away at a sandwich, miles away in thought. He jumped when Kurt dropped his bag down next to him and slid onto a chair.

"Oh. Hi"

"You are miles away today honestly. You okay?" he sounded only mildly teasing.

"Fine. English. Does things to me"

"Noted" Kurt said. He almost chocked on his food. Kurt laughed "I was kidding. Wow what's with you today. You're not with it at all" Blaine didn't answer., ordering his thoughts into something recognisable from the mess Kurt had landed him in. "hey" he spoke up again, sounding a little more concerned "I was joking. I didn't mean it" Blaine shook his head

"It's fine. Just stuff."

"You know you can tell me"

"I'm fine. It'll be fine."

"Promise?" Kurt asked all stern voice and raised eyebrows. Blaine sighed, trying a smile

"Promise"

"Okay. So, I was wondering about Saturday…" Blaine instantly perked up

"Oh?" he asked, trying to keep the excitement out of his voice

"Yeah. I was thinking we could…there's a wood, it's about a forty minute drive but its gorgeous there, especially at this time of year. It sounds lame but…" Blaine shook his head

"No. it sounds…perfect actually. I love trees. Ad I could really do with it right now" Kurt beamed, blushing slightly.

"Okay"

"Okay" they both turned back to their food, or in Kurt's case a bottle of water and another apple. "Hey, are you going to eat anything else. You didn't eat anything at breakfast" he narrowed his eyes as he watched Kurt swallow and smile. It wasn't convincing.

"Just had home ec." Was all he offered in explanation. Blaine opened his mouth to argue when Elwy came trundling over, dropping his tray and being an overall disruption. Blaine sighed and made a mental note to bring it up when they got coffee later.

"You'd think that learning one language was enough bloody hell" he tore into his lunch "I'm Welsh for crying out loud, when the fuck am I going to need to talk French seriously?" Kurt laughed

"You seemed to be doing alright in there"

"When I had you right next to me yeah, I'm screwed when it comes to finals"

"Oh shush you'll be fine. I'll even tutor you" Blaine had faded into the background a little, until the conversation turned to Glee.

"And when's Blaine here joining us?" Elwy asked. Blaine cleared his throat.

"Don't count on it being anytime soon" he supplied. Kurt sighed.

"Within the week if I have anything to do with it. He owes me." Blaine turned judging eyes upon the boy sat next to him.

"Don't turn the emotional blackmail on me. If I remember correctly it was you that let me stay"

"And you who drove to my house at 10pm"

"And you who insisted on frolicking in a park as said time!" they both fell silent for a moment before bursting out laughing simultaneously.

"frol..frolick..where do you even get this stuff?"

"Shut up!" he breathed between giggles, pushing Kurt sideways with his shoulder.

"Hey! Lovebirds! You done!?" they both looked to Elwy who was smiling faintly, snapping their mouths shut before turning back to their food. "Needless to say you two had fun last night."

"Don't even start" Kurt laughed. The table fell quiet for a time until they all began to fidget. Elwy sighed deeply.

"I don't want to go to lesson this afternoon Kurt" he moaned, tipping his head back.

"Tough. Dad told me no skipping while he's away"

"What, so you can skip when he's home?" Blaine sputtered

"Well, no…yes. It's complicated" he shrugged in reply to Blaine's confused expression.

"I have gym" he said to a chorus of sympathetic oohs.

"I feel for you man" Elwy leant over and patted him on the arm. Blaine shrugged

"I'll just run track the whole time. Nobody ever says anything."

"Anyone willing to run tack for an hour has to be touched in the head" Kurt started

"Yeah well, maybe I am" he laughed humourlessly. Kurt's eyes widened

"Wait, no, that's not what I mean, Blaine I'm…" he trailed off at the twitch of Blaine's lips and slapped his arm

"Jerk"

"Idiot"

"OKAY THEN" Elwy said loudly, pushing himself up and slinging his bag over his shoulder. "I'll see you all later" he waved and left, leaving Kurt and Blaine smiling oddly at one another.

"You know you should really eat something"

"And you should really try out for Glee today"

"Don't change the subject."

"I'm not! I said I wasn't hungry. Home ec" he looked away and began shuffling uselessly around his bag. Blaine sighed, considering pursuing the subject but deciding it wasn't any of his business. Yet. "we should probably get going" Kurt murmured, not meeting Blaine's eyes as he lifted his tray and made towards the trash, a half eaten apple lying dismally alone upon it.

"Kurt I-" he called but the other boy simply waved and exited without him.

Blaine rubbed a hand across his face and wandered slowly out, moving towards the locker room. _I'll figure it out,_ he thought,_ I'll figure Kurt Hummel out._

Everything had been going fine. Blaine had spent the afternoon jogging lightly around the track and was all set to head home when it happened.

He exited the locker room the same way he always did, walked the same route to his locker, but it wasn't until he was halfway there that he noticed something was amiss. The corridor in front of him had fallen quiet, students whispering worriedly to each other. He brushed it off and walked a little further. And then a yell went up. He turned on the spot, responding to the obvious call of "hey new kid". Two letterman jacket, cup wielding football players were marching up the hall towards him. He only just had time to narrow his eyes in confusion when an icy hell hit him like a tonne of bricks. He gasped, hands balling into fists at his sides as the liquid seeped deep into his shirt and sweater. His eyes stung, his face was on fire and all he could do was stand there, completely oblivious to the laughs and muttering surrounding him. He felt a sudden hand in his and someone was leading his away, telling him to keep calm, that they'd sort it out. He found himself in a bathroom with a towel pressed against his face. He took it gratefully, wiping his face before dabbing at his hair and collar. His companion was busy checking the stalls. She was just shorter than him, with short blonde hair and a sympathetic smile.

"We need to get you out of those. Can you get to the choir room? We have spare stuff in there for occasions like this."

"Why did they do that?" he stuttered, shivering from the cold as the stranger picked up her bag with his own and directed him towards the door. "What did I do to-"

"Nothing, you did nothing. They're just class A d-bags. We've all been the victim, don't worry." They walked as quickly as possible to the choir room, making sure their path was clear of any potential fun makers. Unfortunately for him, they didn't find their destination empty. Finn was sat with his arm around Rachel's waist and Sam was drawing glares from Santana where she stood, bitch face in full swing.

"What the hell?" Finn exclaimed as they entered. The room went quiet. The stranger left him at the entrance of the room for a second before returning with a clean sweater.

"You can use the office" she pointed to a room adjoined with the one they were in and Blaine turned to it gratefully, with a quiet thank you. He closed the door softly behind him, scrambling out of his soiled clothes and into the new ones. He contemplated listening at the door for a second but decided against it and stepped out calmly, pushing down the emotion rising in his throat. He smiled weakly

"Thanks"

"Hey, who was it man?" Finn asked

"I don't know I didn't really get a good look to be honest" he shrugged. At that moment, Kurt came in, laughing lightly until he turned his head to see Blaine, ruffled, with a wet shirt balled up in his hand. His face dropped and he hurried over.

"What happened?"

"slushied" came the strangers voice "I dried him up and brought him back here. You're welcome"

"Thank you Quinn" Kurt said before turning back and agonizing over Blaine "I'm so sorry. Seriously, I just…oh my god" he was running his hand up and down Blaine's arms as if at a loss of what to do. Blaine smiled at his concern

"It's fine. I just wasn't expecting it" Kurt sighed and then wrapped his arms around Blaine's neck

"I'm sorry." He said again. Blaine smiled into Kurt's neck, shaking his head as they pulled away "I'll make it up to you on Saturday okay. And I'm shouting the coffee tonight." Blaine rolled his eyes and let himself be pulled over to the raised chairs

"Kurt I should really…"

"No, you're staying here with me and then we're going for coffee. Now sit down and shut up" he was pushed down into a seat and figured it best to just keep quiet and blend into the background. He let Kurt explain why he was there when Mr Schuester entered and merely nodded when he asked if he was okay. And surprisingly…he was. Sam had turned in his seat and patted him on the knee and he'd received a warm smile from Tina's direction before they got started. Kurt hadn't been lying, they were just like a family…and maybe he could get used to it.

Kurt kept up a running commentary throughout, suggesting where Blaine's vocals would fit perfectly, much to his chagrin. "Not today" he would insist, but it did no good.

Which was why, fifteen minutes before they were scheduled to leave, Blaine found himself being chanted to the middle of the room, asking if he wanted accompaniment or not. He looked to Kurt who was smiling softly and sighed in defeat. He whispered a song choice and received a grin from the band who began playing almost instantly. Blaine took a breath and tucked his fingers into his pockets before he began to sing.

_Some stupid chick in the checkout line_

_Was payin' for beers with nickels and dimes_

_And some old man who clipped coupons_

_And argued whenever they wouldn't take one_

_All I wanted to buy was some cigarettes_

_But I couldn't take it anymore so I left_

The group was laughing genially along at his song choice and Kurt had this half smirk plastered across his voice. Mr Shue just looked bemused. He carried on, picking up movement as the atmosphere of the room warmed up

_I hate everyone_

_I hate everyone_

_I hate everyone_

_I hate everyone_

_All the people on the street_

_I hate you all_

_And the people that I meet_

_I hate you all_

_And the people that I know _

_I hate you all_

_And the people that I don't_

_I hate you all_

_Oh I hate you all_

They'd all begun to dance along at this point so Blaine took the initiative and began moving around, making random arm gestures to go along with the lyrics and spinning on the spot. He fell into the bridge, moving to stand in front of a different person with each line

_I bet you think I'm kidding_

_But I promise you it's true_

_I hate most everybody_

_But most of all_

_I hate_

_Oh I hate you_

With the last line he indicated himself subtly, before picking up for the final chorus. He finished with a flourish, smiling loudly and stumbling out of position. The room erupted just as it had for Elwy except this time the mood was much more euphoric

"Well" Mr Schue started "we've certainly picked up some talent this week, who'd have known" he clapped Blaine on the back "welcome to the New Directions Blaine" he nodded and made his way modestly to his seat and a smiling Kurt

"Well done." He murmured, giving his hand a squeeze.

"Thanks" nothing much happened after that, the entire group sat around discussing ideas until four o clock came around and then they all went bustling around picking up bags and saying their goodbyes. Kurt and Blaine didn't hang around, but left with a wave and moved towards the parking lot.

"I'm proud of you" Kurt said once they were out in the open air "I told you that it'd be fine"

"Yeah well, it's just odd. The Warblers are so strict on auditions and stuff. You guys are really just like a family" Kurt snorted

"A very dysfunctional family, but yeah in essence. We've been through a lot together" he pulled his book closer to his chest. They parted then, turned towards their cars and making their separate way to the Lima Bean. Their conversation however, swerved away from everything Blaine had intended to bring up. With Kurt in such a genial mood, Blaine didn't want to bring him down with a bump by prying into why he wasn't eating. As to the worry eating at Blaine about where exactly they were in their relationship, he decided to push it to the back of his mind and wait until Saturday was at least behind them. It seemed there was a lot riding on that first date. _What a cliché._

The rest of the week passed in a blur of coffee and Glee and a slight panic when he ran out of raspberry scented hair gel. Crisis was averted when his first lesson of the day was cancelled and he managed to rush to the mall to pick up more. Much to Kurt's chagrin. As much as he assured Kurt it was an ease thing, the other boy accepted no excuse and always frowned at him grumpily when he refused to let his hair fall loose.

They reached the end of the week quicker than he had anticipated, having found it much easier to avoid his father now that Cooper was settled a little more into his apartment. He'd spent most of his nights on the phone with Kurt when things got rough but thankfully, he'd reached Friday without a single relapse in sight. It was refreshing.

He was walking Kurt out to his car that afternoon when talk turned to their looming date.

"Can you drive? My car has to go into the Garage. Just routine stuff" Blaine nodded, smiling.

"What time do you want picking up?" he asked, nerves beginning to creep up on him.

"Let's say noon. Yeah, I can direct you" Kurt grinned and, looking around again, leant forwards and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. Blaine touched the spot lightly as Kurt walked off, hips swaying.

_I have a date with Kurt Hummel tomorrow. Shit._

* * *

He arrived a little early to Kurt's house, stepped out to chuck the bag Kurt had brought in the boot and open to door for him to climb in. Kurt accepted the gesture warmly and grinned when Blaine flourished his hand like an old school Disney prince. He was directed onto the highway and they fell into easy conversation as usual.

Blaine took the last corner slowly, pulling up haphazardly into the opening of a small dirt track. Internally he was sighing with relief at his choice of sturdy footwear. They both slipped out, Blaine grabbing their backpack from the boot. He looked around as Kurt sorted himself out and smiled a he felt himself being tugged towards the oath by the hand.

"It's wide enough for the first bit but it gets a bit messy further on." They moved on in silence, single file with Kurt in the lead. It wasn't until they began to stumble a little on the undergrowth that they finally dropped each other's hands out of necessity. Lucky too, because they both had to cover their eyes at the sudden blazing sunshine as they broke from the trees into an enclosed clearing, scattered with the last of summer's flowers.

"Very…_Twilight_" Blaine commented, watching Kurt throw out the mat and collapse down flat on his back.

"You're very _Twilight_. Now bring the food" Blaine stepped carefully over, ensuring he stepped on the smallest amount of flowers as possible. He dropped the bag softly and lowered himself down by Kurt's feet. The other boy made grabby hands. Blaine ruffled around in the bag, brow furrowing

"Kurt, did you…did you bring anything but fruit?" Kurt pushed himself up and grabbed an apple from him

"No, there should be some pasties at the bottom somewhere" Blaine dug a bit deeper and located the source of crackling wrapping as he pulled out twin Cornish pasties

"I've ever tried one" Blaine said off handily. Kurt dropped the apple he had yet to bite into and stared open mouthed at him "what?"

"Alright Anderson, give that here" Blaine passed off the pasty and watched Kurt open it carefully, tearing off a chunk and handing it over. He took it cautiously, slightly wary of the expectant look on Kurt's face "before you eat it, be warned, you are about to taste heaven. I practically lived on them in Wales a couple for years ago and they're not even Welsh" Blaine considered the crumbling pastry and shrugged before taking a healthy bite. Kurt scrutinised his every movement as he chewed slowly. After he swallowed he paused for a second and then shrugged

"It's alright" he teased. Kurt rolled his eyes and fell back to the ground, throwing Blaine's pasty back at him. He pulled off another piece and continued to chew happily. "So, Wales?" he queried around a mouthful of food. Kurt pushed himself up into a sitting position, rolling the still as of yet uneaten apple between his hands.

"Yeah. I went over the summer after Elwy left. It's a beautiful country. Lots of sheep"

"You're erm, pretty close huh" he said casually, looking around again

"Not as close as we used to be but I guess so." He sounded sad. "Why?"

"It's just odd to me I guess. I've never really been that close with someone. Not even as a kid" he smiled sadly, picking at his fingernails.

"Hey" Kurt reached over and placed his hand on Blaine's, making him look up to meet his reassuring gaze. _God, those eyes. _"Things are different now right?" he nodded "anyway, this is meant to be about us. Tell me something about you"

Blaine reddened, embarrassed to be put on the spot

"Oh erm…I don't know…" Kurt laughed

"Let me help you out" he chewed his lip in thought and then his mouth widened into a blinding grin "favourite Musical" Blaine smiled in response

"Wicked. Easy. What about you?" Kurt frowned

"You stole my answer jerk, but you would make an excellent Fiyero" Blaine blushed again at the compliment "favourite colour?"

"Yellow"

"Purple". Complimentary colours. What a coincident" Kurt added in mock surprise. "Okay you ask one"

"Erm, favourite…Bond?"

"Peirce Bronson"

"Oh no see I'm all about Sean Connery"

"Let me guess, you went through a Harrison Ford phase also"

"Nooooo…" Blaine said innocently. They both burst into laughter. Kurt pushed himself straighter, narrowing his eyes.

"Okay this one is important. McQueen or Ford?"

"Ford." He said instantly. Kurt sighed in annoyance "what? I have a weakness for Blazers"

"I suppose you have to earn the name Mr Dapper Pants, and I have to admit I do have a bit of a soft spot for our friend Tom." They chuckled lightly and then fell silent again. Blaine had polished off his pasty and crumpled the packet into one of the side pockets of the backpack. He let his head fall back to soak up the sun, knowing it was going to be one of the last chances he got to come out and actually warm himself like this. He was comfortable, and he was happy. Two things he hadn't been for a long time. Not until Kurt.

"I love Autumn. It's so beautiful" he breathed, smiling softly over at Kurt who was busy examining the flowers around them. He took the moment and really looked at Kurt. He took in the muted cheekbones and sharp jaw line, the way his hair curled at the top of its coif and how end-of-the-week stubble was beginning to show at the edge of his jaw. He followed the line of his neck until it dipped beneath the open colour of his shirt, disappearing into the join between prominent collar bone and broad shoulder. For a seventeen year old, he was magnificently built. From what he could tell anyway.

Kurt looked back over at him and smiled shyly "do I have something on my face?" he asked, reaching up to touch his cheek. Blaine shook his head.

"No. you look fine. More than fine" Kurt ducked his head bashfully but Blaine continued to let his eyes roam across Kurt's face as he went back to picking flowers.

Kurt was like peppermint toothpaste, whereas Blaine was musky cologne. Kurt was the freshness of a spring morning and Blaine was the humidity of a summer evening. They were complete opposites with everything in common, everything to lose and only each other to gain. It was terrifying, thrilling and a little more than enticing. It made Blaine want to jump in head first and yet pull back with all his strength. Depth wasn't an issue, it was the falling that scared him, and he was falling hard. Where they were both going to land was yet to be decided by the fates.

"Do you believe in fate?" he asked suddenly, shocking himself. _Did I just say that out loud?_ Kurt looked around, swiping a stray piece of hair from his forehead.

"Erm, that's random." _Yeah I know_ "well as far as like, soul mates and stuff goes I guess so…but I think we have a big hand in how things go. Any particular reason why?"

"Just thinking" he waved a hand. Kurt smiled warmly and then held out a small bunch of flowers for Blaine. He grinned in return

"They're pretty" he took them carefully

"So are you" Kurt spoke quietly, tilting his head to the side. Blaine huffed out a breath of air as yet another flush crept up his neck "they're the same colour as your eyes. Well, almost. I'm pretty sure you're eyes aren't yellow but it's like the mix of brown and green turns them like this golden colour so that's why yeah, I'll shut up" he trailed off, scratching the back of his neck. Blaine examined the flowers, smile growing on his face. On a whim, fuelled by the balloon of happiness inflating inside his chest, he leant forward on his hands (making sure to place the flowers aside carefully first) and pressed his lips Kurt's in a sweet closed mouth kiss. Kurt smiled into it, laughing a little as he pulled back. Blaine leant forward again and pressed a kiss to his forehead and then another to his nose, then his chin, and then his cheek…

"Blaine!" Kurt laughed a little louder Blaine grinned wider and continued peppering his face with kisses until Kurt was pushing at his chest and clutching his sides with laughter. Blaine joined their lips again, pressing Kurt to lie down. He complied instantly. Things turned much less PG-13 after that.


	10. Chapter 10

_**A/N**_: Howdy guys! Not much to say here apart from that the song mentioned at the end is Homebird by Foy Vance. I've noticed i have a bit of a following on this story and wanted to thank you all for the favourites and follows, means as much to me as bow ties and klainebows!

Enjoy!

* * *

Really, when Kurt thought back to that fateful date in the middle of September, he would only remember it with a swoop of the stomach and increase in heart rate.

Blaine was lying on top of him, running his finger along the side of Kurt's jaw and before either of them knew it they were kissing more passionately than either of them thought possible. Blaine tentatively licked his way into Kurt's mouth, sucking his bottom lip between his own, nibbling lightly before letting his tongue tangle with Kurt's. At first, Kurt was unaware of anything else going on south of his neck because really, Blaine's mouth and tongue were enough to distract him. Eventually however, he began to feel other little sign of arousal lighting up his body. Things become ten times warmer of a sudden; heat creeping north and blood rushing south as Blaine attached his lips to Kurt's neck. It took him by surprise at first, the way Blaine had almost taken control the moment Kurt had fallen back down onto the grass. They had rolled away from the picnic mat, leaving their food open to any creature in need of a meal, but luckily the hot moans and desperate whimpers caressing the air around them seemed to be keeping them at bay.

Kurt arched his back into Blaine's body, extending his neck to allow Blaine better access. "Fuck Blaine" he almost growled, closing his eyes. He felt the other boy pull away and raised his head in annoyance

"That's the first time you've cursed in front of me" he stated, seeming much happier about this than he had any right to be seeing as he was leaving Kurt's now damp neck open to the cool air.

"I've cursed in front of you before" he deadpanned, brow furrowing

"Not like that"

"Like what?"

"Like" Blaine started, moving his lips to suck over his pulse point before moving up to his ear, blowing cool air over the soft tendrils of baby hair of hair and whispering "fuck" Kurt moaned at the emphasis on the last letter and wasted no time in pulling Blaine's lips back to his own with a searing kiss. Blaine moved his legs a little shifting his weight until his thigh brushed up against the growing bulge in his trousers. He gasped into Blaine's mouth, sounding almost pained. He blinked a little in embarrassment, realising how awkward this was going to be in Blaine wasn't feeling the same. He didn't want to push it, especially not on a first date. _His _first date. What was the protocol for this thing anyway? It wasn't like he had much experience. He smiled a little at Blaine.

"Sorry" he murmured quietly, blushing a little

"For what?" Blaine asked, confused. Kurt cleared his throat

"For erm…for that" he nodded down their bodies until the other boy's eyes widened in understanding.

"Oh, well…no it's fine. I Wasn't…" he trailed off awkwardly "do you want me to…?" he made as if to roll off but Kurt shook his head slightly

"Do you?" he questioned. Blaine shook his head in reply

"Okay"

"Okay" they both laughed with embarrassment. "So do we just-" his words were cut off by Blaine's lips on his and then gently, as if he was scared of hurting him, Blaine rolled his hips down into Kurt's. He gasped again; clawing a little at Blaine's back and hesitantly tugging the hem out of his Capri pants. Blaine hummed a little in appreciation as he felt Kurt's hands creeping across the soft skin of his back, settling into position just above his hips. He squeezed gently, guiding Blaine as he continued to rock his pelvis into Kurt's. His moans were breathy and sweet, growing in volume and substance as Kurt started to roll his hips back, a bit sporadic in rhythm but enough to give them both the friction they needed. His mind was a whir, thoughts one big mess of _Blaine._ His warmth, his tongue, his hands deep in his perfectly coiffed hair. At any other time he would have complained but feeling the heat coiling deep in his stomach, all he could do was press harder into Blaine's skin, whispering that he was close into his curls. Blaine nodded into Kurt's neck, speeding up until they were both clinging onto each other, falling deeply into a hormone driven bliss. They both stiffened simultaneously, breathless at the pleasure coursing through their bodies. It was a moment before Blaine gulped in a lungful of air and collapsed onto Kurt, leaving a trail of lazy kisses along his jaw line and one final one on his lips, slow and sweet and full of ecstasy. They smiled against each other, Kurt tucking Blaine's shirt back into his pants before allowing him to roll off.

They lay there for a few moments not speaking, not even knowing what to say. It was a first for both of them and neither had the words to describe the emotion.

"That was-"

"You were-"

"Magical" Kurt finished, turning his head to meet Blaine's eyes.

"I told you. _Twilight_" Kurt burst out laughing, turning slightly into Blaine's body as he shook with mirth. Blaine chuckled a little and then sighed.

"I never expected this" Kurt looked up and frowned a little, all amusement gone from his features at Blaine's morose tone

"What do you mean?" he asked, pushing himself up onto an elbow so he was looking down into Blaine's face. The boy reached up and brushed the stray hair off his forehead.

"All of this. You. I mean, I never expect anything like what just happened…to happen..." he reddened a little, smiling "but more than that I never though I would find a friend like you. Someone I could literally tell anything to" he laughed "kinda weird seeing as I've only know you for three weeks" Kurt smiled a little in return, but it didn't reach his eyes. Something in his heart seemed to have twanged, letting his stomach flood with guilt.

"Yeah well, I guess that's life isn't it" his euphoric mood was gone the moment it appeared, Blaine's word putting his mind into turmoil. He took a breath and sat up; turning to make sure all of their rubbish was packed up and not likely to be blown off into the wood by the breeze picking up around them. "We should probably go before it gets too cold" he said, not turning to meet Blaine's eyes. He couldn't, not when they were so full of warmth and acceptance. An acceptant Kurt knew he had no right to.

"Kurt?" Blaine asked tentatively "you okay?" Kurt turned, trying a smile but not meeting his eyes.

"Fine" he rotated back to their little area and set about rolling up the mat they had been sat on. He could hear Blaine shuffling around behind him and stiffened as he felt his hand at his waist. It was pulled back instantly

"Kurt" he said a little sterner. He swallowed hard and turned, rearranging his features into something akin to expectancy. Blaine's eyes were narrowed "if it's something I did…or said…" Kurt shook his head

"No Blaine, it's not you" he lied. He didn't look convinced so Kurt moved forward and wrapped his arms around the boy's neck, pressing quick kiss to the spot behind his ear "I'm fine. Honestly. Come on" he pulled back, pulling Blaine up with him as he stood, shouldering their bag.

They didn't speak as they walked swiftly back to the car, hands clasped, grimacing a little at the discomfort they both experiencing in their pants. Kurt tried his best to seem jovial and content, but he couldn't stop the discomfort in his stomach bubbling away. They drove back in silence, apart from the few times Kurt hummed in agreement to whatever Blaine had said. He knew he should be trying harder, but honestly it was as if a dark blanket of fog had drowned him, taking all warmth and happiness from his body. He knew the feeling well and dreaded the night he had ahead. They pulled up to his house, Blaine hurrying round to open the door for him. He smiled back as widely as he could, letting Blaine walk him to the door, pausing at the top of the steps.

"Thank you for today" he said sincerely, taking Blaine's hand "it was amazing." Blaine still didn't seem convinced and he looked down at their clasped hands before meeting Kurt's eyes

"You…are you sure you're okay? Because if it's something I did I'm really sorry but I want you to tell me so I can-" Kurt cut him off with a finger to his lips, sighing in resignation. He wasn't about to tell him what was up, but he figured he deserved to know things weren't quite right. The last thing he wanted to do was make Blaine feel inadequate enough to fall back into old habits.

"It's not you, so don't worry. It's nothing to do with you. It's just…stuff. So don't get yourself down about it okay?" he stepped forward and wrapped Blaine in a tight hug. "I'll deal with it" he said as he pulled back, smiling genuinely this time "today really has been amazing."

"It has" Blaine responded but his smile faltered a little again "Kurt, will you promise to tell me if anything's up? Like anything that I can help with. You've helped me a lot and I want to be able to help you just as much"

"I promise" he said after only a moment of hesitation "you are my boyfriend after all" Blaine's eyes widened at that and Kurt's jaw slackened in panic "I…only if you know, you…you want to be I mean we don't-"

This time it was Kurt who was silenced by Blaine's searing kiss. He gasped a little as Blaine pulled away, pressing their foreheads together

"Do mean that?" he asked weakly. Kurt rolled his eyes, heart settling back into a normal rhythm in relief.

"Of course silly" Blaine stepped back and grinned widely, so brightly Kurt was surprised he wasn't blinded. He laughed in reply as Blaine leant forward and peppered his face in kisses again. Kurt slapped him off and rolled his eyes

"Remember where this led us last time Anderson. I don't know about you but I'm not an exhibitionist and I'm sure Mrs Cole next door wouldn't appreciate it" Blaine sighed as he retreated, taking Kurt's hand and kissing it one final time before stepped down off the stairs and walking backwards towards his car.

"Watch out!" Kurt called as he almost backed into a cyclist. He tripped a little on his feet as he stumbled out of the way. Kurt laughed "you're hopeless" Blaine bit his lips and dropped his head and he reached behind him; just managing to get the door open. Kurt blew him one last kiss.

"I'll see my beautiful boyfriend on Monday?" Blaine called. Kurt grinned, heart swooping a little at the word. He nodded and Blaine dropped down into the car, waving as he pulled out.

Kurt stood out for a moment, shaking his head in disbelief, glad that the heavy feeling in his stomach had disappeared for the moment. It was sure as hell going to make a return Kurt knew, but memories of Blaine's lips on his and the goofy grin he had shot through the window would be enough to sustain him through the evening and into the next day. He hoped.

He let himself in, hanging up his jacket and toeing off his shoes before jogging up to his room whrre he prompty stripped and stepped straight into the shower. He let his mind wander but was brought back to reality by his stomach growling angrily. He grimaced a little at the wekness in his legs as he supported himself on the tiled wall. Dizziness swept through him briefly, most likely heat induced, before he washed the remianing conditioner swiftly from his hair and stepped out into his cooler bedroom. After redressing in sweats he would never let himself be seen in outside of these four walls, he fell down onto the couch and set up another re run of ANTM. half an hour later the hunger and dizziness were a distant memory.

* * *

"Cach cach cach cach cach" the smoking failure of a cake setting off the smoke alarm and alerting the entire house of his failure clattered into the sink as Elwy rushed to get the tap running and put out the inevitable mess that was his first attempt at cake making. His host parents came rushing in but glared and rolled heir eyes as Elwy explained the situation

"That's the last time you cook" Lou informed him, wrapping an arm around his wife's waist and pulling her from the room, leaving Elwy to bask in his disappointment

"Cach" he murmured one more time as he tipped the burnt and soggy remains into the bin.

"Told you you wouldn't get it right" came a thick Scottish accent from the direction of the door. Elwy turned on the spot, death glare in place

"Come to gloat Brandon?" he asked venomously

"Well I wasn't but if you insist. You're a tosspot. An imbecile. How do mess a fucking cake up man" Elwy rolled his eyes as he watch his fellow competition winner fall onto a chair, rolling a pen between his hands. Brandon was callous and mean and Elwy took much pleasure in despising the boy. He wasn't actually slotted to come along, but the original winner had been done for plagiarism so the second placer took the prize. "Honestly I am shocked at your apparent lack of skill in any area of life"

"I'm here aren't I? At least I earned my place, you just struck lucky. Now get out" he watched Brandon slink out of the room, rolling his shoulders. Elwy grimaced in disgust. He wasn't one not to be genial towards new people but there as just something about the boy that pushed all of his buttons. He set about washing up, the bad mood that had been brewing all day rising to the surface as he scrubbed forcefully at the now blackened cake tin. Lou was going to kill him. He placed the rest of the clean utensils on the draining wrack as he finished up, wiping his hands, halfway to calling Kurt when his phone lit up in his hand. He grinned at the name on the screen and answered instantly, moving towards the back door.

"Lily" he spoke into the receiver, jogging across the patio and sinking down into a lawn chair.

_"Hey you. You okay?"_ came the reply. Elwy would usually have relaxed instantly at his girlfriend voice but the tension he could sense through that one sentence put him right on edge.

"Fine. How are you calling me right now? I thought your dad was being awkward?"

_"he was but I talked to mam about it and she agreed to let me call you plus there's…something…"_ the line suddenly fell silent and Elwy raised himself back up to ninety degrees, the smile falling from his face as soon as it had come.

"Lils what is it"

_"I just…kay Elwy I have to tell you something but I need you to not freak out too much okay? I only found out a couple of days ago and it's taking me a while to get my head around it. So just, stay chill alright?"_ Elwy began to panic, bringing both legs round so he was sat as close to the edge of the chair as he could possibly be.

"Lil you're scaring me baban what's going on" silence followed and Elwy would always look at that moment as one of seer solicitude, when it had no right to be. When he went tumbling over the edge after the following words, he couldn't remember if he'd been pushed or if he'd let himself fall.

_"I have cancer"_

Three words and Elwy felt his world tumbling down around him. He couldn't move; eyes and mouth wide open. He couldn't speak, he couldn't even think. His mind dissolved into frantic worry, regret, and over everything else a heavy sense of guilt. He was here living his living his dream, she was there…

"I love you" the words were out of his mouth before he could stop them, and really they came out more as a sob than a sentence.

_"Elwy…" _

"I do, I love you, and I think I've always loved you, since the day we first met"

Only silence. Elwy's heart sank. Until he heard a stutter on the other end of the line and the Lily's breathless voice was whispering back

_"I love you too"_ his resolve broke and he clapped a hand to his mouth, not being able to do anything about the tears streaming down his face but keeping the audible emotion inside his chest and not across the yard. He gripped the phone tightly, as if somehow that would make Lily feel the arms he yearned to wrap around her.

"Well what are they going to do I mean there must be something right?" he sputtered, gaining control of his voice.

_"Elwy…"_ she started after a few beats of silence. He felt his heart stop in his chest.

"No Lily don't say it…"

_"Elwy listen I-"_

"No you fucking listen Lily" he said sternly, standing up and pacing his way around the lawn "you are going to be fine, you hear me? Fine! You're going to be fine-"

_"They said they can't-"_

"WELL THEY FUCKING LIED" he yelled down the phone, brandishing his arm around in a desperate attempt to get across to her how deadly serious he was.

_"I saw the results Elwy, you need to listen to me"_ she sounded angry now but Elwy didn't care. She didn't understand _"we need to talk about this"_

"I'm not talking about anything when you insist you're…that you…" he cut himself off, running a hand forcefully through his hair.

_"It's hard I know but-"_

"But nothing. I'm not talking about this now"

_"But Elwy-"_

"I'm going, and when I speak to you again you're going to tell me every possible way to fight this okay?"

_"It's not that simple-"_

"Well then make it simple." He heard her sigh "I love you okay, but you need to stop thinking like that. I'll speak to you in a couple of hours okay?"

_"Yeah, right, okay"_

"No Lily don't…" he kicked his foot out in frustration

_"No Elwy, I have to go, I'll speak to you later"_

"Okay" he said in a small voice, coming down from his panic into fully fledged depression. "Later"

_"Mhmm"_

The line went dead.

He stepped slowly back into the house, the world around him a blur, his cheeks itching with dried tears. If he had thought of all the ways for this day to go, this wasn't one of the possibilities. Suddenly the burnt cake seemed like a distant memory. He trudged through to the entry way, stopping only when Brandon slid down from the stairs.

"Hey tosser"

"Brandon, get out of my way" he growled

"Oh what's up? Did your ginge of a girlfriend dump you?"

**_BAM_**

Brandon went wheeling backwards, falling heavily against the banister, clutching his nose. Elwy forced himself to move, out of the front door and into the street. Brandon didn't follow him.

He almost staggered his way down the road, wiping tears from his face as they fell and choking back sobs as they came stuttering through his throat. He reached Kurt's house and banged heavily on the door, only collapsing when Kurt opened it with a look of horror as he was suddenly burdened with a broken and sobbing Elwy. He felt himself being pulled inside and up the stairs before Kurt planted him firmly on the end of the bed and rushed off to get tissues. Elwy wiped his face again, feeling the tears subsiding in his chest. Now all he felt was a vague sort of ache somewhere deep in his chest. Kurt returned wielding a wad of tissues which he shoved into his hand and fell down next to him.

"She's got cancer." He laughed humourlessly, the noise sounding empty and forlorn. "Funny too, because I told her I loved her and yet somehow" he waved a hand in front of him "she thinks that she'll…she'll" he felt the emotion building in his chest again and the next thing he knew he was curled inside Kurt's arms on the floor of his room, crying like the world was ending.

And to him, it sure felt like it.

"I can't do this again Kurt, not after Dylan, not after that, I c-can't"

"shhh I know, trust me I know. Remember how I know El" he stiffened in Kurt's arms, pulling himself up in guilt

"I'm sorry, I didn't even think, wow I'm such a dick" he pushed a hand through his fringe again, wiping his nose on his sleeve

"No, don't be sorry. I'm the best person to come to but listen to me" he shifted a bit so he was facing Elwy fully, hands resting on his shoulders "remember Dyl? Remember how we got through that? We both did, and remember how I was there then? Well I'm going to be there now okay? Sometimes you are such an idiot" Elwy chuckled lightly, tightness pulling heavily across his chest and stomach. He felt sick and light headed and just wanted to fall into bed and never rise again. "You want to call her back?" he prompted gently, running his hand across his back. He thought for a moment, taking deep breaths, and then nodded.

"Yeah, I was a bit of a douche I should probably apologise. I'll be back in a sec."

"No" Kurt shook his head and stood "stay in here, I'll go get some drinks and stuff okay? Good luck" he got one more pat on the arm and then Kurt was outside the room, closing the door softly behind him.

Elwy took a moment, calming his breath and taking out his phone with shaking hands. His parents were going to kill him for the bill but that was the last thing on his mind as he flicked through his contacts, finger hovering over her name before he hit it and held the device to his ear. It rang more times that he could count with his mind buzzing as it was, and the she was saying hello and Elwy was speechless. He felt the pressure building in his chest but he did his best to push it down.

"Lily, hi, I wanted to apologise"

_"yeah you better"_

"look, Lily I'm sorry okay? I just…freaked out…"

_"you can say that again."_

"It's just, with Dyl and everything that happened with Kurt and now you and, it's just hard. Just hard" he trailed off, rubbing a weary hand across his face and waiting, nerve wracked, for a reply. He heard her sigh on the other end of the line.

_"I know, I know I'm sorry I should have warned you a bit, and this probably would have been done better over Skype but I don't think I c-could…could deal w-with you…"_ she fell into sudden tears, words breaking off into sobs as she broke down on the other end of the line. Elwy swallowed hard, letting his head fall back against Kurt's mattress. The temptation to give in, to just let go was so potent that his head was halfway to his knees when a small voice in the back of his mind yelled at him to snap out of it. He needed to be there for Lily, just like he had been for his parents after his brother died. He needed to e the strong one, like he had been for Dylan, like he had been for Kurt. He needed to stuck this out. He cleared his throat.

"Lily, listen to me, I've done this before and I know how things go and we're going to see that as a good thing okay? I'm going to be here whenever, if you need to call me or text me or Skype me, any time of the day or night I'll be here right? I don't care how much it costs as long as you know I'll be here"

_"I l-love you so m-much, El"_

"I love you too" he whispered, feeling his resolve crumbling again at the desperation in her voice

_"Just please d-don't go anywhere, o-okay"_ he sniffed, almost smiling

"I'm not going anywhere baban okay? You can be sure of that" she chuckled lightly at the other end of the line and the sound made his heart ache for his homeland, for the green moors and winding rivers, for the stench of steaming cow shit every few weeks. These were all elements he associated with Lily, along with her apple scented shampoo and coconut flavoured lip balm. He never thought he'd wish to see a sheep so much as he did in that moment, or to hear a domestic going down outside the house or the clatter of smashing china as another colleague dropped another cup on another lazy Saturday afternoon in Jacob's ladder. His mouth ran dry and his stomach twisted at memories of times spent messing around with friends in the park or terrifying his driving instructor around dizzy bends behind his home city. He longed for nippy evenings spent tackling his rugby team mates into frost hardened ground in the middle of February and curling up with Lily later that night, letting her soothe away at another sport related injury. Lily. All he wanted was Lily.

"I miss you so much" his voice strained

"I miss you too. More than you can imagine"

"I want to be there with you right now"

"I know but…we'll talk about it another time okay? I have to go" the sharpness in her tone made him figure a parent had just walked in so e nodded to himself

"Okay. Dim problem. When can I see you again? Or at least call?"

"Erm…am dydd llun?"

"Iawn" he sighed "love you cariad"

"I…I love you Ell, I'll speak to you on Monday. Bye"

"Hwyl" he said but the line was already dead. Surprisingly his eyes were still dry and his throat was still clear, although the ache in his chest hadn't diminished. He heard a knock on the door and looked up to see Kurt entering with a tray covered in tea and the Bara Brith they had baked together. "Did you hear any of that?" he asked, tucking his phone away and taking the offered mug. Kurt shook his head, sinking down next to him.

"I was just talking to Finn. How is she?"

"Good. Not good. I don't know. She didn't really say much more than she already had" he shrugged, warming his hands to burning point as he clutched his tea tightly.

"More to the point, are you okay?" Elwy considered for a moment, chewing his lip.

"Yeah. Yeah I'm okay. For now." And it wasn't a lie. No doubt it would hit him later, when he curled up in bed, darkness seeping into his bones like venom. But for now he was…coping.

"You'll let me know if you're not though right." Kurt said softly, voice dripping with concern. Elwy smiled with one side of his mouth and nodded.

"Of course Cariad" Kurt rolled his eyes, evidently glad Elwy was a little closer to his usual self. He held out his mug

"To fighting spirit?" he said. Elwy jerked his head to the side and raised his own to clink with Kurt's

"Ydw" they both drank deeply.

Elwy let the warm liquid numb the pain in his heart and limbs, easing away the tension in his shoulders and calming the roils in his stomach.

Really, tea was the cure for all ills.

* * *

Elwy left late that evening, refusing to stay for dinner or "intrude" as he called it, and disappeared into the dusk, head bowed and arms deep into his parka pockets. Kurt sighed as he watched the boy wander slowly down the street, closing the door softly after realising there was nothing more he could do tonight. No doubt Elwy wasn't going to get much sleep, just as Kurt most likely wasn't going to either. The memory's still burned raw in his mind; emotions re surfacing that hadn't for a while.

He stepped quietly into the kitchen, falling down into a chair and muting a yawn.

"Do you want to tell me what's up?" he Dad's voice drifted through from the lounge as he entered

"Not really" Kurt rubbed hand across his face "you remember Lily?" Burt chuckled lightly

"The girl he's had a crush on since he was thirteen?"

"Fourteen" Kurt correctly softly "she got cancer."

Kurt felt the air stiffen suddenly, as if something in the air had solidified. His father swallowed hard and took a seat opposite his son

"Do they know if…" Kurt nodded.

"It's not good. Elwy said he was going to call her and get all the details but it looks like It's going to be a rough ride with a bad ending"

"You Kurt" his father started, looking concerned "I'm sure Elwy would understand if you wanted to just, distance yourself from it a little. He knows how difficult this is for you"

"Yeah Dad and so does he. Remember Dylan; remember why we are so close Dad. We've both been through this before. I was there for him when Dyl died, I'm going to be there when…" he trailed off, not wanting to make anything concrete by saying it out loud. A lot could change in the next few weeks and he didn't want to give up that easily "Lily is my friend too. I'm just as devastated as he is" for some reason he felt anger building in him, his voice sharper and higher pitched. Why didn't his dad get it? Did he think him so fragile? After all the shit Kurt had endure, from Karofsky and the on off bullying his had suffered through most of his life, losing his mother, losing Elwy; even if he had returned. Kurt was no stranger to heartbreak or abandonment and the fact that his father seemed to still insist on stepping lightly around any subject that included any of these topic burned like a fire in his stomach. He pushed himself up from the seat.

"Dinner will be up soon bud, don't get too busy"

"I don't feel much like eating" he snapped, wrapping his arms around his body and jogging up the stairs. He wanted nothing more than to lock himself away, stick on the soundtrack to Les Mis and cry.

Which was exactly what he did.

He woke up, mouth dry and stomach rumbling at some time just before midnight. His skin was tight and itching from the dried tears on his cheeks and he felt stiff and uncomfortable lying atop his comforter still dressed in his weekend attire. The ipod dock on his dresser was still glowing a faint blue light but the music had long ended, sinking away with the final notes of no-one mourns the wicked. Kurt pushed himself up, gripping his stomach as nausea and dizziness surged through him. He clamped his mouth shut, breathing heavily through his nose before feeling strong enough to push himself to his feet. His knees shook and his feet felt almost numb as he treaded heavily towards the door and out into the dark hallway. He gripped the banister tightly as he stepped downstairs, trying his hardest not to make too much noise. It surprised him that his father hadn't come and woken him but Burt knew him well enough to know that leaving him alone was probably for the best. There had been many angry tears in the past when Kurt didn't get his alone time.

The light was still on in the kitchen but the room sat empty and cold. Kurt stepped towards the fridge and grabbed the milk. In well rehearsed movements, he filled a glass, punched in the time on the microwave and fell down onto a bar stool. A couple of minutes later the appliance pinged angrily at him and he collected the glass, taking into the lounge before taking a sip.

The first few mouthfuls were a battle, his mind forcing him to drink and his stomach refusing to le up rolling and almost pushing the liquid back up Kurt's throat. He got through half the glass and had to take a few deep breaths. A few minutes later he had only a quarter of the glass left and he felt the chill and tension flowing out of his body in waves. The shake in his limbs became less pronounced and he could finally take a mouthful without the fear and throwing it all back up again. He finished the glass triumphantly and placed it down gently on the coffee table.

Without much more thought he made his way back upstairs and began to undress, slowly fiddling with various zips and buttons and slipping into a pair of soft blue cotton pyjamas and climbing into bed. The room was cooler than usual, the sheets taking longer to warm up and Kurt curled in on himself and tried to make his mind go blank.

Except it wouldn't.

He felt wide awake, odd considering warm milk normally sent him straight off. His stomach was reasonably content and his limbs felt heavy with weariness but whatever he tried – counting sheep, humming to himself – he just couldn't shut the thoughts off. It wasn't even anything particularly terrible, just this French test and Blaine and…

He sat up suddenly. There was someone he could call. Then he hesitated. It was half past bloody midnight for crying out loud, he didn't want to piss the boy off by waking him up in the middle of the night. He lay back down and tried to relax, moving his focus to one limb at a time until he was firmly softened against the mattress. Ten minutes later his foot began to twitch and he sat up again. It was no use; he'd have to call someone.

He picked his phone up off the nightstand, flicking on the lamp as he did so and scrolled slowly through his contacts. He wasn't going to call Elwy; he most definitely didn't want to bother him now. Rachel would be no use, and Mercedes would sigh in sympathy and call him boo but that's not what he needed right now. What he needed was some clear insight onto the situation, or at least an intelligent distraction. His finger hovered over Blaine's name, his mind in two. On one hand Blaine would be the perfect person to talk right now; Kurt could torrent and not worry about being judged. At the same time he didn't want to piss his boyfriend off.

_Boyfriend_

He hit the call button instantly as the word flashed a cross his vision, sighing with relief at the slight shuffle and alert voice that answered after only four rings.

_"Kurt? What are still doing up?"_ he sounded chirpy, and most definitely awake. Kurt frowned

"I could ask you the same question"

_"I had…a project due this week. I got so caught up in yesterday that you know…I didn't feel much like doing it"_ Kurt blushed a little, unable to hold back the smile spreading across his face. He had been right in calling Blaine.

"I know what you mean. Yesterday was…lovely. Or I guess I should say the day before yesterday" he glanced at the clock.

_"Yeah, back to that, why are you up so late?"_

"I erm…Elwy had some news." He bit his lip, smile fading from his face as the memory of Elwy curled, and sobbing in his arms came floating so vividly to the front of his mind. He squeezed his eyes shut as he waited for Blaine's reply.

_"Oh, what was it?"_ he sound curious, and more than a little bit confused

"You know I talked about Lily? They started dating just before he came out here but he's been crushing on here since before he came over the first time. I'm pretty sure felt the same way but you know skinny love" he shrugged.

_"Oh I know"_Blaine laughed a little

"Well he found out today – yesterday – that she...she has C-cancer" he stumbled over the last word, the mental block he'd developed since his mother's death appearing to trip him up. There was only silence for a moment, and then Blaine voice came through, so sincere and worried that Kurt almost smiled.

_"How serious?"_

"Pretty. It's not looking too good. We don't know how much time she has left yet"

_"So it is a case of..."_

"Yeah" he heard Blaine sigh on the other end of the line

"_I'm so sorry Kurt"_ he said, voice sounding strained_ "I wish I could be there right now. Actually…I could be over right now let me just-"_

"Blaine" he cut across him before the boy got any ideas. "As much as I'd love you here I think I just…I just need some time alone right now okay?"

_"o-okay"_ he sounded dejected. Kurt sighed and rubbed his eye, pressing down a yawn. He suddenly felt ready to drop off. The simple act of telling someone what was on his mind had taken all the energy from his body. Or maybe it was just telling Blaine.

"It's nothing to do with you Blaine, I promise. It's just what I do, something I've always done."

"_I guess I have to learn my boyfriends little things so I don't feel like a completely idiot every time I try and make him feel better because really time like this I'll say stuff and I just-" _

"Blaine." He deadpanned, warmth spreading through him in tendrils. "Blaine. Shut up. We've got all the time in the world for that kind of stuff." Blaine stopped his rambling and laughed a little awkwardly. The hairs on Kurt's neck were suddenly standing on end, the smile of his face looking like it would be glued there forever more.

_"Are you…gonna be okay for the rest of the night? I can come over if you really need…"_

"No Blaine really but actually" he raised an eyebrow at a sudden idea, blushing at the thought of asking. All of a sudden he felt like a shy pre-teen "could you maybe just…stay on the line until I fall asleep? If you can't then its fine I just thought you know…its comforting" he spoke in a small voice. A second later he thought his heart would explode at the sheer adoration laced in Blaine's tone as he replied.

_"Of course, anything you need. Just lie down okay?"_ Kurt flicked off the light and climbed back into bed, sighing as he felt sleep tugging at his eyelids almost instantly

"Blaine I'…I'm go..." his voice trailed off into yawn as he settled deeper into the bed.

_"shhh"_Blaine soothed. And then he was singing, softly and almost wordlessly. An unknown lullaby that achieved nothing but lulling Kurt a little deeper into his half dozing dream state. He didn't know when he dropped off but the song wove in and out of his dreams that night;

_Homebird sing, Leave out nothing tell me everything _


	11. Chapter 11

**_A/N:_** Soooooooo i apologise for this taking so long but yeah. A levels. (if anyone knows how this works i'm basically resitting two of my AS's while completing two A levels and it totally sucks) anyway i came up against such a wall with this chapter but i hope you guys enjoy it, it was hell to write. Thank you again for the reviews and messages and don't forget to check out my tumblr (thesmoulderholder) if you fancy any updates. Don't need to follow me or anything but i put all my stuff for this fic tagged under "hannah liveblogs tbwtss" so check it out (but spoilers abundant)

Read on!

* * *

It took his head falling hard into his locker the next morning to make Blaine realise that he needed to stop avoiding sleep. It wasn't that he was doing it for the negative result; the headaches, the incessant yawning, the dark circles. He just knew that if he let himself lose grip on the world for too long everything would begin to fall apart.

Yeah, his parents kept him up too. Since his slip of the Cooper incident, his mother had been pretty concrete on the fact that she wasn't going to place herself as a mat at her husbands feet, to walk all over as he wished. It pleased and scared Blaine in equal measure. Of course he was glad his mother was beginning to sum up the courage to stand up to his father, to bully him back, but he knew what the consequences of that kind of behaviour could be. He was scared that one day he would come home to a house void of a mother. His single worst fear.

Apart from losing Kurt, of course.

Losing Kurt had suddenly become a huge motivation for him not to let things slip. Which was why the sleep thing was starting to become a problem. A problem he had to solve. Luckily Kurt's call the previous night had snapped him out of his music induced trance and sent him to bed with lyrics on his tongue and contentment in his chest. Even if it was short lived when his parents started up not two hours later. Really, it was getting ridiculous.

Blaine nursed the sore spot on his head where it had collided with his mammoth history text book, grimacing as it throbbed at the probing. _Brilliant._ He thought. _Typical Monday morning then_. He swapped out his books, gave his head one last rueful rub and slammed the door shut, bringing the blue thermos coffee filled mug with him. He was in Kurt's corridor five minutes later, a half sided smile lighting up his face at the sight of Kurt looking tired, but as polished as ever. He could tell by the uneven slope to his shoulders and the kink in one knee as he fiddled to get his locker combo right.

"Damn fucking thing-"

"Hey" he greeted, making him jump. Kurt blinked a couple of times and then seemed to recognise Blaine.

"Oh" he turned back to his locker, finally managing to get it open before shoving a load of crumpled papers inside "stupid fall, wind blew these everywhere and I had to go chasing after them, then I almost ran Mrs Cole over trying to get here in time. Honest to god if that woman so much as speaks to me this evening I…" he trailed off at Blaine's hand on his wrist. He turned to look at him, eyes wide and nostrils flaring.

"Hey" Blaine said a little softer, tipping his head and smiling. Kurt took a deep breath and then let it out slowly, relaxing his tense stature and letting his eyes close for a few seconds.

"Sorry" he said as soon as he'd reopened them. He smiled "Monday's" Blaine nodded

"Know the feeling. You look tired; did you stay asleep last night?" Kurt nodded "good. But you still look like you need this" he pulled the cup from behind his back "it's one of those thermos-y things so it should still be hot." Kurt looked down at it, smile widening gradually until he was practically glowing.

"You are the best boyfriend ever, thank you" he took the cup from him and squeezed his hand before taking an appreciative sip.

"Well, I try" Kurt rolled his eyes, letting Blaine hold the coffee while he sorted out his books and then taking it back once the door was shut. They leant their shoulder against adjoining lockers. It felt odd for Blaine to be propped up against Elwy's in place of the boy himself. He'd only known him for a bit over three weeks and already the world seemed a little less optimistic with him absent.

"How's Elwy?" He asked. Kurt's face sank a little

"I don't really know. He was upset last night to be sure but I don't think it had quite hit him yet"

"I can't even imagine…" his words fell away as the truth of the situation hit him. It wasn't that his friends were hurting, or that he could feel that sadness seeping deeply into his own bones; it was the fear that what was happening to them could easily happen to him. The odds that Kurt was going through this again were completely unfounded anyway, and here Blaine was, not having been touched by the six lettered word in his life. What were the odds in that? What if something did happen, whether medical or not? What if he was left lonely, the things he cared about yet again stripped from him like cotton. What if he was abandoned again, not by choice but by fate? Blaine wasn't a big believer in fate but he'd come to realise that it was more than mere chance that he had pulled up his sleeves in the choir room. Every event in his life had to have been leading up to that moment because there was no way in hell that he would have felt comfortable telling anyone else what he had told Kurt that afternoon.

It was one of those moments, one where you look back at it and think how unlikely the circumstances really were. Who tells someone that upon first meeting them? This wasn't some crappy romcom come tragedy that has the audience squirming and then sobbing and coming out completely unsatisfied but feeling like they've learnt something none the less. This wasn't a story written and sat there to be lived out, the only writer here was Blaine and so that pinnacle moment in the choir room had to only have been strength of sheer will. Something must have been leading his mind that day or else Blaine would have completely messed it up, as usual. If he was truly in control then he would have up and run the moment Kurt's eyes set sight on his wrist by accident. It was all so…unlikely and against the odds, for things now to be so good and yet so bad and yet so perfectly unbalanced. He felt dizzy with it, dizzy with the knowledge that though things were plummeting for them all, life taking them on one of those wild rides that either left you breathless with exhilaration and joy or snapped you into a dark crevice almost impossible to escape…it was okay, they would be okay. Because they had each other and that was all they needed.

Needless to say however, what was given could just as easily be taken.

"Blaine" he snapped out of his reverie at the sound of Kurt's voice

"Huh?"

"I said it might be nice if we go see him tonight. I presume he won't be in today, I'll get his notes for class and we can drop them off together after coffee."

"We're still going for coffee?" Blaine replied, slightly bemused.

"Well I don't know about you but I'm going to need it. I have a tonne of work to do. Did you finish your project?"

"erm, yeah p-pretty much" what Blaine wasn't going to tell Kurt was that he had in fact spent the night before letting his fingers glide over the keys of his keyboard, feather light as he tapped away one melody after the next, perfecting a tune that one day his boyfriend may have the privilege to hear. It was his intention that, should Kurt ask Blaine to sing for him again, he would have something original prepared. But he wanted to get it exactly right. "Sounds like a good idea though. I don't have anything that needs doing desperately." He nodded his agreement, drawing a happy smile from Kurt. It made his insides squirm just a little.

"Great. I should probably get going" Kurt said, glancing at his watch.

"Yeah, or Tina will yet again jump to conclusions"

"She does have a habit of doing that" Kurt laughed, pushing off from the lockers. The sound set a happy thrill right though him, lifting his feet a little higher as he wandered slowly through the hallways with Kurt. "This is me" he waved a hand at a half empty classroom "I'll see you at lunch?" he squeezed Blaine's hand and turned towards the door. Blaine smiled fondly after him and turned to his own destination.

He spent the morning worrying about Kurt. Something he did a lot. At first he'd worried about himself in relation to Kurt. Really, it still surprised Blaine to think that _he_ was Kurt's boyfriend. _Him_. Then it had turned to worrying about their future, about the inevitability that Kurt would eventually get tired of his self pity routine and move on. And of course there was his looming graduation. There was a whole year before then however, so Blaine put it out of his mind. June was a world away.

Though of course then, Kurt had stopped eating.

It was subtle at first; missing breakfast and not eating enough at lunch but assuring Blaine he was eating plenty in the evening. Until the pallor of his skin began to change and his hand became looser in his own as they sat sipping their coffee of an afternoon. Kurt's hand would shake after only half a cup and twice within the previous week he had excused himself with nausea and left Blaine to finish his beverage alone. It wasn't affecting his mood yet, that he could tell, but Blaine knew it was only a matter of time before this thing – whatever it was – got serious. He promised himself he'd mention it at some point in the near future. Maybe when his boyfriend wasn't so worried about his best friend. His heart twanged at the thought and he shifted slightly on his stool, rubbing the back of his neck. He'd gone suddenly cold at the thought. Blaine resolved to make things as easy as possible for them both, like getting up that little bit earlier so he had time to get Kurt coffee before homeroom. Or make him food, or stay up half the night lulling him to sleep. Whatever Kurt needed, he was determined to be there no matter what.

He found Kurt sat alone at their table, and the sight of him hunched over a bottle of water, looking dismal and resigned had Blaine's lips pulling down into a grimace instantly. He slipped in next to Kurt as usual, bumping his shoulder before taking out his lunch.

"Hey, you okay?" Kurt took a deep stuttered breath, sounding like he needed it and nodded, smiling faintly. "You got anything other than that?" he asked glancing at the half empty bottle sat in front of him

"Carole is making a big dinner, didn't want to spoil it" he said easily, taking another sip. Blaine noticed the tremble in his hand as he placed the bottle back down, but chose not to mention it. Instead, he changed the subject.

"How was class?"

"Boring, as usual. Being stuck in a class with IQ's half your size really doesn't help matters" Blaine chuckled, a little relieved at the return of Kurt's sass.

"Is there not an ap for it?"

"Yes but then I would have to suffer Rachel. Don't get me wrong, I love her to bits, but there' something about her jumping up and down in her seat every five seconds that gets on every last nerve. Plus I can make up the extra credit."

"At least you haven't got Tina drowning you with questions the moment you sit down"

"I can imagine. She and Mercedes are the biggest gossips in Glee club"

"I wouldn't have guessed" he exclaimed sarcastically, pulling a smile from Kurt at last

"What did she ask you about?"

"Oh the usual. Us mostly" he took a bite of his sandwich "for someone in a relationship of her own she does seem extremely obsessed with mine" Kurt snorted "what?"

"Nothing" he shook his head, putting his bottle back into his bag and resting his hand on his chin, facing Blaine. "What do you tell her?"

"Well she asks weird questions. Like whether we like the same musicals"

"Which of course is yes"

"Well, I don't know, we were only going off _favourite_ Musicals on Saturday. Who knows, we could like completely different stuff" he looked up at Kurt through his lashes, trying to look uppity and most likely failing miserably considering Kurt just laughed and shook his head.

"You" he said, pressing a very quick kiss to his cheek "are ridiculous"

"I try" he shrugged, before polishing off his sandwich. "Are we still on for coffee this arvo?"

"Arvo?" Kurt said sceptically "you have been watching _way_ too many Australian soaps"

"Shut up. Seriously, are we?"

"Yeah, I got Elwy's notes for the morning so we can head there afterwards…if you don't mind. I figure you don't actually know him that well I don't want to force him on you but you know, I need to be there for him right now…" Blaine could sense the drop in his boyfriend's mood instantly, the sudden lax in his otherwise perfect posture; the way his hands were folding over each other in his lap. He reached out and took them both underneath his own beneath the table.

"Don't worry; I know you need to be there for him. And I want to be here for you so if you need anything, just let me know" he smiled as reassuringly as he could, pressing his side up against Kurt's. The other boy dropped his head to Blaine's shoulder. He flushed a little, stomach squirming at the motion as Kurt circled his arm through his own.

"I wish this wasn't happening" Kurt said in such a small voice that Blaine stumbled a little bit in his breathing, brow furrowing.

"I know" he said quietly back "but we can't control what life throws at us. We just have to make sure that we surround ourselves with the people that make us happy and then anything is beatable"

"Not everything" Kurt breathed, and Blaine felt it like a dagger to his heart, the complete and utter truth of those two words.

"But…you've overcome it before right? I was…talking to Elwy" he started hesitantly, licking his lips "he told me you guys have both lost people like this before. But you got through it together" he was careful to make sure he talked about them and not himself, this was something they had both overcome_ together_ and the last thing he wanted to do was butt himself into the middle of the equation and make it any less of a thing for the two friends to share. This wasn't about Blaine being there for him, this was about Kurt being okay, in all the ways he possibly could be and that included reassuring him that he wasn't alone in this. There was a moment of silence which was broken by the sound of Kurt sniffling beside him. Blaine pulled himself back to see Kurt, fingers pressed to his mouth and eyes squeezed shut "oh Kurt" he wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer to his body. The other hand he used to grab their bags. "Kurt, hey, can you stand? Let's get out of here" Kurt nodded against him and pulled away, grabbing Blaine's hand as he led them both out the caf as quickly as possible and towards the choir room, the first room that popped into his head. It was blissfully empty, just as he'd expected it to be. He closed the door behind them and pulled Kurt towards the seats at the back of the raised stage, not bothering with the lights, allowing the beams falling gently through the elevated windows to illuminate their way.

Once they were seated, it seemed Kurt's tears had mostly dried up, as if something had bloomed in him and set the emotions going but then cut off unexpectedly. Now he looked haggard and indifferent. Blaine rubbed his am gently, squeezing his bicep and leaving his hand there. And then he waited. He didn't speak or move, or try to coerce Kurt into speech. He didn't even spend too much time looking at him. Five minutes in, he folded his legs and turned to the front, keeping his hand firmly over Kurt's. After another ten, Kurt roused, sniffing and sitting a little straighter. Blaine snapped his head to the side, turning his body.

"Thank you" Kurt croaked, scratching his cheek and not meeting Blaine's eyes.

"Of course. You gonna tell me what's up?" Kurt's eyes flicked up to his quickly, and then away

"You know what's up" he deadpanned, moving his fingers to tug slightly at his ear lobe. Blaine noted the movement and tucked it away into his memory for future reference.

"Kurt, I can tell something's up. If you don't want to tell me now that's fine, but you haven't been eating and I know-"

"It's nothing Blaine okay? Drop it" Kurt snapped, pulling his arm away from him and shouldering his bag.

"I don't want to force you to do anything Kurt; I'm just worried about you and with this-"

"With what Blaine?" he stood and turned back to him "you think I'm so fragile? Yeah, I've been through this before, not you. Just drop it" he stamped across to the door and left Blaine sat open mouthed, completely stunned. His days were growing longer and more complicated as they came, and Blaine didn't know how long he could take it before his resolve broke.

* * *

Kurt almost stampeded his way to History that afternoon, running from his fear and hoping to god he escaped the guilt he was beginning to feel having snapped at Blaine. The running was fine, but eventually you had to slow to a stop and that time came when he collapsed into his seat and pulled out his books just as the bell rang. He looked up at the board to see the words "catch up lesson" plastered across the board and a familiar substitute seated behind the desk. He groaned audibly and snapped his book shut, picking up his notepad instead. He doodled mindlessly for the first few minutes, not bothering to turn to his actual History work, until his mind turned to Blaine. Then Elwy. Then…

The nib of his pencil broke, skittering off across the table. He dropped it and let his face fall into his hands, breathing deeply. He didn't resume his doodling or his work for the rest of the lesson, and sighed in relief when the bell rang. He walked slowly to the choir room, thankful that his last period of the day had been a double and hesitated one corridor over. He could just…skip. Then he remembered his promise to Blaine for coffee and he took another step. Then again he could just skip, send him a text to meet him there…

He curled up in his warm car to text Blaine, hitting send after only a slight hesitation. Kurt wasn't exactly sure of what to do now, the anger he had felt before completely wiped from his body, the sharp flare of emotion earlier having left him cold and unsatisfied only made him ratty and impatient. He felt guilty and unsure and entirely not himself. Not this Kurt. This was sophomore year Kurt and it terrified him. he sighed heavily looking up from his phone to glare across the quickly emptying parking lot and started when he saw a familiar form striding towards the main entrance. Kurt narrowed his eyes and stepped out of the car, calling over. The boy turned, smiling weakly. Kurt made his way over.

"Hey, what are you doing here? I thought you Okayed it with school to stay off?"

Elwy shrugged "I figured I would come in for Glee. You know what gossips that lot can be" Kurt rolled his eyes and threaded his arm through Elwy's. "Besides, I don't know what use I'm going to be for sectionals in this state" he indicated his puffed up face and dim eyes.

"No Elwy, the whole point of Glee is to be there for each other, we're going to help you through this..." he trailed off quietly, mind working in strange ways until his heart gave a jolt and all of the guilt he had been holding back went flooding through his system. He blinked a couple of times "plus I need to apologise to someone"

"What did you do now?" Elwy chuckled. Kurt rolled his eyes and continued to lead him towards the school.

They entered the choir room to a confused looking group of people, all eyes on Blaine who was frowning down at his phone. They looked up as they came through the door, Blaine's face screwing up in even more confusion as his eyes flicked between them both. He held up his phone

"Kurt I don't-"

"Elwy decided to drop by so I figured I'd come along too" he let go of Elwy's arm and walked over to placate his boyfriend with a kiss to the cheek "we still on for coffee?" he asked as they seated themselves next to each other. Blaine still looked confused, scared almost "what?"

"I just…you seem better. I was expecting the cold shoulder after…before…" he settled his eyes into his lap, Kurt's stomach dropped.

"Yeah…no, I'm sorry about that but my Dad… it's easy for a lot of people to assume I'm not okay. I just get a bit touchy about it; I shouldn't have off loaded on you like that. I'm sorry" he placed his hand atop Blaine's and let the other boy intertwine their fingers, a small smile playing at his lips.

"I just want you to know you don't have to be all strong around me. I don't want you to feel like you have to be careful because of…you know…" he twitched his wrist a little. Kurt sighed heavily, trying to shake off the bad mood just as Mr Schue walked into the room.

"I'll try harder, I promise" he whispered before turning to face forward again.

"Okay Gang, now I know we've been a bit all over the place for the last couple of weeks..."

"No kidding" Tina muttered

"…but we really have to get our heads down and get a set list for sectionals together. So, any ideas?" Rachel cleared her throat, sickly sweet smile in place and was about to step forward when Elwy of all people stood up slowly and cut across her

"Actually Mr Schue I was wondering if I could speak to everyone for a second? I think I have a bit of explaining to do"

"The stage is yours Elwy" Mr Schue nodded and stepped aside "make it quick"

"I will" he confirmed, tucking his hands into his pockets "so a few of you may have noted my absence today but be reassured it was okayed, I'm not breaking any rules being here" he chanced a glance in Kurt's direction who merely smiled warmly and squeezed Blaine's hand a little tighter "but stuff is going on for me right now that may affect where I'm at vocally so if I start to flag and you want to replace me-" the words were met with loud noises of indignation. Elwy chuckled and trained his eyes on the floor "I'm not saying it will but if worse come to worse I don't mind in the slightest if you guys want to find someone better. Lastly…I know I'm new and all but I actually had a suggestion if anyone would want to hear it?"

Mr Schue had pushed himself up from his seat and made his way slowly back to front and centre. Blaine suddenly stiffened next to him. Kurt's eyes narrowed but he chose to let it go.

"We're open to suggestions" Mr Schue said brightly

"Brill" Elwy exclaimed and directed a wink at Kurt "I think you might like this one"

* * *

Dalton games night was somewhat of a tradition of the school, stretching back almost to its debut as the number one boy's school within over a hundred mile radius. It surprised Blaine when he found himself up on the highway to Westerville Wednesday afternoon, a final bout of courage fuelling his legs out of the front door and down the drive. Honestly, he was scared out of his wits.

He'd told Kurt everything, or at least almost everything. They hadn't come across the delicate reason for his transfer as of yet and he was grateful for it. They both came from different worlds, and he wasn't sure how things were going to change when they finally collided.

The weather around him was hellish, leaves flying across his path as Ohio took its dive into autumn, the last remnants of summer; sticky dusks and balmy mornings, fading swiftly into the past. It almost felt like summer was a closing book that Blaine could tuck away forever. He truly felt like he was onto a breakthrough, not just with Kurt, but with his whole life. Which was part of the reason he was returning to Dalton in the first place.

The sun was way on its way towards the horizon as he pulled into the long drive leading to the school, its rays peeking cheekily below the confines of the guard he had pulled down in front of his eyes. He flipped it upwards angrily and squinted his way into the guest parking lot, and cut the engine. He sat still for a few moments; hand still on the steering wheel. His parents would eventually find out he was skipping Italian to be here but honestly, it wasn't as if he needed it. He was practically fluent and this needed doing. He glanced at the clock to see it to be just past three. Perfect.

He sidled over to the main entrance, not bothering to sign himself in or make his appearance known to anyone official. The boys had sneaked in their girlfriends often enough for it not to be a problem. The halls were quiet, surprising for a Wednesday afternoon. He felt the familiar sense of security and warmth seep into his bones at the scent of coffee and old books. This place even smelled like knowledge.

The games room was a few doors down from the senior commons, seeing as it was them that spent the majority of their time in there. He paused at the door, listening for any noise and when all he came back with were a few "oohs" and a gasp he smiled. Quietly, he turned the door knob and stepped into the room, careful not to alert anyone of his presence. What seemed like half of the senior class plus a couple of others were gathered around a table in the centre of the room where Blaine could just about see a head of bright blonde hair. He rolled is eyes. A buzzer, a triumphant clap and the entire crowd erupted. Blaine laughed quietly to himself and waited for the crowd to calm down before calling out a bit louder

"You know this is totally cliché" a bunch of the group turned on the spot, grins lighting up their faces and before he knew it he was a Blaine sandwich between about twenty students, all trying grasp some part of him. He tried his best to bat them away but in the end just succumbed to the hug, jaw aching with a smile that hadn't adorned his face in weeks.

"Blaine, what the hell are you doing here?" Jeff exclaimed, flicking his hair out of his face and pulling him towards one of the couches. The rest of the Warblers followed, arraying themselves just as they used to. Blaine almost felt out of place, strangely toned down in dress compared to the bright blues and reds surrounding him. He shrugged

"I missed you guys. And I have some business with…just stuff I need to sort out" he finished, not wanting to go into too much detail

"I bet your new school isn't half as awesome as this" Nick quipped, high fiving Jeff with a pleased nod

"It's…different, I'll give you that but I think I…I've found a home at McKinley." He said carefully. Thad raised an eyebrow

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"It means" came a voice from the doorway. Blaine turned to see Wes entering, smiling in understanding, and maybe a little smugly "that our Blaine here has found himself a boyfriend"

"Wes!" he stood up and hugged his fellow Warbler and best friend tightly, ignoring the whoops around him. Wes pulled back looking uncertain "please say I'm right on that assumption because otherwise I've just made a total dick of myself" Blaine blushed and sat back down

"His name is Kurt" he said quietly to a slap on the back from Jeff's direction "we've only been dating a couple of weeks. But that's not what I'm here, how are you guys? How are the Warblers?"

"Ready to kick the New Directions ass and you know it" Nick grinned

"I wouldn't be so sure," Blaine said with a smirk "they're pretty talented."

"They have you, of course they are" Blaine took a moment to look around, let his eyes rest on each face in turn. It made his heart throb with a sort of sadness he knew would never be cured.

"You know I really have missed you guys" he said sincerely, waving his arms around uselessly. It was met by a chorus of "aww's" and all of a sudden he was buried under a sea of people again. He laughed it off and stood when they finally released him. "I should probably go do what I'm here for. Don't worry I'll be back. I'm here for a while longer" he said in reply to the faces dropping around him.

"We'll be waiting" Jeff said, wiggling his eyebrows. Blaine stepped towards the door and slipped out with a wave, meandering down the corridors to a room even more familiar than the last. He took a breath, calming his nerves before rapping softly on the aged and varnished wood. A soft voice floated out to welcome him in and he reached for the door knob, peeking his head inside.

Ms. Lloyd was stood with her back to him, observing the fall leaves through a window behind her desk. He smiled at the familiar scent of the diffuser she had sat on her bookshelf. He entered and closed the door behind him, saying cautiously "Ms. Lloyd?"

She span on her heel, face lighting up.

"Blaine! Hey! What're you doing here?" she motioned to the couch set neatly off to one side and they both sat, Blaine crossing one leg over the other as was his wont. He hadn't been doing it lately but something about being back in Dalton reinforced the old Blaine and he couldn't help the habit.

"I figured I'd come back and say hi to the Warblers, I haven't seen some of them since before the summer"

"You did up and leave us a bit quickly there" she said curiously "anything I should know about?" he hesitated for a moment, considering telling his former councillor his suspicion but balked at the last minute and shrugged

"No. McKinley is…good. I have friends there" he tried to hold it back but failed in hiding the grin spreading across his face at the thought of Kurt. He nodded his head in embarrassment.

"Friends?" Ms. Lloyd said questioningly, a small smirk playing at her lips. She really did know Blaine too well.

"Well one in particular. My b-boyfriend" he stumbled over the word, feeling strange saying it in this office of all places "his name is Kurt" she let out an excited little squeak and Blaine had to remind himself that she was only in her mid twenties and still prone to getting excited over the love lives of her students. He felt the blush creeping up from his chest right to the tip of his ears and let his eyes fall to his lap again, laughing lightly.

"Oh I'm glad you've found someone" she said happily and then her posture and tone changed slightly and Blaine knew what was coming "does Jake-"

"Jake doesn't need to know anything" he said firmly "I haven't spoken to him and I don't intend to"

"Okay, don't worry I won't say anything. I hardly see him anymore and I'm not particularly fussed." Then she looked suddenly horrified "don't repeat that"

"Don't worry. I'm not even your student now, technically you can say whatever you want in front of me" he reassured her

"And technically seeing as you're not my student anymore" she stood and moved towards her desk, shuffling around her second draw before pulling out a battered looking file with his name on it. She handed it over, sitting herself back down "you can have that now. You might need it for any future treatment, but seeing as this was never an official thing it won't be much help in terms of professional therapy but maybe it'll help you" she smiled warmly down at him "are you still seeing anyone?"

He shook his head, folding his hands over the file on his knees.

"Well if you ever do, make sure to let them know how to get in contact with me, I may be of some help in terms of history and how best to help you"

"Thank you" he said quietly, flashing her a one sided smile. She reached forward and squeezed his arm fondly

"I believe in you Blaine, don't forget it" he let out a sigh and looked around

"This place really hasn't changed" he noted the same shade of lethal red adorning the walls, the dated but immaculate furniture, the pictures around the room making it feel as homely as Kurt's living room. He couldn't help but pull up the similarities, seeing as Kurt's home and this office were the two places he had actually felt safe within the last eight months. His eyes finally settled on the chair positioned in front of the desk, a chair he had by all counts claimed as his own. It didn't matter how many boys took it in anger or fear or resentment it would always be Blaine's. He'd seethed in here, cried in here, become a better person in here. He'd fallen apart and learnt to put himself back together in here. It was only after he left that things had begun to turn sideways again. Even just being back in her Blaine could feel a sense of calm settling over his limbs, clearing his mind and warming him right through.

"Well I should probably close up for the day" she sighed, snapping him out of his reverie. He stood with her, awkwardly holding out his hand until she pulled him in for a one armed hug. He smiled as they both pulled back, turning for the door.

"Thank you again. For everything." He said as he opened the door, watching her move back to her desk and open her briefcase.

"No problem, just doing my job. Don't give up Blaine. You're a good person, don't forget that" he nodded, lips tight together and left, closing the door softly behind him with the muffled "good luck" warming him as he wandered slowly back towards the senior commons.

The hall was illuminated by the late afternoon light, heavy and golden and glowing across potted plants and mahogany cabinets lining the halls. He felt his heart jerk painfully in his chest again. It wasn't like McKinley wasn't home…it was different. Kurt was his home at Mckinley, but a different type of home. Dalton was his birthright, his solace and his place of comfort. It would take a lot to replace that.

He was turning a corner close to the wall so should have seen it coming when he collided messily with a tall boy wielding a black violin case. His hand holding the file shot out to catch it, dropping the wad of papers in the process. He flipped it quickly and got a firm hold, smiling until he noticed the golden initials carved near the latch.

His heart froze in his chest, cold tendrils of fear creeping across his skin, the other boy was fumbling around on the floor, muttering apologetically and it wasn't until he stood, half a head taller than Blaine, that his face fell and eyes widened.

"B-blaine..i- what're you…I don't" he stuttered, clutching the file. Blaine held out his hand and offered the case, wincing as the boy's hand brushed his. Then he made to move around him but the boy side stepped and forced Blaine to stop. He didn't meet his eyes as he spoke, voice low and threatening.

Honestly though, he was shivering with fear rather than anger

"Jake, I swear, get out of my way"

"Wait, Blaine just…hear me out, I wanted to ap…apologise"

"I am not interested" he shoved past him and down the corridor, hearing footsteps behind him.

"Blaine you can't keep avoiding this"

Blaine stopped, turning slowly, glaring with such intensity he was surprised he didn't turn into Cyclops and sear right through him. "I can avoid this as long as I like, Jake" he spat, clutching the file so hard his knuckles turned white. There was nothing but pure unadulterated rage pounding though his body. His hands shook with it and he hated it. Hated what Jake could turn him into. He couldn't tell whether it was the fear bubbling deep inside him causing the reaction or whether it was the way Jake's lips were twitching at the corners into that familiar smirk.

"You look good Blaine. Better" he said, as off hand as though they were old school chums meeting in the middle of a mall twenty years later. Blaine almost laughed, mostly out of hysteria.

"I cannot believe you have the nerve" he breathed "it was you that made things bad in the first place you…" he cut himself off, touching his closed fist to his lips and keeping his eyes off the boy in front of him "you know, this isn't worth the time" he turned again and made off down the corridor, ignoring Jake's insistent calls from behind him. It seemed he wasn't quite done however because Jake paused and yelled one more time

"You know the Warblers; they welcomed me with open arms. So much for best friends huh?" Blaine stuttered in his stride but carried on walking, closing his eyes a moment longer than a blink. He didn't have the time or the energy to deal with that right now.

He completely bypassed his previous destination and made swiftly for the parking lot, throwing his file across the seat and falling down into his own as soon as he had the door to his Porsche open. This was one of the places the car didn't look out of place. He sat for a moment in silence and then in a sudden fit of anger slammed his hands against the steering wheel. Jake always had to go and fucking ruin it. Every fucking time. He rubbed his hands over his face, angry tears burning in his eyes. He swatted the loose ones away, breathing heavily through his nose and put the car into gear. He would apologise to his friends later, say he got a call and needed to go.

_Too much history_ he thought as he pulled out _too much pain, too many ghosts._


End file.
